A Franciscan nun by the name of Sister Maria Luz was my first-grade religion teacher at San Conrado Catholic School. I adored her and she rewarded me by allowing me to be her pet. My desk was front and center facing hers and I would sit with the stiff and alert rigidity of the best US Army soldier. It was from her, at the early age of six, that I learned the concept of original sin.
In Catholicism, there is no escaping that we come into this existence carrying the burden of guilt. I learned to beat my tiny chest with the fist of my left hand and say mea culpa, mea culpa, which is Latin for "my fault, my fault." Our court of law in the United States tells us that we are presumed innocent until proven guilty. My religious upbringing taught me that we are presumed sinful and guilty, period.
Regardless of what religious or spiritual formation we may have, it is a psychological certainty that we all carry shaming thoughts of some kind or another. Our brains are built to latch-on to thoughts of self-blame and toxic shame. We are incessant in judging ourselves as bad, ugly, unworthy, unlovable, fat, thin, stupid, old... the list is endless. Some of us find it a lot easier to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving with others, yet struggle to do so with ourselves. We perceive ourselves as unforgivable, not realizing just how arrogant it is to presume that everyone else is worthy of forgiveness but us. Yes, it is a form of arrogance to assume that other people deserve forgiveness but we do not.
You deserve your own forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is the process of wrapping yourself in the energy of love. The process begins with the willingness to see the pure innocence that lies beyond guilt, to feel released from the shackles of self-criticism, and with your willingness to believe that you are worthy of your own light.
The act of forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful and transformational tools you have for accessing inner peace, healing, compassion, acceptance, and kindness. Self-forgiveness is freedom; it is the only way in which you free yourself to live the life of your Authentic Self.
CALL TO ACTION
1. Personal growth begins with the decision and willingness to heal. Begin this week with the decision to let go of the charges you've been holding against yourself. Be willing to extend grace and love to yourself. Be willing to accept that you are worthy of forgiveness.
2. Place both hands over your heart and say: "I forgive myself for judging myself as __________________________." Say this sentence stem for each judgment that comes up for you to forgive. Continue offering yourself compassionate self-forgiveness until you feel a release in your heart - a lightening of the burden that you've been carrying in your own consciousness. Note that it is important to avoid saying "for being" in the sentence stem since "being" re-affirms the existence of the very thing we are forgiving.
3. Persist in offering forgiveness to yourself.
"You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely."
- William P. Young, The Shack
The path to love is through forgiveness. Let self-forgiveness erase the burden of your self-judgments and open your heart to the Divine perfection that is already in your heart.
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© Frankie Waldo Perez, MindGym, LLC
