Greetings!
Summer is here--and I've had plenty of time to gather a lot of new information for you to explore.
Since our last newsletter we have heard from some of you, been on several radio shows and once more, received recognition for our book. Again, we are offering our FREE audio CD of Joe's radio interviews (see below) while supplies last; also check out the interesting links at the bottom in our "Quick Links" section--including a handy Al-Anon group finder.
It's my personal hope that we have reached out to you and touched your life in some way--so you can help someone you care about find recovery.
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"Yes, Your Kid is Smoking Pot"
What Every Parent Needs to Know Now
by Elisabeth Wilkins, Empowering Parents Editor
"No one is immune to the disease of addiction," warns Katherine Ketcham, the coauthor of thirteen books, including "Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other Drugs--How to Recognize the Problem and What to Do About It" and the bestselling classic "Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism."
For the last eight years she has worked with addicted youth and
families at the Juvenile Justice Center in Walla Walla, Washington. She
is also the mother of three children. "I have extreme empathy for any
parent who is dealing with this in their family." Katherine understands
the difficulties families go through when dealing with addiction
firsthand. "Although I've written nine books on addiction, I didn't
know my own son was smoking marijuana until I found the pipe wrapped up
in his gym clothes. I suspected it, but didn't have proof, and I wanted
to believe he was not involved with alcohol or other drugs.
I knew
it, but ignored it because I couldn't imagine he'd do that." After
going through an inpatient treatment program, her son is currently in
recovery. During a wide-ranging interview, Katherine spoke to us about
teen marijuana use and drug addiction, and told us how parents can read
the signs and get some help for their kids-and themselves.
"Chances are, if you think
that your child has been smoking pot,
he or she probably has."
--Katherine Ketcham
Tell us
about what's going on with kids and pot right now. How has the scene
changed in the last 20 to 30 years? It's said that marijuana is more
potent now, for example. How is that affecting young people who smoke
it?
This is why marijuana is so dangerous: the research holds that of the
adolescents who enter treatment these days, the majority list
marijuana-or weed, as the kids call it, as their drug of choice.
Marijuana is a much more subtle drug than, say, alcohol. It gets them
into the culture of the drug world, which is a perilous step because it
can lead down the path to drug addiction. Read More
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 FEEDBACK FROM YOU"Joe
was so clear, direct and certain about the necessity for me to keep my
commitment to my boundaries that he helped me to follow through
when I
was unsure."
I just read
your most recent newsletter and appreciate your reminders about how to
stay sane in the insanity of active addiction in the family. I am so
grateful for Joe's answers a month ago when (my son) was in another
relapse and his choices were so painful for me to watch. I needed
someone to support me in keeping my boundaries and agreements about
what I said I would do if he started using again.
He
has been at the Christian men's recovery home for a month, as of today.
To say I have been enjoying the peace at home is quite an
understatement. I went to a church service at their church a week ago
and he looks the best I have seen him in a very long time. Since all of
his other detoxes were medically handled, he was always on some drug or
another. This time he went cold turkey; what a tough guy. It is
working for him and I am incredibly grateful.
Thanks
again for the hope, encouragement and suggestions you bring to me and
other families struggling with the pain and chaos of a using addict in
the family.
Joe
was so clear, direct and certain about the necessity for me to keep my
commitment to my boundaries that he helped me to follow through when I
was unsure. Since the result has been so positive, I will be forever
grateful to Joe for his wise counsel and his understanding of addiction.
I
am grateful today, humbled by the grace of God and inspired by Joe, and
others who bring hope and skills to those impacted by the destruction
and pain of drug abuse.
Blessings and gratitude to both of you.
--Mary (Denver, CO)
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Several years ago
we gave a couple cases of books to a local treatment center for family
members of those in the center. We included a survey in each one.
Surprisingly, these are still coming back to us! One reply arrived the other
day with some great comments:
"This book changed our life as a
couple and our whole family! It was beyond our expectations, was easy
to read and we would recommend it to our friends. We are forever
grateful."
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I have your book and highly
recommend it to anyone. I couldn't put it down when I started reading
it. I had passed it on to a friend that was going thru the same thing
with her son. Thank you for all your info.
--Carla (Marseilles, IL)
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Your book helped me find hope in a very dispairing & black
section of an already hard, hard, place in my life. I had made a very
quick, rash, & harsh judgement-call on a life situation, and the
consequences of that decision was literally killing me.
Just as Robert Louis Stevenson said,"sooner or later everyone sits
down to a banquet of consequences." I felt as though I were at a
buffet table! After much scripture reading & reading Joe's book,
I was able to ask God's forgiveness, apologize to my husband &
finally forgive myself.
Anything I can do for you would be a great blessing to me! Please let me know if you are in the area! Lot's of prayers,
--Jean S. (Jacksonville, FL)
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"Be kinder than necessary,
for everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle."
~ Chuck Swindoll
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Our Latest Review:
Perfect for Family Members
May 14, 2009
By
Kathy Ketcham "Author" (Walla Walla, Washington USA)
Family members often have nowhere to go with their concerns about
their addicted loved one. What do I do? How do I help? How do I balance
my love for my child (husband, wife, friend) and my desire to protect
them from harmful consequences with the need to do everything within my
power to get them help?
