July  /  August  2010
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This newsletter is PACKED with new articles, links, radio interview audio clips, new "Ask Joe" articles, book reviews and an offer for 10% off your next order (scroll all the way down).

Don't miss "We can't afford treatment: what now?" and "Relapse. It happens." Also, check out our special pricing for groups, churches, bookstores and counselors, and ask about our on-site workshops!

We hope you will keep this on your desktop to refer to from time to time when you have a moment. Please check out the new group "The Addict's Mom" and Judy's review of "Just Love Her" (also toward the bottom of this newsletter).

Whatever your situation, we pray that you will find a way to enjoy this wonderful time of the year.

Grace and peace,
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Please keep this email in your inbox to forward to someone you care about. It's an easy way to help a friend or loved-one who may be feeling very alone.
Also, feel free to share the coupon with anyone who would like to use it.

We can't afford treatment.

Click Here to view a short clip before reading article below

Does treatment have to cost a lot?
Addiction crosses all education levels-from Yale to jail. IQ has little to do with it. Some of the lucky ones recognize the problem early, swallow their pride, and seek help. The majority, though, are like me. By that I mean they have an attitude-an attitude that says, "No one is going to tell me what to do!" One person may need only a few counseling sessions. Another might need a few months in a residential setting. Many centers offer outpatient and intensive outpatient treatment as well as residential treatment.

Inpatient or residential treatment is one option, though it is the most expensive. Even at discounted rates many families cannot afford a 28- day program. However, this isn't necessary for every drug-dependent person. In fact, more than half of all recovering people didn't have the inpatient experience. As I make this point, please bear in mind that I'm not suggesting that inpatient treatment isn't beneficial. It would be wonderful if this was available to everyone; but it's not. There just aren't enough facilities for the demand. Even if there were, many people can't afford it.

Let's talk about a few other ways to begin recovery. Determining which treatment is appropriate will depend on the drugs the addict has been using, how much, for how long, and his or her level of motivation. We will start with the simplest and work our way up.

Read more. . .

This article is excerpted (pg. 101) from the 2010 revised and updated book "Why Don't They JUST QUIT? What friends and families need to know about addiction and recovery."

Video clip excerpted from"The 10 Toughest Questions Families and Friends Ask About Addiction and Recovery."

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New resource answers the most often-asked questions about addiction and recovery.

Scroll to bottom for special 10% off coupon.

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A valuable tool for those who don't have time to wade through volumes of material.
Order one for yourself, a friend or loved-one today!

Watch a short trailer of the DVD

  1. How can I tell . . . if a person is addicted or just a heavy user?
  2. How do I confront this person?
  3. How do I handle adolescent use and abuse?
  4. How do I show my love without enabling?
  5. Does treatment work?
  6. We can't afford treatment. What now?
  7. How do I handle relapse? Will this ever stop?
  8. What if they just can't quit?
  9. I've tried it all. Nothing is working. What now?
10. How do I get MY life back?

For more information and to order your copy

*To arrange for an anonymous copy of the book and/or DVD to be sent (without your return address), please email us.

"Every strike brings me closer
to the next home run.

~ Babe Ruth
Relapse. It happpens.

Is Relapse Part of Recovery?
Addiction has been called a chronic relapsing disease. Relapse is when the person in recovery chooses to try some controlled using again after attempting to remain abstinent. We know that addicts/alcoholics can't control substance use. If they could, they wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Relapse is one more failed attempt at trying to control how much they are able to use.

Using a substance occasionally and in moderation isn't a problem for social drinkers. But once someone crosses over to habitual and uncontrolled use, there is no going back. Attempts to regain control-to use alcohol or drugs socially and occasionally-are common, and these attempts lead to relapses. Statistics show that approximately 90 percent of those who complete treatment will have a relapse-sometimes referred to as a slip.

Five months after leaving treatment in April, I tried just one more time to see if I could control my using. I went out with an old friend and drank.

Read more. . . 

This article is excerpted (pg. 187) from the 2010 revised and updated book "Why Don't They JUST QUIT? What friends and families need to know about addiction and recovery."

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Recent feedback from our readers
(All feedback is posted with permission from the sender. We have changed a few details to protect their anonymity)

A brand new review from Author Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis (author of three books on addiction and also member of the Parent Advisory Board of the Partnership for a Drug-Free America).

As the author myself of 3 books on drugs and addiction I'm quite familiar with the lives of addicts and their loved ones. This book by Joe Herzanek is one of the very best by far on this subject. The book is easy to read, divided into sections so you can look for whatever topic you're most interested in and go straight to it. But you won't stop at one section or two or three; you will be compelled to read the book in its entirety.

Written by a recovering addict, the book is insightful, informative and truthful. There are so many standout sentences and phrases that it's hard to select just a few but the following really grabbed me. The book tells that addiction is primary, progressive, chronic, and fatal. It is the "chronic" part that I wish every addicted person could come to understand. "This means that the disease will always be with the addicted person. There is no cure for addiction. With the right treatment, it will go into remission, and it will stay in remission as long as the person doesn't start using again ... it's not gone; it's just not active."

