Times are tough. Life can seem like one confusing dilemma after another. "Will I be able to pay my bills this month? How will I get to sleep tonight? Will I ever be able to retire? I have no extra money. How could I ever afford to help my friend, child, spouse quit alcohol/drugs and get their life back?"
This issue will give you some ideas for free, or low cost ways to find help, speed the recovery process and to regain your own life. Don't give up! Solutions DO exist and people recover every day.
This has been a busy Summer for Changing Lives; we have spent a lot of time helping people like you work through some tough situations. Take a moment to read below and explore some of the great links we have found.
We believe that things happen for a reason and that you are not reading this by accident. You may find that bit of information you have been searching for!
. . . and completely off the subject--you've got to check out this heartwarming true story of "Christian the Lion", an amazing display of love (scroll all the way to the bottom of this page).
Cost A Lot?
Did I grab your interest?
Sorry--this is not a free treatment center. Actually, it is not a treatment center at all. Of course, there are some that look like this, but the majority of options for recovery are much less intimidating, closer to home, and more within our financial means (some options are absolutely free).
If you are completely overwhelmed and don't know where to turn, I recommend that you begin by trying one or more of these options:Al-Anon
Al-Anon is made up of concerned family members and friends--just like you. These groups are invaluable when it comes to bonding with others who are experiencing the same struggles.AA and NA
In "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?" I devote an entire chapter to the importance of 12-Step Groups. Hundreds of thousands of people have found sobriety through these groups. No matter what method a person uses to begin recovery, the most critical component of sustained recovery is being a part of a group of "like-minded individuals".
These meetings can be found in most towns and cities worldwide and are absolutely FREE. A phone call to the local AA representative will provide you with locations and times.Speak with a counselor at a recovery center
Good, sound advice is just a phone call away. Recovery centers have trained professionals available to help you assess your situation and to steer you in the right direction.Literature
A good start would be to explore some of the links we provide on our Changing Lives Foundation website. We have chosen only resources that we feel offer proven results.
Please Note: There is a confusing array of literature available to those seeking to quit alcohol and drugs. Beware of books that promise a "miracle cure" or a way to quit "all by yourself".Faith based groups
Groups such as "Celebrate Recovery" and "Christians in Recovery" provide no-cost resources for the addict/alcoholic, as well as their family members.The Salvation ArmyClick this link
to find the Salvation Army Adult Rehab Center nearest to you.Rescue Missions
Your local Rescue Mission can provide treatment and support at a low cost and/or in return for community service. Search Google (type in "Rescue Missions") for the center nearest to you.Jail/Prison
Last but not least, if you find that your spouse, friend or loved one has landed in jail or prison, rest assured that this is NOT the end of the world
. A few days or weeks in jail may be just what this person needs in order to motivate them to make some dramatic changes in their life.
Resources for more info:
Several visits to jail were major keys in motivating our son to make dramatic changes in his life (you can read his story and how Judy and I helped to "raise his bottom" throughout "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?").Free Brochure--Options for recovery in jail
After a period of time in jail or prison a person may finally be willing to attend AA or NA meetings and do whatever it takes to begin the road to recovery (see "Quick Links" sidebar in this newsletter to download a great brochure with more info on treatment options provided through the criminal justice system
).Newspaper Article "Chaplain pushing to change lives"This recent article gives you a more comprehensive look at resources that are provided in jails/prisons as you read about some of my recent work with inmates at the Boulder County Jail (see "Quick Links" sidebar in this newsletter
).For a more in-depth description of each of these topics, and more money-saving tips, read Chapter 15 of "Why Don't They JUST QUIT" (Does Treatment Have To Cost A Lot?).
REQUEST THE BOOK FROM YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY: Please click HERE to check if your local library carries "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?"
