You wake up too early and just can't go back to sleep. That's when the dark thoughts creep in.
"Ugh. Why am I such a loser? I should never have tried for that new job. I'm so stupid - now there's no undoing it. I make terrible decisions. I'll never get ahead."
Resentful. Angry. Sad. Defeated.
These poisonous judgments can overtake us in an instant, and then set the tone for a miserable day.
When you feel yourself going down an unproductive path of self-bashing, try this.
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1. First, learn to catch yourself before things go too far. Examine your thoughts and ask, "Is this constructive criticism? Is it helpful to me? Am I looking for answers/solutions or just punishing myself again?"
2. Then start a list of "lifters" (maybe on the Notes page of your phone?) and add to it when you think of something that never fails to make you feel good.
(Some of mine are: memories of happy babies, having lunch with someone really funny, a visit to the Arboretum in spring, learning a new song on the piano. Goofy, I know! That's me.)
Of course, yours will be unique to you. Make them good. These are your silver bullets - memories or mental pictures that release the pressure and make your heart light.
3. Choose something from the list that seems right for the moment and dwell on it. Get your mind as far down into the memory as you can. Re-live every detail, and feel that wonderful feeling all over again. Then allow this experience to set the tone of your day. If you're so inclined, call it a
meditation.
Simplistic? Maybe. But this exercise builds emotional resilience and control, and allows you to enter the day with power and joy.
If you are laboring under a shadow of discouragement, give this a try every day just for a week. If it doesn't serve you, let it go. And if you get a chance, please email me and let me know how this worked for you. I'd love to hear.
