Greetings!
We hope this issue will prove to give hope and information to those seeking answers and solutions to help a loved-one struggling with addiction.
Recently we have successfully battled Joe's struggle with a strong infection in his thumb (story directly below). We also continue to work with families across the US via phone counseling to develop plans for addiction recovery and coping skills. Judy continues to add daily articles to our Changing Lives Blog, Drug Addiction Help Now! website and Facebook Page--to keep you up-to-date. We invite you to visit each resource if you aren't familiar with them.  Lastly, we love hearing from each and every one of you! Thanks for your feedback, support and comments. Don't miss our writeup about "Gramma Carole", who has so graciously helped us develop a wonderful new program we are calling "Pay It Forward" (scroll down). Keeping hope alive, ~ Joe & Judy Herzanek |
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| Featured Article:
Is it Okay to take Opiate Pain Medication
in Recovery?
(avoiding prescription drug addiction)
~by Joe Herzanek
(April 2011) Is it okay to take opiate pain medication during recovery? How does one avoid prescription drug addiction?
I recently had the opportunity to once again, test my own advice on prescription drug addiction and taking prescription pain medications in recovery.
I occasionally like to get away to a quiet place, be still and just listen. So about ten days ago I left to spend a few days in the desert around Moab, Utah (to kind of disconnect from the world and see what God is doing in my life).
I found a place to camp near Moab and slept in the car the first night. It was cold and windy, --no big deal. The next morning I drove to an even more secluded place where I planned to camp for two more nights. It remained cold and windy and rained off and on. I set up a tent-like shelter in the (cold and now light-rainy) new area. In the process I managed to cut my thumb. I didn't think it was any big deal--maybe a half inch long but kind of deep. I quickly drove to town, got something to clean it out, bandaged it up, and returned to the "site."
I spent the rest of the day back in the car--as the weather stayed cloudy and windy. The "stabbing of the thumb" took place at 1pm-ish. By 6pm the thumb is now swelling up and getting very painful, with "stuff" draining out of it. By the morning it was worse, so I decided to drive home and have it looked at.
After the 6-hour drive, I arrived at the emergency room and they began talking about admitting me. I thought "you've gotta be kidding". This was a one-half inch cut!! They put me on IV antibiotics immediately.
OTHER POSTS AND ARTICLES RELATED TO PRESCRIPTION PAIN MEDICATIONS:
Pain Meds Cause More Pain! The new silent epidemic.
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Twelve Signs of A Spiritual Awakening
in Al-Anon
~Author unknown
It is suggested we use the 12 Steps of AA and Al-Anon in the same way that a parachute instructor suggests that we use a parachute when we jump out of an airplane, we don't have to take the suggestions, but there are definite consequences if we don't.
TWELVE SIGNS OF A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2. Frequent attacks of smiling.
3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.
6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
7. A loss of ability to worry.
8. A loss of interest in conflict.
9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
10. A loss of interest in judging others.
11. A loss of interest in judging self.
12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.
OTHER POSTS AND ARTICLES RELATED TO AL-ANON:
The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery
Are AA, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon twelve-step meetings really important?
If Alcoholics Stop Going to AA
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The Importance of Empathy
~Dr. Charles Fay
This short article explains one of the most important (and one of our favorite) concepts. Dr. James Fay (Parenting Teens With Love and Logic) illustrates the simple approach-of showing empathy while remaining strong.
EMPATHY!
Consequences delivered with empathy create responsibility.
Consequences delivered without empathy create resentment.
So we have a choice: Will we raise responsible kids...
or resentful ones?
Will we end up in a nice nursing home or a nasty one?
Understanding why empathy is the most important skill is simple. Empathy preserves the relationship and makes it very hard for our kids to blame us for their poor decisions.
Really using sincere empathy...on a consistent basis...is the hard part! We've spent over two decades studying people who've been successful with this. What do they have in common? They use just one empathetic statement...regardless of what consequence they must provide.
That's right. They keep it simple!
They also pick one that fits their personality and culture. Some folks always precede consequences with, "That is so sad." Others prefer, "Oh, man..."
