September/October  2010
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It seems some of you have been having trouble with a few of our links (especially the one in the top right-hand column on "Wise Counsel"). We have repaired it and have sent this new newsletter file. We apologize for the hassle!

Just a quick update before you read this new issue. Judy and I continue to seek God's will and direction as we move forward. I'm currently taking a short sabbatical from my duties as Chaplain at the Boulder County Jail, but my work helping families with alcohol and drug dependent loved-ones has not slowed down a bit (read about our recent workshop in San Antonio

Unfortunately, the uncertain state of our economy, high unemployment, combined with an abundance of prescription drugs, marijuana dispensaries popping up everywhere (Colorado now has 800), along with the multitude of "pain management" clinics is a perfect recipe for increased substance-related issues. This problem won't be going away soon.

Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to help families find answers and ways to navigate these dangerous issues. Oh . . . and don't miss the Joe Walsh clip toward the end of this newsletter.

Keeping hope alive,
Joes signature
Please keep this email in your inbox to forward to someone you care about. It's an easy way to help a friend or loved-one who may be feeling very alone.
Also, don't miss the 10% off coupon at the bottom for purchasing our products.

Feature Article:

Detachment. How Can I?

When life becomes one crisis after another; when emotional pain and endless drama become "the norm" what am I supposed to do?
Over the past few decades I've received this question a lot. Recently it has become the #1 question. Why is that? What do I suggest to families who have arrived at this place? How about this: My suggestion is to do NOTHING! Stop "doing." Quit "doing." No longer "DO" anything.

Let's talk about letting go and what that looks like (sometimes referred to as detachment). So there--I've said it . . . The "D" word, The Ultimatum, The "Nuclear Option."  Orange Read More
Changing Lives News:

Changing Lives Foundation Header

A Packed House
at our "Handling the Crisis" Workshop-San Antonio!

The two-hour workshop was very well attended (standing room only, with over 140 attendees). Joe and a volunteer did some role playing, there was plenty of good food, interaction, laughter, applause . . . and an emotional ending. Orange Read More

Joe and Judy HerzanekYour Local Mission Dollars
at Work:

(First Pres. Boulder, CO Sept. 2010 Feature Article "The Flame" Newsletter)
First Pres' relationship with Joe Herzanek started in 1999 when Local Missions began supporting him as the Chaplain at the Boulder County Jail. In that role, Joe leads Bible studies, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings in the jail, provides Bibles, conducts one-on-one Christian Studies and substance abuse counseling--along with coordinating all religious volunteer activities.
Orange Read More

Book Excerpt of the Month:

The Importance of Empathy:

This short article explains one of the most important (and one of our favorite) concepts.

Dr. James Fay (Parenting Teens with Love and Logic) illustrates the simple approach-of showing empathy while remaining strong.


Consequences delivered with empathy create responsibility.
Consequences delivered without empathy create resentment.
Orange Read More

DVD Excerpt of the month:

Addiction. What if they just can't quit?

Click here to watch

Learn the truth to the often misunderstood notion that some people "just can't quit." 

Question #8 excerpted from:
"The 10 Toughest Questions Families and Friends Ask About Addiction and Recovery."

Forward to a Friend
Featured resource:

Sober Living in Colorado
A Message from Jocelyn
A lot of people do not understand how serious addiction is. One thing to remember that you are dealing with something that is cunning baffling and powerful. Do not turn your back for one second, and think that you can have some handle on it. Cuz it will always come back and bite you in the ass!
Think about all the time that you spent getting loaded, and all the time that you thought about getting the next drink, or hit. What you would do to get what you needed. Then try to apply all that energy into you staying clean and sober.
If you are interested in staying at a sober living home in Loveland, CO, you can get more information here.
Serenity Houses website

Forward to a Friend
Recent Radio Interviews:
Recovery Now! Logo
Recovery Now Radio
(Madison, Wisconsin)

Over the past couple years I have taped various radio interviews. Among these were several with a wonderful weekly show called "
Recovery Now!" Host Ned Wicker and I engage in easygoing discussions covering a multitude of topics.

Jail is Not the End of the World!
Chaplain Joe Herzanek has much experience with this topic as he has spent the last 17 years working at the Boulder County Jail helping those struggling with addiction to overcome it.
30 min.
Listen Now


Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is to detach from them.
30 min.  Listen Now

"Is There A Conflict Between Christianity and the Twelve Steps?"
Joe Herzanek discusses the relationship between Christianity and the 12-step program of recovery and how they are related.
30 min.  Listen Now
(Click here to read all twelve steps).

Ned Wicker.LG
Ned Wicker/Host: Recovery Now!
Addictions Chaplain
Waukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence Center
Waukesha, WI

Read Ned Wicker's article "Recovering Addiction: Wrestling With Spiritual Issues"(click here)

For a complete listing of all Joe's radio interviews click here

(Sept. 15 & 22 Recovery Now! shows, plus Joe's 60 minute interview with Berk Lewis "Next Step Radio")

Email us at:
Ask for the FREE AUDIO CD, include your name and mailing address.
Just for fun:

Joe WalshJoe Walsh
"One day at a time."

As Bob C who manages the Al-Anon Online Recovery Community Blog says,
"if Joe can get sober, your loved-one can too!"


