Who is the wisest person you know? Whose insights do you seek out when you're troubled? Who can you count on to understand your challenges and guide you through the tough times? My hope is that, above the opinions and advice of all other people, you trust your own hard-earned life experience and good judgment.
Listening to our own wisdom and learning to trust it takes practice. When we're too busy to reflect on our lives, or unwilling to be still and acknowledge what we know to be true, things turn to confusion, chaos, doubt, and even self-sabotage.
We trust people who are "clear-headed," whose perspective seems calm, balanced and focused. So how can we achieve this balance for ourselves? Try these exercises to remember and strengthen your own wisdom.
Seize the Morning - Do you regularly wake up too early and stare at the ceiling, then fret over the coming day? Many of us do, sometime around three or four AM. If your busy brain won't let you fall back to sleep, try using this time for creativity and constructive reflection.
Sit up and listen to what's on your mind. If it's a nagging problem, use this quiet time to make a list of some real possibilities for a solution. Think each possibility through to the end, writing out the details. If you're pondering a new project, draw it out and daydream a little, while your thoughts are relaxed and uncluttered by emails or the demands of others. Stay away from the computer and your phone. Take this time to think your own thoughts and flex your imagination.
Make Room - Do you live in a constant state of disarray, surrounded by unfinished business? Overwhelmed, disorganized people can have a difficult time getting through to their innermost thoughts; there's just too much "congestion" around them to get clear on how they feel and what they think.
Bottom line: Physical chaos creates emotional confusion and anxiety. I know it sounds mundane, but removing the clutter out of your surroundings can make for a sharper view of your inner life. Try restoring order to the areas where you spend the most time -- your desk, the area around your bed, the kitchen -- and see if you find more a peaceful path to your thoughts.
Slow Down - Are you in too much of a hurry to "hear yourself think?" Are the events of your life rolling in like unexpected thunderstorms, with no warning or forethought?
As adults, much of what we do with our time is in response to others' needs and expectations -- our children, spouse, boss, parents. Attending to immediate responsibilities and "putting out fires" is part of life.
But if we are going to know our own minds and trust our thoughts, we must take time -- alone and away from distractions -- to hear them. I understand that finding uninterrupted time is a challenge, but you can make it happen now and again if you want to.
Try listening during your daily commute, or a weekly coffee date with yourself or a morning mediation; any of these will suffice as long as they work for your life.
If you are too busy to be still, you are narrowing your awareness of your own heart and mind. That's how many of us end up with lives we never expect or intend.
I'll end with this note of encouragement: You have collected information, experience and wisdom for and about your life every single day that you've been alive. Please don't ignore these hard-earned truths. If you will take the time and effort to examine what you feel and know, you will be equipped to understand your life and its meaning better than any other human.
