I have a seventh grader who's burning the candle at both ends, poor baby. You know how it is: six classes plus football and band and scouts, then there's the new technology-at-school craziness (don't ask what I think about homework on iPads).
Two weeks into school and he got sick (not surprising, right?) and missed three days.
So now he's got to get caught up AND keep up with everything else. And get ten hours sleep and eat and bathe and grow, and still be kind and respectful and do his chores, and. . . he's kind of falling apart. We talked about it just this morning.
I told him, "You know, middle school is when you start making some grown up choices. The thing you have to understand is that no one can do everything perfectly all the time. At least no one I know. You have to pick what matters to you most, do your best at it, let go of the rest and decide that it's enough."
Do I mean that? Really?
Is it ok to let some things go for the sake of having personal peace? Will I accept a C on his report card? A middle-of-the-road standing in the drumline? A so-so performance at Tuesday's scrimmage? Will I "accept a C" in my own life?
Which is better, to run ourselves into the ground in order to "succeed" or to choose to be happy with a little less? Or is that just an excuse for laziness?
Emotional stress is a lot like physical exercise. In moderation, it's healthy and motivating. Having the discipline to persist -- meeting deadlines, studying for tests, paying our bills -- brings structure, accomplishment and forward movement to life.
But when we have pain in our bodies, it's a signal that something is wrong and needs attention. We have to stop and attend to the broken bone or flu symptoms to make the pain go away.
Similarly, when we're overwhelmed by stress, it's our brain's signal that we need to slow down and sort out the specifics of what's wrong. Instead, many of us "buckle down," add more to our plate and grit our teeth, determined to work harder.
If you struggle to understand and manage the stress in your life, or just want to learn some techniques for bringing more peace and calm to your day, I hope you'll join me for this month's LifeInspired workshop (see sidebar). And bring a stressed out friend! We always have a good time.