. If not, it is simple to make a request. This costs you nothing, and makes the book available to others too! Many libraries accept suggestions by phone or e-mail. Note: please request ISBN# 9781604020786
I recently taped two radio interviews (see below link to listen) with a wonderful weekly show called "Recovery Now!" Host Ned Wicker and I engaged in an easygoing discussion which covered a multitude of topics.I truly enjoyed spending this time with Ned, his wife Debbie, and all his listeners. I'd like to share his response with you."Thanks so much for visiting with us yesterday. Your passion, your heart and your vast knowledge came through so strongly. We know the listeners will be touched by your story.We would very much like to have you on again in the future. There are so many topics and hot button issues for people. You are a strong guest and make the show so easy for us. I've done radio for over 30 years and have been through the drudgery of "yes and no" responses. The best radio happens when a conversation takes place. You made that happen.
"Ned Wicker/Host: Recovery Now!Addictions ChaplainWaukesha Memorial Hospital Lawrence CenterWaukesha, WIhttp://Drug-Addiction-Support.orghttp://Alcoholism-Support.orgCLICK HERE TO LISTEN
*NOTE: Scroll down to the bottom of the page for "Previous Programs." Start with the first show (September 15th.)September 15, 2008 Program
Joe Herzanek introduces his discussion of "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?" a
book (and DVD) he has written to explain all aspects of drug addiction
and alcoholism. He has much experience dealing with drug addiction and
alcoholism as he has spent the last 15 years working at the Boulder
County Jail helping those struggling with addiction to overcome it.September 22, 2008 Program
Joe Herzanek continues his discussion . . .*You can also get these two interviews, plus Joe's recent 60 minute interview with Berk Lewis "Next Step Radio"--on one audio CD.Email us at email@example.com for info.
Q I am reading your book again and finding that I need your words more than ever. I told you before that I wished I'd had this book several years ago when both my sons were in the midst of heavy drug use.
Here I am again in the midst of crisis with my youngest son, and am trying desperately to maintain my center and help support him in a healthy loving way, to where it's good for him and myself (Whatever that looks like).
He has recently made decisions that I didn't think were in his best interest. However, I stepped aside because I knew what he decided was completely out of my hands. He's well aware of the consequences he could possibly face. He is scheduled to go to court on the 30th in Denver.
This is harder than anything I've ever been challenged with in my life and that includes surviving cancer and my recent very difficult divorce. I will not give up hope, but I will not lose myself in the process.
Thanks for being there,
A Dear Janis,
I still believe that the tough love approach is the way to go. My suggestion is to allow the consequences of his poor choices to do the work. Offer empathy but not sympathy. As a parent who loves your child, and have always been there for him, this is extremely difficult to do--but you can do it!
If he refuses to do the hard work to recover, you should think very seriously about "detaching" from him for a significant period of time.
Another good book to read on this would be, "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic" by Jim Fay and Foster Kline.
All the Best,
Q I ordered your book and I am looking forward to reading it. I have a 17 year-old son that has a drug problem. I have had so many problems with the frustration of not knowing what to do--I have been so strong to stick to the tough love. My feelings were--ok now that I am using the tough love guidelines--what do I do next? It cannot possibly be that I have to sit and watch my son destroy his life.
As his mother, I find this to be just simply torture and extremely painful to watch. I am so looking forward to receiving your book. Thank you for starting a foundation that has reached out to many lives with similar situations. I hope that someday and even now God will open doors for me to do the same.
"Struggling to do the right thing"
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
A Dear "Struggling",
I'm sorry to hear about the tough time you're having with your son. You're not alone--if that's any comfort.
Your son has two challenging issues going on at the same time. One is--being an adolescent and the other--his substance use.
Adolescence is difficult enough for many young people all by itself. These are difficult times to be a teenager. Peer pressure is huge and kids who don't get high are often left with no social life at all.
Then, adding alcohol and drugs to that "still developing brain" creates even more problems. If you haven't already, you may want to seek some professional guidance about your specific challenge. I have a pamphlet I can send you about tough love if you will send me your address. I use it a lot and it will be helpful.
Just the same, you are dealing with a teen--a child, who is often not capable of making good decisions. It may take a while for him to connect the dots. So what is a mother to do? My book will help, but you will also need someone--a friend, counselor, church group, Al-Anon etc . . . to lean on during this period of time. Stand firm and let natural consequences do the work.
