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"How to Communicate with a Skeptic"
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."
Peter F. Drucker
In the world of interpersonal communication, understanding nonverbal cues given by others can increase your effectiveness. Whether you are communicating with a son or daughter, co-worker or boss or even a client, it is important that you look for and understand the unspoken clues that are given to you.
One of the best books I have read on the subject of body language is The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease. This book gives numerous illustrated examples of nonverbal communication and the hidden meaning behind people's gestures and expressions. But the book also warns the reader of the dangers of trying to interpret body language too broadly. I have seen this first hand when someone in my audience crosses their arms. Many times it can mean that the audience member is defensive and not agreeing with what I am saying. However, I also know that crossing their arms can mean that they are cold and trying to stay warm.
I would like to share my experience with one gesture that the Peases mention in their book and that I have found to be consistently true. This cue is called an evaluation gesture. 
If you look at this image, the man has his index finger
alongside his cheek pointing upward and his thumb
is supporting his chin and head This means that he is having negative or critical thoughts about what is being said. The longer he holds this gesture, the longer his
critical thoughts will remain.
So how do I make sure this is true? When I see a friend,
family member or client use this gesture, it is a signal that I need to stop talking and draw them into my conversation. I may even ask them for feedback at this point to have them vocalize their concerns. It is amazing how many times I have uncovered objections by asking questions when I see this gesture. Often the person showing the gesture is surprised to know that his feelings are so visible.
Nonverbal communication can often tell us more about how a person is thinking and feeling than the actual words they use. When you become knowledgeable about the evaluation gesture, you can begin to change your message for increased effectiveness. | 
