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Greetings!
Will the winter of 2010 ever end? I don't know about you, but we're ready for some warm, sunny days. We do have some good news though . . . our new DVD, The 10 Toughest Questions Families and Friends Ask About Addiction and Recovery is finally completed, and available on Amazon.com (more info below). Stay tuned for further news on this DVD and related workshops very soon.
We've selected a brand new set of "Quick Links" for you to explore Did you know that you can access the whole AA Big Book online? For free? Did you know you can find an AA or Al-Anon meeting nearby with the click of a mouse? Did you know that churches all across the country are starting recovery programs?
We finally have a complete listing (with links to listen now) to all Joe's past radio interviews (with titles such as Detachment, and Jail is not the end of the world).
We've met so many wonderful, courageous people through Changing Lives. I hope you take a moment to read A Mother's Painful Lessons Learned--written by one of these special friends. I know her struggles are common to many. Join her as she shares her message of hope with you.
And last but not least, a poignant story from Julie Krow (The Haven). Discover the miracles happening for addicted moms and their babies at the Haven, Denver.
Grace and peace,
Please keep this email in your inbox to forward
to someone you care about. It's an easy way to help a friend or
loved-one who may be feeling very alone.Also, feel free to share the coupon with anyone who would like to use it.
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Never give up hope. I've been inspired over and over by the testimonies of those who have lived through the nightmare of addiction and managed to regain control of their lives. This story comes to us from a woman I recently helped coach through some very tough times. Little did I realize just how tough. I like to try to remember, "you never know just what someone might be going through . . ."
Although it was difficult for her to revisit these experiences, she did a superb job recounting the past and sharing her insights. But for the grace of God and her wise but painful decisions about how to handle Dan, she could so easily have had one more funeral to attend. ~Joe
Dan's Story: A Mother's Painful Lessons Learned
It is difficult to think back on the story of my son, Daniel, and his addiction.It is hard to experience once again the pain of that time in my life. Ido so-that I may remember more clearly the lessons I have learned and perhaps help someone else who may be facing this destructive disease.
Although Dan's father and I divorced when Dan was seven, it was in Dan's early middle school years when my family started on his painful
path of using. Perhaps Dan's use started because there was more friction between his parents, or his best friend moved away in 6th grade, or that in six months time Dan went from a little boy to looking like he was eighteen years old. It really doesn't matter how it began, the truth is Dan used because he is an addict. Read entire story
This article is excerpted (pg. 263) from the 2010 revised and updated book "Why Don't They JUST QUIT? What friends and families need to know about addiction and recovery."
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New Resource answers the most often-asked questions about addiction and recovery.
A valuable tool for those who don't have time to wade through volumes of
material. Order one for yourself, a friend or loved-one today!*
Watch a short trailer of the DVD
1. How can I tell . . . if a person is addicted or just a
heavy user?
2. How do I confront this person?
3. How do I handle adolescent use and abuse?
4. How do
I show my love without enabling?
5. Does
treatment work?
6. We
can't afford treatment. What now?
7. How do
I handle relapse? Will this ever stop?
8. What if
they just can't quit?
9. I've
tried it all. Nothing is working. What now? 10. How do I get MY life back?
For more information and to order your copy
*To arrange for an anonymous copy of the book and/or DVD to be sent (without your return address), please email us.
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"Addicts and alcoholics aren't crazy, and they can quit!"
~ Joe Herzanek
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Recent feedback from our readers (All feedback is posted with permission from the sender. We have changed a few details to protect their anonymity)
Dear Changing Lives,
I would like to thank you for publishing Why Don't They
Just QUIT? ! I currently live in Colorado. I
am 22 years old. My 19-year-old brother is battling a cocaine
addiction. He began selling cocaine out of his home in Kansas. He
was selling cocaine in order to make some extra money and to feed his
addiction. He started experimenting with drugs at the age of 16, and
alcohol before that. His drug addiction caused him to lie to and steal
from his family. Because he lived so far away and most of us rarely
talked to him we didn't really know how bad his addiction had become
until he began calling us weekly to bail him out of jail. Sometimes we
did, sometimes we didn't. He is currently in rehab, in Dodge City, KS.
After that he has to complete 24 months of intensely supervised
probation.
There is nothing in the world that prepares a family for any
of this. I knew that he had a drug problem, but I didn't think that it
had gotten to that point. I didn't know how to help, I had no idea
where to even start. Even though I knew that he had a problem I was in
no way prepared for what was to come. I had no idea that he was selling
drugs.
I would especially like to thank you for including the chapter
about and for siblings! My parents are divorced and my father lives in
Southern Colorado, I have never had a good relationship with my father.
My mom and dad have a severe miscomunication problem. Neither one of
them want to call each other do deal with all of the things that we have
to do to help my brother. Due to the fact that my parents do not
communicate with each other, I have been put in the middle to relay
messages from one to the other. This has taken a huge toll on my life
as well; my father never calls me unless he wants me to relay a message
to my mom about my brother--never calls just to ask how I am. I feel
like I have been the forgotten one.
We also have 3 step-sisters who have drug problems. They
all have several kids that are the result of the life that
the drugs have lead them down. It kills me that I have watched all 4 of
my siblings let their lives go to drugs. I have never used drugs and
don't ever want to! I do ocasionally have a drink, but rarely get drunk. I
successfully completed high school and college. My brother dropped out
of high school, and my sisters graduated from high school but never
went on to college. Well, actually they went to college but never made
it through the first semester. They now struggle to hold a job and are
on welfare--not a life that I like to see my niece and nephews live.
