How do you decide what rates your time and attention these days? Everywhere, it's snatched away -- TV waiting room screens demand, "Hey, look at THIS," emails harangue our attendance at the mandatory volunteer meeting, even the backs of airplane seats feature video entertainment tentacles, reaching out to ensnare what we thought would be a few moments of quiet.
No wonder it's so difficult to focus, to know what to look at now/what to do next/where to put our energy and time and resources. Sometimes it's all just too much.
I can think of precious few times when I've felt free of this urgency.
The first was when I nursed my babies. For anyone with similar experience, you know that during a feeding there's really nothing to be done but sit still and wonder at the quiet magnificence of your child. It's a time of forced, blessed peace. Of course, that was a while back for me, and I suppose now new mothers can text and email from the rocking chair.
Another was in the hospital with one of my children. I was a freelance technical writer at the time and had clients drumming the table for their projects. Then there were concerned relatives who needed updates, a dirty house, bills in the mailbox, you can imagine. You've been somewhere similar. But right then, all that really mattered was that I was fully present and available for my son. Everything else could wait or fall away.
And just now, as I type these words, my mother called wanting to talk about flowers. It's Spring! That's her yard in the picture above -- can you believe?! It gives her such joy and satisfaction, the irises and peonies and redbuds and roses, and maybe just as much getting to strategize and debate their care and arrangement. Worthy of a long conversation, getting to share in her happiness and wisdom, even if I'm in a hurry to get this article out the door, don't you think?
There is a certain peace that comes with knowing exactly what needs to be done, and focusing on it no matter what other tempests are otherwise raging. When have you felt this same unclouded focus? Perhaps the week before your dissertation was due, or the day you proposed marriage, or delivered your grandfather's eulogy.
If you need a respite from the confusion and upset of a recent loss or trauma, or just from the harried demands of daily life, I hope you'll consider attending my next free group coaching session (see sidebar). I can't take away all your heartache, chores or obligations, but together we'll find you an oasis, a private shelter from your own personal storm.