The good news is that an extremely high percentage of teens do get through it and go on to live normal lives. Sometimes it's a matter of getting them "from here to there."In America, 99% of teens arrive at the age of 21--alive and healthy.
Q I wrote to you some time ago regarding my 19 year old daughter. You kindly sent me your book and I have learned a lot from it. My daughter is still on her course of self destruction. She is passing bad checks, owes a load of money, and has been verbally abusive to the family. She has been living with her Grandmother since getting evicted from her apt. She has been missing since yesterday afternoon. She has no phone, but has a car with expired tags. As far as we know, she is not a "Jane Doe" at the hospital. Her Grandmother did report her missing to the police department this afternoon. If she was arrested, would they tell us?
"Searching for answers"
Ft. Collins, CO
A Dear "Searching",
I'm sorry to hear things are not going well with your daughter. I pray that your daughter will be arrested and soon. She more than likely will be. This can be the first step toward recovery (like being put in "time out" and forced to think about what she has been doing).
You will know if she is "getting it" or not by her attitude once she is incarcerated. FYI, the worst thing you or anyone could possibly do when you get the call saying she is in jail is to bail her out. DO NOT DO THAT.
Don't rob her of this very valuable learning experience! This can be a teachable moment. Hopefully she can spend at least a few weeks there. Be ready to discourage anyone else from rescuing her as well.
Will they call you when she is arrested? I'm not sure but someone will.
I know that to some people this may sound harsh but my job is to tell you what works and what doesn't. She will/may be very angry. This is the normal adolescent reaction.
In reality you only have two choices--start what could be a very long and expensive cycle of rescuing--or allow the consequences of her poor choices to do the work.
I know this is extremely difficult. I've had to do this myself more than once. The odds are high that she will come to her senses. Trust the process.
Hang in there,
P.S. Al-Anon can be helpful if you find a good group.
Q My 18 yr. old son detoxed from heroin in the Boulder County Jail about a month ago. He now lives with me, is on probation for his crime and is staying clean. He is going to NA meetings 3x/week. I understand addiction/recovery from a personal level although my drug of choice was not heroin. After 3 years of dealing with my son's lying, outbursts, etc. . . I am trying to establish structure and guidelines to help him stay clean and to rebuild trust. I also have told him that he can't live here if he starts using again. Any suggestions? Thanks for your help and your work. I will get a copy of your book.
"Wanting to support and not enable"
A Dear "Wanting",
It sounds like you are already doing the right things. The adolescent phase of life is tough. He'll get through this.
The NA meetings are VERY IMPORTANT! Three times per week should be a minimum. Open AA meetings are also good. You might ask him if he has a sponsor yet? Or what step is he working on? Not in a pestering way but to just let him know you care. The key to recovery is meetings, a sponsor, and working the steps.
Praise him whenever you can for his persistence in staying clean.
|Thank you for partnering with us in the battle to free those we care about from the bonds of addiction. I believe that your family and relationships can be fully restored and that you can play an important role in changing someone's life immediately.
Remember to never give up hope!
-Joe HerzanekChanging Lives FoundationChanging Lives Foundation is committed to bringing you practical
information that can be used right now, to help someone you care about
break the bonds of addiction.Disclaimer: The information
provided in this email is for educational purposes only. The views
expressed herein are those of the author only. Knowing that each
person's situation is different it is very important that you meet
with/consult a professional in this field before acting on any
perceived advice given. |
Next Generation Indie Book Awards
|"Why Don't They JUST QUIT?" has been awarded top prize in the Self Help Category (2008 Indie Book Awards).
Entries are chosen from independent authors and publishers worldwide.
Click here for more information about this life-changing book.
What people are saying about "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?"
our past newsletters, magazine articles
and press releases
(includes selected excerpts from
"Why Don't They
|to access our Newsletter
In it you will find:
RELAPSE. IT HAPPENS.
from Summer 2008
"THE DEVIL'S DRUG"
(do Meth addicts really recover?)
from Spring 2008
THE ACCIDENTAL ADDICT
from March 2008
from Feb. 2008
from Jan. 2008
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH STRESS?
from Dec. 2007
from Nov. 2007
- Q&A "ASK JOE" -
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