Another critical part of the book that Joe exposes is the myth of "having to hit bottom." Read more. . .

Once in a while, despite our best efforts to package items effectively, one of our Free CDs will arrive at someone's mailbox damaged. We received this email from one such woman, after we sent her replacement CD, along with an additional surprise.

Dear Judy,
I ordered and received the DVD "The 10 Toughest Questions" a few weeks ago. I had watched it twice and was writing out the script (pausing and restarting the DVD every few seconds and writing down every single word Joe spoke).  I didn't want to miss anything that he had to say. When I received word from you that you were sending me a copy of it as a "sorry", I was so excited, because I knew that your gift made it possible for our daughter to have her very own copy.

We are so grateful for Joe's book, Why Don't They Just Quit, his DVD's, your newsletter, interviews, articles, and links.  These are outstanding resources for families who want to recover and be equipped to make wise, informed decisions. Your tireless efforts to come alongside hurting, devastated families is greatly appreciated. We will be able to use all this information as our whole family has become involved in this process of coming alongside.
After being exposed to reliable sources of experienced counsel and practical information such as yours, the greatest frustration for a parent and in-law is standing at a distance, waiting, and hoping that these resources will be valued and implemented by their loved ones.
--Linda S
Los Gatos, CA
Below is some great feedback from a subscriber who requested our free audio CD:
I listened to the audio CD over the weekend.  It has so much packed into it.  It reinforces all that I must know.  I am now 61 years old and I graduated with the class of '67.  In the midst of all that craziness back then, drinking and taking drugs were never a temptation or part of my world.  I've had to search as quickly and earnestly as possible in order to come up with information that will help equip me and any other members of our family who want to work together to trudge through this challenge.  The CDs are such a compliment to Joe's book, because they allow the listener to hear Joe's heart.  He is kind and firm at the same time. I plan to share the CD with others and listen to it again myself. 
--Still learning on the West Coast
And another:
In February when we became aware of our son-in-law's alcoholism, I ordered a lot of books (about 15), some suggested by Al-Anon. 
I think Joe's book does the best job of blending the moral and disease aspects of alcoholism. When we make choices that take us so far off the path of wellbeing, we need help from those who genuinely understand and are able to help us find our way back.          
You are regularly in my prayers,
--A grateful Mother-in-law
Recent Radio Interviews

Prescription Addiction Radio

Prescription Addiction Radio (Tampa Bay, Florida)
Click logo above to access radio website.
Hosted by Larry Goldbom, The Prescription Addiction Radio Show is dedicated to the thousands of families who are being or have been affected by the misuse of prescription drugs.

Listen to Joe's interview from April 25


Take 12 Radio Banner


Take 12 Recovery Radio (Portland, Oregon)
Click logo above to access radio website.
Recovery Radio and Positive Music. 12 Step Radio at its best. Broadcasting 24 hours a day for the recovery community and all
Listen to Joe's interview with Monty
May 7, 2010


Recovery Now! Logo
Listen Now!
Recovery Now Radio (Madison, Wisconsin)
Over the past couple years I have taped various radio interviews. Among these were several with a wonderful weekly show called "
Recovery Now!" Host Ned Wicker and I engage in easygoing discussions covering a multitude of topics.

Jail is Not the End of the World!
Chaplain Joe Herzanek has much experience with this topic as he has spent the last 17 years working at the Boulder County Jail helping those struggling with addiction to overcome it.
30 min.
Listen Now

Step 6: Ready to Have God Remove Defects
Joe Herzanek discusses Step 6 of the Twelve Step program: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. A subtle but very key step in recovery.
30 min. (2009 show)
Listen Now
30 min. (NEW 2010 show) Listen Now

Step 7: Humbly Asked Him to Remove Shortcomings
Joe Herzanek discusses Step 7 of the Twelve Step program: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. This step really increases the changes in a person's life as they move into recovery from addiction.
30 min. (2009 show)
Listen Now
30 min. (NEW 2010 show) Listen Now


Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is to detach from them.
30 min.  Listen Now

"Is There A Conflict Between Christianity and the Twelve Steps?"
Joe Herzanek discusses the relationship between Christianity and the 12-step program of recovery and how they are related.
30 min.  Listen Now
(Click here to read all twelve steps).

Step 12: Staying Connected
Giving back and staying connected are the key parts of the last step in the 12-Step process. How do you stay in recovery?
30 min. Listen Now
(Click here to read all twelve steps).

A Summary of All the 12 Steps
A quick review of each step and why you need each one to recover from addiction and to avoid relapse. We've gone through each of the steps now, and this time we review all with Joe Herzanek, author of "Why Don't They Just Quit?"
30 min. Listen Now
(Click here to read all twelve steps).

Why Don't They Just Quit?
Joe Herzanek discusses "Why Don't They Just Quit?" a book and DVD set he has developed to explain all aspects of drug addiction and alcoholism.
30 min. Listen Now

Ned Wicker.LG
Ned Wicker/Host: Recovery Now!
Addictions Chaplain
Waukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence Center
Waukesha, WI

Read Ned Wicker's article "Recovering Addiction: Wrestling With Spiritual Issues"(click here)


(Sept. 15 & 22 Recovery Now! shows, plus Joe's 60 minute interview with Berk Lewis "Next Step Radio")

Email us at:
Ask for the FREE AUDIO CD, include your name and mailing address.