I truley appreciate your work, and can't thank you enough for
writing and publishing this book!!! You have touched the lives of many
people, whom you have never even met! You have a gift!
H.L. from Colorado 2.12.10
Dear Changing Lives, I ordered your book because
a dear friend of mine relapsed after more than 20 years of sobriety, and I was
at a loss as to how to deal with her issues. She is now about one month
sober again, and doing well, but she did hit bottom before she was able to reach
out for the help that had always been there. Thanks for the very helpful
insights. We are all praying for her... one day at a time.
Carol
W., Newberry, MI. 2.27.10
Dear Changing Lives, . . . the book (Why Don't They Just Quit) arrived the other day and I am
enjoying every page. I also wanted to express how much the card you
sent, urging me to 'not quit' meant to me. The timing of it's arrival
could not have been more perfect. You are touching hearts with your
work and I'm glad I found you on the internet.
Thanks again, the divine love you share makes a difference.
Blessings from New Mexico,
Lorne 3.3.10
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Listen Now! Over
the past couple years I have taped various radio interviews. Among
these were several with a wonderful weekly show called "Recovery Now!" Host Ned Wicker and I engage in easygoing discussions covering a multitude of topics.
Jail is Not the End of the World! Chaplain Joe Herzanek has much experience with this topic as he has spent the last 17 years working at the Boulder
County Jail helping those struggling with addiction to overcome it. 30 min. Listen Now
Step 6: Ready to Have God Remove Defects Joe
Herzanek discusses Step 6 of the Twelve Step program: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. A subtle but very key step in recovery. 30 min. Listen Now
Step 7: Humbly Asked Him to Remove Shortcomings Joe Herzanek discusses Step 7 of the Twelve Step program: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. This step really increases the changes in a person's life as they move into recovery from addiction. 30 min. Listen Now
Detachment: Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is to detach from them. 30 min. Listen Now
"Is There A Conflict Between Christianity and the Twelve Steps?" Joe Herzanek discusses the relationship between Christianity and the 12-step program of recovery and how they are related. 30 min. Listen Now (Click here to read all twelve steps).
Step 12: Staying Connected Giving back and staying connected are the key parts of the last step in the 12-Step process. How do you stay in recovery? 30 min. Listen Now (Click here to read all twelve steps).
A Summary of All the 12 Steps A quick review of each step and why you need each one to recover from
addiction and to avoid relapse. We've gone through each of the steps now, and this time
we review all with Joe Herzanek, author of "Why Don't They Just Quit?"
30 min. Listen Now (Click here to read all twelve steps).
Why Don't They Just Quit? Joe Herzanek discusses "Why Don't They Just Quit?" a book and DVD set he has developed to explain all aspects of drug addiction and alcoholism. 30 min. Listen Now
Ned Wicker/Host: Recovery Now! Addictions Chaplain Waukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence Center Waukesha, WI
________________________________________________________
To get A FREE AUDIO CD:
(Sept. 15 & 22 Recovery Now! shows, plus Joe's 60 minute interview with Berk Lewis "Next Step Radio")
Email us at: whydonttheyjustquit@gmail.com Ask for the FREE AUDIO CD, include your name and mailing address.
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The Haven is our all-time favorite recovery program for women.
A visit to this facility is all it takes to fall in love with the Moms,
the babies and this "incredibly successful recovery program." Click on
the links at the bottom for more info and a couple great clips.
The Window
By Julie Krow: Chief Operating Officer and Haven Director
Early in my career I was a child protection caseworker and one of my
first assignments was to investigate alleged substance use and domestic
violence in a home with three young children. I had an address for an
apartment building and wondered how I would find the family I was
looking for. As I pulled up to the apartment building I saw people
lingering on the lawn, discarded liquor bottles and trash everywhere, and a window.
There was something about that window that caught my eye.
There was a screen blowing loosely in the wind and a small child's legs
were protruding from the window. I saw tiny hands clutching a damaged
window frame. In a moment, I knew that I had located the family. Read more
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Ask Joe
Q Dear Joe:
How do I speak to someone about this? I am a long time Al-Anon but with the new laws about pot in CO my husband has a medical
certificate to "use" and is growing it on our property with hope to
sell. This is certainly not what I signed up for.
--TC, Greeley, CO
Dear TC, You are not alone. Many in your Al-Anon community are
experiencing the same thing. Switching or continuing to smoke weed is not going to help or
work. It is sure not recovery. I would stay with Al-Anon. If the current group you are
going to is not helpful then find another group. Also, get a sponsor that has a
good program and you can confide in.
Best, Joe
We've added even more "Ask Joe" Q&A to our revised edition of Why Don't They Just Quit?
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Did You Miss an Issue?
In it you will find:
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH STRESS?
HOLIDAY PROBLEMS?
- Q&A "ASK JOE" - |
All New! _________
Al-Anon Group Finder (Finding a group you like is kind of like finding a church you like--you may have to try a few different meetings.) _________
AA Grapevine The international journal of Alcoholics Anonymous,
with thousands of stories and letters from those finding a solution to alcoholism. _________
AA Big Book Online Complete text of "Alcoholics Anonymous" also known as "The Big Book" is available in English, French, and Spanish. _________
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Please
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"We can do no great things; only small things with great love."
~ Mother Teresa
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