LOVE: THE INTENTION
"Did that come from love?" During one of her lectures, Marianne Williamson stated "The problem is not whether or not you were intending to hurt me. The problem is whether or not you were intending to love me". Chances are that if we have ever hurt or been hurt by someone, in that singular moment the focus and intention was not squarely placed in Love. Love begins with the willingness and the intention to be loving; with the active thought and consciousness of making the expression of love our priority.
LOVE: THE CHOICE
Following the intention to love, is the choice of acting from love versus acting from fear, of choosing joining versus choosing separation. In Gerald Jampolsky's book Change Your Mind, Change Your Life, he writes:
One of the most important questions
We can ask ourselves
Each second of every day is,
Will this thought,
Will these words,
Will this action,
Bring about joining
Or separation?
Imagine the difference that it would make if before each action, or reaction, we did stop and took the time to ask ourselves whether our intention is to be right or to be loving - what would we choose?
LOVE: THE VERB
There is no neutrality in love. Our actions are either contributing to or contaminating our relationships. While the feeling of love fuels our hearts and passions, it is our actions, the expression of that love, which truly defines the quality of our lives and our relationships. Loving is never passive. It is conscious and active. It is in every look, movement, tone, caress, and interaction with the people in our lives whom we say we love.
LOVE: THE SKILL
There is a skill set to loving. It is not enough to have the feelings of love, nor the intention, nor choice; we must learn how to be more loving. Without the skill set of loving we are apt to hurt the people we love. Learning how to love means having the willingness to treat the people we love with compassion, kindness, and respect, regardless of how upset we may be. It is having the willingness to forgive, and to take responsibility for our part in any disagreement. It means refusing to belittle, criticize, and hurt another, even when that is what our self-righteous indignation urges us to do. The skill of loving means having the willingness to truly listen, to seek to understand, and the openness to communicate our most vulnerable thoughts and feelings. It means adopting a zero-tolerance policy to any form of name calling. Most of all, it means endeavoring to create a safe emotional environment where it is okay to be truly ourselves and make mistakes. The skill of Love is in the little things we do and say each day to let the people in our lives know exactly how we feel and what they mean to us.
LOVE: THE ART (TO PERFECT OUR LOVING)
There is no greater art form than Love. And like every form and expression of art, Love will never be completely mastered or perfected. Therein lays the art of it, in our desire and willingness to grow every day in our ability to be more loving, to open our hearts to love, and to perfect our expression of love towards ourselves and others - this is our ultimate purpose.
May you grow every day in your ability to feel and express Love.
After all, all you need is Love. Capital L, o, v, e.
