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How to Overcome a Power Struggle
Part II.
"Opportunity follows struggle. It follows effort. It follows hard work. It doesn't come before."
Shelby Steele
Last week, I identified the typical responses someone can take when they are in a power struggle. Please review newsletter archive #24 for those responses. The best response to a power struggle is called Adult to Adult. This happens when a person understands their own power, feels equal to others and wants to resolve the issue by not establishing who is more powerful.
So, let's review the signs that you may be in a power struggle:
- Several people show up at your door when a problem needs to be addressed (power in numbers).
- Co-workers, employees or family members often raise their voice when talking with you (power in loudness).
- Others physically move to another part of the organization or your home after a disagreement (power by distance).
- Information is not being shared (power by withholding information).
- People divorce themselves from you by moving away or leaving your organization after a disagreement (power by distance).
- Someone brings a person of higher authority to your office to discuss a problem (power by title and influence).
- Someone brings a weapon with them when talking to you after a conflict (power by force).
Regardless if you feel others have more power than you, or others feel you have more power, here are five tips on how to handle these struggles in a more Adult way.
- Uncertain origin. You need to be open to the possibility that it is not always clear who caused the problem.
- Tenacity. You must have a belief that resolution is possible.
- Growth. You see the conflict as a way to move the relationship forward versus creating victory or defeat.
- Ask the right questions with no hidden agenda. What is the situation between us and how do we feel about it? What is the worst outcome of not resolving this struggle? What is the best outcome of resolving this struggle? What behaviors do we need to change to reach our best outcomes? You may even ask these questions of yourself before you meet with the other person to help you decide what needs to happen for a successful dialogue.
- Follow through on your commitments. This helps build trust and creates an environment of mutual respect.
Power struggles are difficult to identify and even more difficult to resolve if you choose to use the non-Adult strategies for resolution. I hope you are able to open your mind to the possibility of growing developmentally as an adult when you try these tips.
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Diane Amundson is the owner of Diane Amundson & Associates. She works with organizations that want to improve communication so they become more productive. She has been training, speaking and consulting for over nineteen years in the areas of leadership, generational diversity, team building, conflict resolution and strategic planning. She has worked with Fortune 500 Companies like General Mills and Pepsi Cola along with numerous school districts in Minnesota and Wisconsin. She has co-authored a book titled Success Strategies: A High Achiever's Guide to Success. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and has served as Adjunct Professor of Organizational Behavior at Winona State University.
She is a Rotarian that has traveled the world on humanitarian projects in Mongolia, India and Brazil.
Her style of speaking is informative and highly interactive.
Diane Amundson & Associates
Phone: (507)452-2232 Fax:(507)452-0090
24456 County Road 9 Winona, MN 55987 |
