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How to Build Trust on A Team
"No quality or characteristic is more important on a team than trust."
Patrick Lencioni
Why is it so difficult for some people to admit when they are wrong? It may have to do with our concept of "self-preservation." According to the author, Patrick Lencioni, who wrote the book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, he believes that adults have a more difficult time with being vulnerable because it puts them at risk for the good of others which is not natural and may not show Immediate rewards. Such common phrases as "look out for number one" or "don't let them see you sweat" become our personal mantra and maybe something we learned from watching our parents over time.
While it is extremely important to get your own needs met at home and at work, when working on a team, you must also be willing to look out for the good of the team, as well, to be effective. The "self-preservation" type of thinking will not serve you well when their is a goal greater than yourself that requires more creativity and resources than you can acquire alone.
The most important ingredient of an effective team is trust. Without trust, the team will not be able to make the best decisions for the team or organization. The theory behind vulnerable-based trust is that people who are open to being vulnerable will not usually spend time playing politics and sabotaging the efforts of fellow co-workers or team mates. One of the ways to be vulnerable with each other is by exposing your weaknesses. The following six phrases are often used by members of a high functioning team.
- "I was wrong"
- "You are better at that than I am"
- "I need help"
- "I'm not sure"
- "I'm sorry"
- "I made a mistake"
If you are not accustom to using these phrases on a regular basis, you are not alone, but you can begin today! Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen if I try one of these phrases with my family or co-workers?" You may think that they will see you as being weak, when in fact just the opposite may happen, they will see you as being strong! Being vulnerable shows that you are human, approachable, likeable and trustworthy.
I am not advocating that you should become someone who is always using these phrases, because I have worked with individuals who use these phrases as excuses for not learning and growing. These folks are showing incompetence or are lacking self esteem. People who over-use these phrases can actually become less trusted on a team.
However, when you have the competence to help the team and the willingness to be vulnerable by using these phrases, you will be the type of team player that people will seek out to join their team.
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