Find us on Facebook

The Addict's Mom The Addict's Mom Logo
We've recently discovered a wonderful group of women who have started a new group. Their creativity, drive and genuine passion for the struggling moms of the world comes from their own firsthand experiences.

Please take a moment to check out their organization, tell a friend and drop them a line to express your support.

"The Addict's Mom," is a group focusing on the mothers of addicted children. The relationship between the mother and addicted child is unique  (not to diminish the experiences of other family members). This group however, is dedicated to addressing the mother's pain but more importantly, the commonalities of our experiences--thus illustrating to the grieving mother that she is not alone nor is she unique in this respect. One line posted on this site, one thought--can help change her perspective for the better.
To visit The Addict's Mom and
"Just Love Her" by Trina Hayes

Just Love Her 

I recently finished a wonderful book by Trina Hayes that I'd like to share with you. This mom retells her journey of healing through her daughter's drug addiction and recovery--a wonderful story.
~ Judy Herzanek

Visit Trina's new website: www.trinahayes.com
Issue: 8
In This Issue
We can't afford treatment. What now?
Relapse. It happens.
Recent feedback from our readers
Jail is Not the End of the World. Listen Now!
Our Facebook Page
Introducing: The Addict's Mom
Just Love Her
Ask Joe: How do I start trusting her again?
Quick Links
Special Group Pricing (50% off retail)
10% off coupon

Ask Joe
"How do I start trusting
her again?"

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Q  Dear Joe:

My daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has lied to me about just about everything for a long time and I am having trouble believing what she says now.  How do I break this cycle and start trusting her again?


A Dear Bethany,

I don't have a lot to go on here (recovering heroin addict) but I'll try. I do not know how long your daughter has been completely drug and alcohol free but if it's less than a month or more you have no reason to believe her.

I'm going to assume she is, or you strongly suspect she is-still using or you wouldn't be sending me this email.

No one recovers alone. Is she connected with a support group? Is she attending 12-Step meetings? Does she have a sponsor? Is she meeting regularly with an Addiction Counselor?

If it were my daughter I would tell her I want to be able to verify her sobriety by talking to her sponsor or counselor.

Lastly, you will know when she is truly committed to a new life of recovery. She will have a whole new attitude toward life. Between now and then be cautious, very cautious--especially when it comes to money.

A great resource is: "Parenting Teens With Love and Logic" -by Foster Cline/Jim Fay

Best regards,  

"Trust is an open door to more freedom, but it is not a revolving door.  When it is shut due to misbehavior, it isn't easily reopened. It takes time and effort to crack it open again."

~Mark Gregston

We've added even more "Ask Joe" Q&A to our revised edition of Why Don't They Just Quit?

Read more "Ask Joe" excerpts on our Blog:

Should my husband "back off?"

I'm worried that he may never recover.

How can I be supportive and forgiving when I am so hurt?

Did You Miss an Issue?


Click on each title
to find:

- Q&A "ASK JOE" -

& Updated
2010 Edition
LR WDTJQ Book on Black
Added material includes:

More Q&A with Joe
A new inspirational, real-life story
from a Colorado "addict's Mom"

Additional resources

Updated material throughout


Best Self-help Book 2008
Next Generation Indie Book Awards

NIEA Finalist Award

Health Category
National Indie Excellence Awards

All New!

Quick Links

AA Grapevine

Dad On Fire
(On fire about the impact of addiction and the need for solutions)

Nikki Tayon

Deadly, ultra-pure heroin arrives in US
(This is something that EVERYONE should read and forward to your friends)

Came to Believe Retreats

Came To Believe:
for AA, Al-Anon, NA and their families--to get well!


About Recovery

Addiction resources by state.
National helpline available
24 hours a day.


Al-Anon Logo

Al-Anon Group Finder
(Finding a group you like is kind of like finding a church you like--you may have to try a few different meetings.)

AA Grapevine

AA Grapevine
The international journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, with thousands of stories and letters from those finding a solution to alcoholism.


Big Book Online

AA Big Book Online
Complete text of "Alcoholics Anonymous" also known as "The Big Book" is available in English, French, and Spanish.

Wisdom of the Rooms

The Wisdom of the Rooms
Your favorite 12 Step Quotes and Sayings
Collected in One Place.


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Check past newsletters for many other great links.

Changing Lives Rssource Page
We've updated our resource links.

Visit our blog for:













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*Disclaimer: The information provided in this email is for educational purposes only. The views expressed herein are those of the author only. Knowing that each person's situation is different it is very important that you meet with/consult a professional in this field before acting on any perceived advice given.

Chaplain Joe Herzanek, CAP
Changing Lives Foundation
Providing families in crisis with over 30 years of real-life, hands-on experience and success.

To contact us for more info on Crisis Counseling: