To me, words really matter. It's crazy, but if you've ever sent me a card/letter/note/email of appreciation -- especially one that's personal or specific -- I probably still have it. A sincere spoken or written 'thank you' is totally IT in my book.
Recently, one of my clients gave me a Thanks that I'll never forget. When I need a lift, I examine the details of it like a beautiful piece of jewelry.
"Donna" had come to me months ago, weighing a difficult family decision. Her long-estranged sister "Peggy" was in the advanced stages of cancer, and -- although they were barely acquaintances and in no way close -- Donna was expected to spend significant money and time and quite a bit of personal inconvenience to visit Peggy before her passing.
Unrealistic and misplaced family expectations, the expense and trouble of cross-country travel, the probability of some harsh words with other relatives, the whole THING was sticking in her craw.
So we talked things through, weighed her options, examined what she wants for her life going forward, and she made the choice to go and see Peggy -- to acknowledge their fragile connection, to avoid family conflict, but most importantly to be the thoughtful, generous, strong person she wants to be here and now. Yes, she was unhappy with the overall circumstances, but happy and maybe even a little proud of her eventual choice. I didn't really hear much about it after that.
Then a few weeks ago, Donna and I ended up in the same yoga class. I don't ask about or refer to clients' issues in public, but she walked across the room and took me by the arms, tears standing in her eyes. Her face was glowing.
"Peggy passed away this week." I didn't know what to say, so I nodded.
"She's gone, and I'm sad that she's gone, but I'm so glad I went to see her before she passed. She and I really connected in that visit, and I actually enjoyed seeing her! I would be a wreck now if I hadn't made the trip. I'd never have known what a beautiful person she really was."
"Our talk made all the difference. I had to tell you, thank you. Thank you so much." Donna is not much of a crier or a hugger, but that day, I got both.
Of course, I try and hope and want to help my clients, but to hear her say it, so heartfelt and genuine, unsolicited and unexpected, truly it was as though she'd shot a healing vitamin straight into my heart.
Just as in your life and work, I have plenty of disappointments, setbacks, false starts, reasons to quit. That little three-minute interlude with Donna, only a few sentences really, is a treasured page in my mental scrapbook of reasons why I coach.
Recalling it now, I'm encouraged all over again by her gratitude. I guess you could say I'm grateful for it.
If there is someone in your life who you could thank, who maybe doesn't know what they've done for you, or how they've contributed to the betterment of your life, please tell them this month. And make it easy on yourself! Tell them in the way that comes most naturally to you. I like words because that's my thing, but maybe instead you give a small gift, or devote a couple of hours to being alone with them, or wash their car.
Whatever you choose, make it genuine, make it heartfelt, but make it happen. You'll thank yourself for it.