"Action expresses priorities."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Don't you wish you could make that one change, and move beyond that problem that hangs in your conscience -- the one that nags you in the night? It's that constant weight you feel holding you down from being who you want or need to be for yourself and your family.
And ugh, it's heavy.
If you have a burden like this on your heart, I believe you also have an instinct on what can be done to get rid of it. Better than your room mate, your spouse, your best friend, mom -- even your life coach! ;) -- you know how to find relief and what has been keeping you from it.
But how do we cut through the clutter of everyday life, its demanding schedules and responsibilities, and find a space where we can take steps toward real change? How do we move beyond wishful thinking and good intentions into action?
Sometimes it takes fear. And the truth.
Consider this:
What will happen if you DON'T make a change?
This week, maybe not a whole lot. But next week, next month, next year maybe. . .
- insurmountable debt
- an STD or unwanted pregnancy
- more of that mind-numbing, dead-end job
- a strained or fractured relationship with your children
- lung cancer
- an empty spiritual life
- growing acrimony and possible divorce
- another ten pounds
What is it for you?
The raw images of what might be are so uncomfortable, we often just brush them aside, bottle them up. (Because maybe this problem will fix itself, right?) For most of us, even the best-concealed problems find a way to haunt our early waking hours and rattle our chain.
"Hey Genius," they whisper, "This is going to be you. This is your future. Nice work."
If you feel adrift, paralyzed by circumstance, as though "life is living you" then try this exercise to move into action.
1. Go somewhere that you can be completely alone in silence for 20-30 minutes. Turn off the tv and computer, and leave your cellphone in another room with the ringer turned off. (I know it's hard for some of us to be disconnected. I feel that way too. This is worth it. It's just for a little while and you can do it.)
2. Commit that in this time, you will be completely honest with yourself. No one else has to know what you think about or decide right now. This moment is yours alone.
3. If you believe in a higher power, start by asking for clarity, understanding and wisdom.
4. Now, write out your answers to these questions.
- Where will my life be in one month if I don't do what needs to be done about this problem?
- Where will my life be in one year if I don't do what needs to be done?
- Where will my life be in five years if I don't do what needs to be done?
- What is the first thing that I know needs to be done?
- What step toward that "first thing" will I commit to taking THIS WEEK?
Keep in mind, this is NOT the time to beat yourself up or dwell in self-loathing. This is about (a) telling yourself the truth and (b) choosing the change that you know you need in order to build a better life.
If this exercise works for you, I hope you will commit to doing it again next week. And be kind to yourself; change takes practice.
Please let me know of your progress at pennyrackley@mac.com. I would love to hear from you.
- Penny