"Help" almost always means bringing the problem
into the open--asking friends and family for support, emergency room
visits, legal interventions, admitting openly and honestly what drug
use and addiction have done to your family--and most of us hide away,
hoping the problem will resolve itself over time.
But addiction is a progressive disease and over time, things will
get worse. Joe Herzanek's factual, fascinating book offers compassion
for family members, solid evidence-based information about the disease,
answers to commonly asked questions, and most important of all, a sense
that you are not alone.
As the author of several books on addiction and recovery, I know how
important it is to have solid, effective, caring, experience-based
information about drug use and addiction--especially for the scared,
tired, shamed, blamed family members. This book is an invaluable
addition to the literature on addiction. If you or someone you know
needs help, buy this book and pass it around to your friends and family
members.
Almost every family in this country is affected directly or
indirectly by drug use. We have to do everything we can to help people
understand what they are facing, using facts support by scientific
research, and fighting the stigma that keeps so many hurting people
hiding away in silence and shame.
This book is an important and essential resource for family members,
teachers, court services personnel, counselors, treatment personnel,
ministers, doctors, and anyone whose life is affected by alcohol and
other drug use/addiction.
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Free Recovery Audio CD!
Listen in your car or share with a friend or relative.
(See bottom of this block for details)
Over
the past couple years I have taped various radio interviews. Among
these were several with a wonderful weekly show called "Recovery Now!"
Host Ned Wicker and I have engaged in easygoing discussions which cover a multitude of topics. A while back Ned wrote to me:
"Thanks
so much for visiting with us yesterday. Your passion, your heart and
your vast knowledge came through so strongly. We know the listeners
will be touched by your story.
We
would very much like to have you on again in the future. There are so
many topics and hot button issues for people. You are a strong guest
and make the show so easy for us. I've done radio for over 30 years and
have been through the drudgery of "yes and no" responses. The best
radio happens when a conversation takes place. You made that happen."
Ned Wicker/Host: Recovery Now!
Addictions Chaplain
Waukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence Center
Waukesha, WI
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
NOTE: After clicking on link, scroll down to the corresponding dates:
September 15, 2008:
Joe Herzanek introduces his discussion of "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?" a
book (and DVD) he has written to explain all aspects of drug addiction
and alcoholism. He has much experience dealing with drug addiction and
alcoholism as he has spent the last 15 years working at the Boulder
County Jail helping those struggling with addiction to overcome it.
September 22, 2008:
Joe Herzanek continues his discussion . . .
November 24, 2008:
Joe Herzanek discusses Step 6 of the Twelve Step program: Were
entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. A
subtle but very key step in your recovery.
We are also waiting for Joe's shows from March 2009 to be posted. Keep checking back for--Step 12: giving back to others can help you stay in your recovery and really enjoy of full life. Also, a summary of the 12 Step program. Joe helps describe why each step is key to recovery.
Joe will be speaking on Steps 6 & 7 in July. Stay tuned!
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To get your FREE AUDIO CD:
(Sept. 15 & 22 Recovery Now! shows, plus Joe's recent 60 minute interview with Berk Lewis "Next Step Radio")
Email us:
Ask for the FREE AUDIO CD, include your name and mailing address.
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Did You Miss an Issue?
In it you will find:
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH STRESS?
HOLIDAY PROBLEMS?
- Q&A "ASK JOE" - |
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Ask Joe
Q Hi Joe:
I purchased your book in Jan. I read it from front to back several times for more than one reason. It was so full of information I wanted to make sure I absorbed it all.
My 20 year old son has just entered rehab for the 3rd time. We have tried to send him to the best places and so far have spent $30,000.00. He is addicted to Oxycontin. I had so much hope the first few times and now I am starting to realize what a stronghold this drug has on him. I am worried that he may never recover.
I am also feeling so much guilt and keep looking back to try and figure out what I could have done differently when he was growing up. I'm constantly convincing myself that if we had only been more firm with him, had more rules, if I hadn't been a working mom and put him in so many daycares, things would have ended up differently. I know that I'm just trying to find a way to ease my pain and guilt. Do you have any suggestions?
--Guilt-ridden in Minneapolis
A Sorry to hear about your son. I'll get right to the point. He doesn't need another rehab to go to; he can completely stop using pain meds if he wants to--and you didn't cause his addiction.
His age is a big issue. Most treatment places won't even take him because he's an adolescent. They have learned over the years that the success rate for treating adolescents is abysmal. He needs to feel the pain and consequences of his use.
I would use the tough love approach if it were me. Foster Kline's book, "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic" is a book you should also read.
If the "want to" is there, your son will be able to quit. Your job is to make it crystal clear to him that you love him and will help him on the journey to recovery. And you will not do anything that keeps him from growing up and becoming a mature adult.
This is a process that will take some time but needs to begin now! The longer you wait the harder it will become. He will fight this in the beginning, that's just the way it is. "Do you love your son enough to let him be mad at you?" I hope you do because that too is part of the process.
Seek some wise counsel for yourself as well.
Best regards,
Joe
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