(Listen now)
Feedback from you:

 (All feedback is posted with permission from the sender. We have changed a few details to protect their anonymity)

You don't know me, but I recently became inspired to seek positive change in my life by completely taking some advice from you that I found on a short video clip on YouTube. My husband is a drug addict, addicted to crack cocaine and marijuana. He desperately tried to keep it from me, despite even being caught using multiple times. He made me believe I was going insane. In the heartache of dealing with my loved one's addiction, I Googled "why won't he just quit" as I threw up my hands in complete surrender. Up popped your book and DVD and a short video segment. I was awestruck in how much the similarities of dealing with addiction were prevalent in my own life.

Needless to say, I took your advice of complete detachment and it made my husband recognize his addiction in his life. He admitted to it and is now seeking intensive rehab to eliminate this evil addiction that robbed me of a husband and a father to my son.

I thank God for the "serendipity" experience that I had in finding a solution when I was unsure of what to do next. I feel an anointing on your words and I am looking into getting your books to continue to help my family overcome this. Thanks. In His Hands,
~Tessa R. (Little Rock, AK)

Joe! I was just thinking of you and your wife today!!! I cannot thank you both enough. Your phone call to help me work things through with my son about 6 weeks back was truly above and beyond and I remain touched and blessed.

I will be seeing him for the first time in 8 weeks on Friday. You gave me sound advice and I am putting it to use. But mostly--knowing you care, and knowing you're out there doing what you do--means everything! God Bless you!!!  ~Marilyn O. (Pascoag, RI)

 I wish I would have looked at this sight many months ago maybe it could have saved my family and the ones that I loved for the pain and the hurt that we now must go though all over again.
~Michele M. (Orlando, FL)

I've just received my "10 Questions DVD." This tape is awesome . . . I am managing 3 recovery houses as 12-step work. In other words I am like the house dad for 3 different houses. I like this tape soooo much I am going to have our house meeting around this tape. I don't know Joe but boy can I relate to him so far . . . I can't explain the gratitude I have for you guys. Love ya both, ~Charlie V. (Independence, MO)

 "The Ten Toughest Questions?" Anyone who is "looking," "seeking" answers, or "willing" will benefit. This DVD is extremely helpful because it cuts thru the junk & spells things out short, sweet & with no-nonsense, to-the-point  input that is positively right-on and freely encouraging. You have no doubt you can get the help you so desperately need. I thank God for your good and faithful work!! Feel free to use my name. Love and blessings to you this amazing new year. ~Patsy M.(Loveland, CO)
I ordered your book because a dear friend of mine relapsed after more than 20 years of sobriety. I was at a loss as to how to deal with her issues. She's now one month sober again, and doing well, but she did hit bottom before she was able to reach out for the help that had always been there. Thanks for the very helpful insights.  We are all praying for her . . . one day at a time.  ~Sheri M. (Newberry, MI)

I wanted to share with you that my youngest son just graduated from DEN Drug Court after 5 long yrs in the system. He said it was extremely emotional for him because he's acutely aware of the pain and destruction he caused his family and himself. He's now totally free of all legal issues that he faced. I have seen a marked difference (for the positive), in his attitude and way of thinking this past year. As far as I'm concerned, "It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop". I'm so proud of him, I could burst wide open. I'm the happiest I've been in at least 15 yrs, knowing that my two sons are drug free and continue their recovery. I have so much to be thankful for and continue to pray for their well-being everyday.

I'm still very grateful to you for writing the book, "Why Don't They Just Quit", as your words were instrumental in restoring my mental health and guided me through the most difficult time I've ever experienced in my life. With gratitude and love, ~Janet P. (Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

I recently started reading your book,"Why Don't They Just Quit?"  There are things in this book that I had wondered about, but did not know how to begin to find the answers. Thank you Joe for your help, and thank God for using you and your wife, Judy to become part of my life and family.  ~Charlene R. (Portland, OR)
Issue: 9
In This Issue
"Handling the Crisis"
What If They Just Can't Quit?
Sober Living in Colorado
Recent Radio Interviews
Joe Walsh
Have You
"Tried Everything?"

Counsel for Your Situation

Tiny Joe Smile
Joe Herzanek CAP

Your situation may be unique, but it's not hopeless. I specialize in those tough, "seemingly impossible" situations. Orange Read More

(303) 775.6493

or Email:

~ Ask Joe ~

We've added even more "Ask Joe" Q&A to our revised edition of
Why Don't They Just Quit?


Should my husband "back off?"

I'm worried that he may never recover.

How can I be supportive and forgiving when I am so hurt?

Did You Miss an Issue?


Click on each title
to find:

- Q&A "ASK JOE" -

& Updated
2010 Edition
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Added material includes:
-More Q&A with Joe
 -Additional resources
-Updated material throughout


Best Self-help Book 2008
Next Generation Indie Book Awards

NIEA Finalist Award
Health Category
National Indie Excellence Awards

Helpful Links


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Al-Anon Group Finder

(Finding a group you like is similar to finding a church you like--you may have to try a few different meetings.)


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The international journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, with thousands of stories and letters from those finding a solution to alcoholism.

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*Disclaimer: The information provided in this email is for educational purposes only. The views expressed herein are those of the author only. Knowing that each person's situation is different it is very important that you meet with/consult a professional in this field before acting on any perceived advice given.
Chaplain Joe Herzanek, CAP
Changing Lives Foundation
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