It's at about this time each December that I start to panic about the gifts. Shouldn't matter, I understand, but to me it does. I love giving the very most perfect thing, and especially surprises. Here are some of the most unexpected and meaningful gifts I've received, and one I've given. I hope they'll help remind you and me how to give what's important to our special people this year.
When it needs to say, "I care about your life."
We had just moved from Dallas to the Austin area when I learned I was pregnant with our first child, and I was horribly lonely to share this strange and wondrous new experience with someone I trusted. On my birthday, friends Angie and Gaynell just SHOWED UP at our door (had conspired with my husband and flown in for the day) to talk about babies and how to have them. Can you imagine anything so wonderfully nice? They're like that.
When it needs to say, "I like you, even when you're not at your best."
I found out that I have multiple sclerosis a few weeks after our second child was born. It was rough news that I didn't want to face, so between raging bouts of self-pity, I kind of stuck my head in the sand. When I finally told the news to girlfriend Monica, she went out and bought a book about MS, read the whole thing (she's not a reader), and -- best of all -- highlighted the most informative and encouraging parts before casually giving it to me. When I was ready to talk, she didn't cry or freak out, but was prepared with real information. I still can't believe she did that for me.
When it needs to say, "You are included."
It's hard to keep good secret, but again, I love a surprise. When I was pregnant with our second child, I painted an ornament to deliver the news, then hung it on the tree Christmas morning for my parents to find. It said, "Another Star in 2000." It took them awhile to get the riddle, but WOW, what a squealing ruckus when they did! That little $3 wooden star from Hobby Lobby still rates a place of prominence on their tree.
When it needs to say, "You are worth the effort."
Crazy brother-in-law Eric practically mandated the new 'Homemade Mystery Gift' tradition, and I'm still impressed he closed the deal on our otherwise stodgy, non-competitive group. Despite frequent lamentations over the forethought and work involved, it's everyone's most anticipated and fondly remembered part of the holiday.
In short, we draw names and must MAKE (as in NOT JUST GO OUT AND BUY) a gift for our chosen person. It's all very secretive and usually done in a last-minute, panicked rush. But the final gift reveal is THE BEST PART OF CHRISTMAS, EVERY TIME.
Here are some highlights:
- MeMaw knits constantly. But last year it was Grandpa who learned how to knit IN SECRET and made a (very handsome and wooly) man-scarf for his eldest grandchild. Neither of them can stop bragging about this.
- The bicycle ramp expertly designed and fashioned on the sly in our icy garage, then surreptitiously transported to the reveal, complete with shiny red bow.
- The cheesecake made entirely by a cooking-resistant eleven-year-old for his snooty teenaged brother. There were happy tears.
And if you just want your gift to say a simple, "I love you," then take a breath, look your person in straight in the eye and say, "I love you," and leave it at that. If we're lucky, they might even regift.
I hope you have a wonderful and joyous December.
_______
Sad memories and old resentments can make for a miserable holiday. None of us WANTS to feel bad, especially when everyone around us seems full of good cheer, so how do we let it go?
I believe one of the best gifts you can give yourself this season is forgiveness. When our hearts are freed from nagging offenses and wrongs, we can focus on happiness, and are much better prepared to share it with our loved ones.
If that sounds good to you, then join me for this month's LifeInspired free group coaching session on "How To Forgive" (see sidebar). We always have a good time, you don't have to talk and you'll come away with a personalized plan for letting go of the bitterness and choosing joy.
