MMM: On Taking Dominion

"No man is ever whipped until he quits in his own mind." ~Napoleon Hill

Last week, in response to the Memo "On Going It Alone", a woman wrote to me that she had been training for the Camp Pendleton Mud Run. The week before the race she found out that everyone she had been training with dropped out due to injuries, work schedules or simply giving up. She made the decision that she would go anyway.

This wasn't just a run in a local neighborhood. It wasn't even in her state. She had to get on a plane, go to another state, rent a car, drive to another city and compete in a 10k race/obstacle course on a marine base on her own, without the team she'd been training with for 5 months.

But she planned on going anyway because she wanted to "see what she was made of."

Isn't this why we challenge ourselves to do anything? We want to know that we can?

It's not that doubt doesn't creep in and we wonder, "but can I, really?"

It's that we don't really know until we find out. And finding out is the fun part.

I love Martha Grimes saying "We don't know who we are until we see what we can do".

While I was training with this group of 50 on Sunday, we ended up in smaller groups broken up into those who run a faster pace and those who don't. I was in the latter. Anyway, I ended up running with these two gals, I would put in their late 50's. One of them talked about how she signed up for a 26 mile marathon to prove to herself that in her 50's she could still do anything she put her mind to. This was the first marathon she ran in her life!

She said, "My husband is still at home sleeping. He's a couch potato and so am I. But I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something like this and I did. That was a couple years ago. And now I want to do it again."

So, my new friend Terry is training for a 13 mile fun in October and then is going to continue to do a 26 mile marathon next January.

This is not a woman who is in tip top shape. This is not a woman who has been running her entire life. This is a woman who is determined to prove something to herself.

I asked her, "It doesn't just take physical stamina, it takes mental stamina, too. How did you do it?"

She told me that when she looked at it in its entirety she didn't think she could do it. But then she told herself that she just needed to put one foot in front of the other and in doing that, she would find her way to the finish line. And she did.

It sounds so simple, right? Just put one foot in front of the other and you'll get to the other side.

We know this, but how do we keep going when our mind tells us to stop, that we don't have to continue, that this is all silly business and what were we thinking, anyway?

I like challenges like this because it is precisely this kind of thinking that I like to confront.

It begs the question: "Who takes dominion over my life, anyway?"

And this is why I like to take on challenges. Like flexing a new muscle, it always takes a bit of tenacity to move against lethargy. It's much easier to push the snooze button, wait another day, tell ourselves "next time" and stay away from the challenge.

But there is something satisfying when you can take something on that you are totally unsure about and see it through to the end. Not because you need to prove anything to anybody, but simply to know that you could do it. To build trust in yourself, in your own word, in your own determination.

And this is something that you can take with you, until the next time. You will have proved something to yourself. Except it will be easier next time because you will have had one under your belt to prove it, something you have done that you didn't know you could do.
You will know what it's like to take dominion over your own thoughts and actions. And you will know how to persevere.

So, why not?

When the thought entered my mind: "You don't really have to do this, you know. . . " I answered it with, "I know I don't. Really, I know I don't. But I signed up to see if I could. I paid for this. I joined the group to help me get there. And if for nothing else, I will do it because I said I would."

"We're doing this," I told myself.

Been too afraid to start something new? Been avoiding a challenge? Been wanting to quit? Step out of your comfort zone and give yourself the pleasure to discover who you are and to see what you've got. Take dominion over your life.

Because you're the only one who can.