It's been a long while since we have sent any updates. Changing Lives has been busy and we have a few exciting announcements, including our outreach to supporting churches and our newest endeavor--Eye on Addiction Radio (see below). Don't miss our new articles and a great video about teens and recovery (there is hope).
We'd like to take this moment to thank you for your involvement in our mission to help friends and families struggling with drug or alcohol abuse. To those who help to provide support and prayer (you know who you are), we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
We are very active online with daily articles, posts and news items as well as getting to know you, via our Blog, Twitter and Facebook pages (click on links below to visit us). We've enjoyed some lively conversations and have had the opportunity to get to know many of you. It's especially heartwarming to watch this growing community of caring individuals reach out to one another to lend support and an understanding ear. Sometimes people just need to know they are not alone and that someone "out there" understands and cares about them. We hope your new year is filled with unexpected blessings. And always remember, Never give up hope.
-Joe & Judy Herzanek
Please share this newsletter with anyone you know who can use some support and encouragement.
~ Tune into our Feb 18th radio show to hear more from Don Williams, Clear Brook Lodge speaking about hope for teen addicts.
Please visit our Facebook Community Page and "like" us to have access to multiple daily updates of "hand-picked" addiction recovery news and information.(click here)
Ask Joe:
Certified Addiction Counselor and Interventionist Joe Herzanek with Lewis and Clark
"When an adult child recognizes a problem with alcohol."
"When an adult child recognizes that he has a problem with alcohol--even has called himself an alcoholic but refuses any help--are there things that we, as the parents, can do to bring the adult child closer to getting help? Are there things to avoid saying/doing?"
There can be many variables with this question but let me give it a try. First of all, regardless of the age, most abusers know that stopping substance use and abuse is going to be difficult. It means making many changes and most of us resist change. It's the same for a person who has found himself in a bad (very bad) marriage. Those who know the person can see how the relationship has deteriorated and so can the person-but they delay facing the inevitable. Why? Fear of the unknown.
So it is with the addict. They often know, but fear of the unknown will keep then stuck. The "unknown" for the addict is-trying to imagine life without drugs and also everything AND everybody that goes along with it.
What can family members or friends do about the addiction? The better question might be, what can they stop doing? Often the family will buy into the addict's belief that their situation is unique, different (which means that the addict has "a good excuse for being the way they are"). Going one step further, the addict now may believe, and have those close to him believing that it's something "outside of him" that is to blame.
The family needs to become educated on this topic and then move toward using some tough love. No rescuing, loaning money, bonding out of jail, paying utilities.Allow the consequences to do the work they are meant to do. Pain is a wonderful teacher. The addict will need to learn some lessons the hard way.
. . . a place to find support from those who have "been there" and a place where you can help others.
We've created a Changing Lives Private Group on Facebook-A place for families and friends of a person struggling with alcohol or drug abuse to post, discuss and help each other.
". . . I am a person of high integrity and will not lead you to purchase a book from an author or publishing house that is not worth the money you pay for it."
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Addicts and alcoholics aren't crazy . . . and they CAN quit!
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*Disclaimer:
The information provided in this email is for educational purposes
only. The views expressed herein are those of the author only. Knowing
that each person's situation is different it is very important that you
meet with/consult a professional in this field before acting on any
perceived advice given.
Joe Herzanek, (Certified Addiction Professional, CAC ll) President: Changing Lives Foundation Providing families in crisis with over 30 years of real-life, hands-on experience and success.
A: Dear Frustrated,
There can be many variables with this question but let me give it a try. First of all, regardless of the age, most abusers know that stopping substance use and abuse is going to be difficult. It means making many changes and most of us resist change. It's the same for a person who has found himself in a bad (very bad) marriage. Those who know the person can see how the relationship has deteriorated and so can the person-but they delay facing the inevitable. Why? Fear of the unknown.
So it is with the addict. They often know, but fear of the unknown will keep then stuck. The "unknown" for the addict is-trying to imagine life without drugs and also everything AND everybody that goes along with it.
What can family members or friends do about the addiction? The better question might be, what can they stop doing? Often the family will buy into the addict's belief that their situation is unique, different (which means that the addict has "a good excuse for being the way they are"). Going one step further, the addict now may believe, and have those close to him believing that it's something "outside of him" that is to blame.
The family needs to become educated on this topic and then move toward using some tough love. No rescuing, loaning money, bonding out of jail, paying utilities. Allow the consequences to do the work they are meant to do. Pain is a wonderful teacher. The addict will need to learn some lessons the hard way.
Best regards,
~Joe
RELATED:
-Detachment. How Can I?
MORE "ASK JOE":
-When an adult child recognizes a problem with alcohol.
-Son needs $75 for drug dealer or he'll be "killed for sure."
-I'm not able to deal with my live-in fiance's need to get drunk every night.
-What if they just CAN'T quit?