Some parents say, "What a bummer." Others prefer, "Bless your heart."
Tape this note on your bathroom mirror as a reminder.
Thanks for reading!
©2009 Jim Fay, Charles Fay, Ph.D., and Love and Logic® Institute. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic® Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065 or www.loveandlogic.com
*NEED HELP NOW? Drug Addiction Phone Counseling for Families Dealing with Substance Abuse 4 Major Advantages of Telephone Counseling with an Addiction Professional |
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"Pay it Forward"
~ by Judy Herzanek
One of the favorite parts of my job is getting to know so many wonderful, caring people. One special person, "Gramma Carole" from Bellingham, Washington, has someone she loves very much who is struggling with an addiction.
"Gramma" contacted us to thank us for our help and also to tell us her story (which will be featured in our next newsletter). She also expressed her desire to find a way to help others who are in a similar situation.
"Gramma Carole" purchased a quantity of "Why Don't They Just Quit?" books shipped to her to distribute to others as she "felt led." She also added the same quantity to her order and requested that Changing Lives do the same. Each gifted book will be thoughtfully given to someone with a genuine need.
Inserted in each book will be a custom-designed bookmark that states:
This gift to you is made possible by a generous donation from "Gramma Carole." All she asks from you--the reader, is that you take this information to heart, and find a way to "Pay if Forward" in whatever way you wish.
We currently have donors in Texas, Pennsylvania, Arkansas and Florida who are doing the same.
If you are interested in becoming a "Pay it Forward" donor, please contact us for details on discounted rates. Each shipment includes free shipping and a custom-designed bookmark included in each book with the donor's name/nickname inserted into the message.
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Our latest feedback from you:
 We are extremely thankful
to each and every one of you
for your heartfelt comments.
(All feedback is posted with permission from the sender. We have changed enough details to protect their anonymity
when requested.)
"I wholeheartedly believe that the work you are doing is invaluable. Someone that has walked in those shoes that is willing to help others that find themselves in the same situation is remarkable."
~Lynne S. (Atlanta, GA)
". . . this book is SO clear and SO compassionate. The disease of addiction is getting worse 'out there' and this book needs to be in the forefront of the arsenal of help we counselors give to both the afflicted and the affected.
As a counselor in the field of addictions, I give it an "A+++" rating!"
~Diana D.
Alcoholism & Family Counselor (PA)
"Everyone--young or old needs to read this book. After 25 years of drinking it has saved my life."
~ Craig Meek (New Philadelphia, Ohio)". . . my therapy had been helping but I still found myself searching the Internet for information about opiate addicted young adults. I found your book and read the reviews. I kept going back to the reviews and I had a gut instinct I should order it. Your book spoke volumes to me. I have made progress in raising my son's bottom. It is very hard to do but I have finally realized by reading your story that not having a car, going to jail and being hungry are things he may have to experience to get tired of the hold that drugs have over his life. I am still going to therapy and I have also attended Al-Anon a few times, but the biggest influence is your book. When I falter and feel my resolve weaken, it is like my sponsor. I open it and I read and re-read chapters to gain strength. When I question my actions I open the book to reaffirm what I am doing and why. I have told everyone who loves me and loves my son to read this book. I have read several books on codependency and your book, for whatever reason, was my "aha" moment." ~Dorothy (Fort Lauderdale, FL)
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Book, 10 Questions DVD,
Plus FREE 90-minute
Roundtable Discussion DVD
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For those who are familiar with the 12 Steps of AA, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon . . . take a moment to read this humorous but sobering scenerio.
