Case in point: At the end of my formal coach training, a marketing expert was brought in to encourage our fledgling businesses. Over several weeks we learned about newsletters (like this one), how to set up a website, partnering with likeminded service providers - all very smart and helpful tactics. 

Then he told us that the single most effective marketing tool we could employ was public speaking, because it allows people to gauge the speakers' trustworthiness and ability to connect - a risk-free way for potential clients to judge me as a coach, and determine whether or not we might be a good "fit." 

I remember so clearly thinking, "He's right. That's a great idea." And immediately thereafter deciding, "I will never, ever in a million years do that."

Like many of you, I'd spent the entirety of elementary, middle and high school, and of course college, doing anything to avoid standing up in front of people, much less talking at groups of them. 

Ugh. Just NO.

I tabled the speaking idea and instead focused on the other elements of his plan, all along knowing I didn't have the courage to do what really needed to be done. 

I needed to be imperfect in front of people. They would hear me stutter and search, judge my outfit, guess my age and weight. The colossal embarrassment played out in my imagination again and again. 

Then a trusted friend came to me, and convinced me to try it just once. 

I was terrified. And the first time (okay, the first few times) I spoke, I made LOTS of mistakes, even lost my place a little. Another trusted friend agreed to give me some honest feedback. I needed to speak more loudly when the air conditioner came on. Look people in the eyes. 

"Anything else?" I was nauseous, ready for more bad news. 

"No. Other than that you did great. I like the part when you talked about our memories of feeling successful. I needed that because..." and she went on to tell about her life and struggles. 

A few days later, a woman from the audience approached me to talk about what I'd said. (Oh dear, here it comes.) 

Do you know that nothing she said was about ME? No one cared ANYTHING about what I wore or my wrinkles or whether or not I scrambled a sentence or had to take a few seconds extra to gather my thoughts. 

They cared about their own lives and what I had to say that might help them feel better, give them hope. 

Understand, I still get nervous before speaking, whether it's to an audience of three or thirty. But it's one of the happiest surprises of my adult life -- I love presenting to an audience every single time, because I can see and feel in their faces and responses how they are touched, how they are helped. Completely exhilarating! 

My point: If I'd allowed the oppressor of perfectionism to stay in charge, I'd never have had this singular joy.

It is so easy to allow self-perceived flaws to dissuade us from doing fun, exciting, even great things. Please don't let it happen to you.

If you are holding off on the rest or the best of your life for fear of making a mistake, or just looking less than perfect, I hope you'll come out to my next free group coaching session at Inspire Yoga Studio (see sidebar). 

You'll come away understanding which of your personal standards are pushing you forward to success, and which ones are holding you back.

You might even see me stutter. :)