It's gratitude time. This season encourages us to be thankful for our abundant lives.  It's become a time when we  throw out our sensibilities and over-consume, as if being abundant isn't enough.This time encourages consumption, whether it is food or plastic crap from China.  But, let's not go there.  

One of my previous articles, that you can see here, talked about the benefits, and there are many, of merely saying "thank you."  Here's a bit:

Saying thank you is a way of conveying gratitude and there's been lots of research on its power. Studies have suggested that maintaining an attitude of gratitude can improve psychological, emotional and physical well-being.  Moreover, those that feel grateful have more energy, are more optimistic, have more social connections and are happier.  Want more?  Want to earn more money, sleep better, exercise more regularly and fight off colds?  Find a sense of gratitude.

On the end of each "thank you" there's the obligatory "you're welcome".  Sometimes, sometimes not.  Often it's just a nod or uh-huh or a sundry of 4 letter words, depending.  The Spanish speaking world say con placer or "with pleasure" or de nada or "it's nothing".

Adam Grant, Wharton professor and author of Give and Take, added some interest to the thank you response.  Grant offers comments by Robert Cialdini, author of Influence, who feels the thank you/you're welcome sets up a bit of a power play, tipping the power to the giver.  He suggests that In order to capitalize on this changed relationship, a response like "I know you'd do the same for me" is appropriate. This response offers the following:

1.  It conveys a relationship where we are comfortable asking for and receiving help and not keeping score.

2.  It communicates confidence that you're the kind of person that offers help when asked.

3.  A reciprocity is established, setting up a bit of obligation on the taker.

What about "You're welcome--I was happy to do it.  I know you'd do the same for me"?  Does that feel better?  Is it too much dialogue?  Awkward?  Again, it suggests a kind of relationship between the parties.  

Adam Rifkin, named Fortune's best networker, adds a twist. Instead of suggesting you'd do the same for him, he widens the circle and says "I know you'd do the same for someone else".  Ah, now we're talking.  It implies that they are the kind of person that would help others.  Maybe it's a bit of a nudge, but it sets up an obligation to help others--a bit of a pay it forward.

From the article:  "Rifkin is more concerned about people paying it forward than paying it back.  In his view, every favor that he does is an opportunity to encourage other people to act more generously. That way, a broader range of people can benefit from his contributions".