12 Steps to Hell
 1. We decided that we could control alcohol/drugs, that our lives were manageable. 2. Came to believe that since our troubles were of our own making, we would have to solve them without outside help. 3. Made a decision to keep our will and our lives totally in our own control. 4. Quickly cast a weak flashlight over our moral history. 5. Denied to ourselves, to God and to everybody else that we had ever done anything harmful. 6. Decided that our defects of character were too much fun to give up. 7. Sang "I've Gotta Be Me." 8. Made a game of rationalizing the harm we had done to others. 9. Reasoned that no one had been hurt by us more than we had been hurt by them and called it even. 10. Slacked off on personal inventory and when we were wrong, denied or hid it. 11. Let our conscious contact with God as we understood Him lapse by praying only in emergencies for our will to be carried out. 12. Having detached ourselves spiritually as a result of ignoring these steps, we let our fellow alcoholics/addicts fend for themselves and practiced these principles sporadically. ~ Source unknown >Read more about AA, Al-Anon, and Nar-Anon: Al-Anon: The Critical Role of Al-Anon in Family Addiction Recovery Are AA, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon Twelve-Step Meetings Really Important? |
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Tried everything?
Nothing is working?
Are you at
Your wits' end?
Addiction Phone Counseling for Family Members
(click above for more info)
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Joe Herzanek/Certified Addiction Counselor
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I specialize in tough, "seemingly impossible" situations.
Phone consultations
are a simple, anonymous way
to get
expert help now . . .
from the comfort
of your home or office.
Over 30 years of real-life, hands-on experience and success, saving you money, time and unnecessary heartache.
Serving clients across the USA
READ MORE
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Did You Miss an Article? Click on each title
to find:
- Q&A "ASK JOE" -
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"Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go."
~Sylvia Robinson ____________ |
Ask Joe
Q When an adult child recognizes that he has a problem with alcohol--even has called himself an alcoholic but refuses any help--are there things that we, as the parents, can do to bring the adult child closer to getting help? Are there things to avoid saying/doing? Is there anything that really has made a difference to the user who knows there is a problem but thinks he can handle it by himself--but can't?" A There can be many variables with this question but let me give it a try. First of all, regardless of the age, most know that stopping substance use and abuse is going to be difficult. It means making many changes and most of us resist change. It's the same for a person who has found themself in a bad (very bad) marriage. Those who know the person can see how the relationship has deteriorated and so can the person--but they delay facing the inevitable. Why? Fear of the unknown. So it is with the addict. They often know, but fear of the unknown will keep then stuck. The "unknown" for the addict is-trying to imagine life without drugs and also everything AND everybody that goes along with it. What can family members or friends do about the addiction? The better question might be, what can they stop doing? Often the family will buy into the addicts belief that their situation is unique, different (which means they have a good excuse for being the way they are). Going one step further, the addict now may believe, and have those close to him believing that it's something "outside of him" that is to blame. The family needs to become educated on this topic and then move toward using some tough love. No rescuing, loaning money, bonding out of jail, paying utilities. Allow the consequences to do the work they are meant to do. Pain is a wonderful teacher. The addict will need to learn some lessons the hard way. > Read more Ask Joe |
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"Intervention by a family member, friend or employer is the way that
most people get into treatment."
~ Joe Herzanek ____________ |
We've Been Noticed!  We recently received this (below) email regarding our Changing Lives Foundation BLOG "I am writing to inform you that your blog has been featured on Paralegal Certification's list of the best of the Web's Top Alcoholics Anonymous-themed Blogs. We hand-picked a list of our favorites and outlined the unique reasons why we love them." They write: Why Don't They Just Quit?:
Anyone who feels similarly to the title of this blog would be wise to read its insights. It demonstrates how alcoholism is a correlation of manifold events and susceptibilities. To access the entire list of blogs: click here and scroll all the way to the bottom. ________________ Explore our BLOG for topics such as: Is an Addict Ever Cured?
Drug Czar Warns Against Taking "Bath Salts" Drugs
Detachment in the Real World--and The Monastery
Are AA, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon Twelve-step Meetings Really Important?
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"Every day
is not
A hot fudge sundae."
~ Dick Lane ____________ |
If you received this from a friend and want to be included, please follow the link below.
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The 12-Step
Program
in Six Words
Trust God.
Clean House.
Help Others.
~ Dr. Bob Smith ____________ |
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"Addicts and Alcoholics
aren't crazy
and they
CAN
quit!"
~ Joe Herzanek ____________ |
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