Whatever else you have on your mind,
Wherever else you think you're going, Stop for a moment and
look where you are:
You Have Arrived!
I believe in you.
You deserve to be healthy.
You deserve to be kind to yourself.
You deserve to achieve your greatest level of success with weight loss surgery when you harness your inner resources.
5 Day Pouch Test Owner's Manual
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Techniques to Beat the Guilt:
Saying No to External Requests
In "The Disease to Please" by Dr. Harriet B. Braiker she writes, "There are five steps necessary to break your automatic yes-saying habit. When faced with any request, invitation or other type of demand from another person you can replace your ingrained habit of immediately saying "yes" with the following sequence of actions:"
1. Delay giving an immediate response by buying time
2. Identify your options
3. Forecast the likely consequences of each option
4. Select the best option
5. Respond to the request/invitation/demand firmly and directly by exercising your choice to:
a. Say no
b. Offer a counterproposal
c. Say yes
Braiker adds, "You have the right to say no to any request, no matter how intense the pressure you feel. But you must put your choice in action. It's okay to offer a brief apology, but long explanations will get you into trouble. As soon as you start over explaining or apologizing excessively, you will be revealing a vulnerability that the requester can exploit."
The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome
by Harriet B. Braiker by McGraw-Hill
List Price: $16.95
Our Price: $7.92
Food Plate: The USDA recently revealed a new health and wellness icon and program that replaces the 19-year-old food Pyramid. The new Food Plate is visually representative of current nutritional guidelines. We have been working through this information here at LivingAfterWLS and published two Cooking with Kaye newsletters about the Food Plate and WLS. Check these informative email newsletters out at our archive:
Grains, The New Food Plate & WLS
Today we are discussing grains and the role they play in our diet after weight loss surgery. In the early months and even years following surgery a goodly number of patients report difficulty and discomfort when eating rice, pasta, and bread. "It just feels like a big ball is stuck" is a common description when we test drive pasta or rice after surgery and it does not go well.
The New Food Plate
After 19 years the USDA has this week updated food guidelines in a move that makes a lot of sense: a Food Plate. Today we are sharing what we have learned so far so that you may join us and jump in with both feet to embrace a new and improved way of nutrition management for ourselves and the entire family.
Go beyond the LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood and connect with Kaye Bailey in these popular social media destinations:
The Nurse Warned Me,
But I Gained Some Weight Back Anyway
Kelly MarcaNorthern Ohio
Thank you for the Day 6 book. I guess I am one of "those people" - had the surgery and lost and then it came back, the weight. My WLS nurse warned me I could regain the weight and I didn't take her serious or maybe I thought I was more determined than everybody else or smarter or something. I wish I had asked her what would cause me to gain the weight back. I'm not sure that back in 2007 I ever heard of slider foods or liquid rules or anything like that. I just knew WLS was the answer for me. So now I'm up 48 pounds and want to stop it before it gets to 50 pounds and all of the sudden another 50 and I'll be back where I started. Thanks for explaining so many things in the Day 6 book. I wish I read this book before I even had the surgery, maybe I wouldn't be one of "those people" or at least not a 48-pound-regain one of those people.
This is the first time I have hope since the re-gain started.
Printed with Permission.
Because we are all "One of those people" who have or could regain our weight.
Day 6 by Kaye Bailey
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When Guilt Gets to Us
Permission to take time for you.
July 18, 2011
LivingAfterWLS, LLC - All Rights Reserved
We are in the heart and heat of summer! I hope this newsletter finds you well with many opportunities to enjoy new things that weight loss surgery has made possible. After surgery many of us experience feelings of guilt for making our own health a priority above the needs of others. If you have felt guilty for taking time for you since surgery you are not alone.
Guilt, as defined by Merriam-Webster is, "feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: SELF-REPROACH"
. It surprises me that when my fellow WLS friends tell me about guilt they are not talking about fridge-side forays with forbidden foods. They are talking about feelings of selfishness because WLS requires them to put themselves first above all others for whom they care, an action contrary to the self-sacrificing manner in which they have conducted their lives.
This Weekly Digest addresses feelings of guilt experienced by many WLS patients. We seek to understand that self-care is essential in our ability to care for others in our life. We will review a technique to say "no" and discuss our WLS dreams.
As we continue in this journey toward better health I believe we each discover strong, capable, beautiful beings inside. May each new day be one of discovery, growth and empowerment.
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July 2011 - Excessive Heat Warnings
Over 40 states are warning their residents of the dangers of heat related illness as the mercury rises setting new records. While not as dramatic as storm related health concerns heat waves cause more illness and death than any other weather event. For weight loss surgery patients it is critical to stay hydrated at all times. The Red Cross reports, "In recent years, excessive heat has caused more deaths than all other weather events, including floods. A heat wave is a prolonged period of excessive heat, often combined with excessive humidity. Generally temperatures are 10 degrees or more above the average high temperature for the region during summer months, last for a long period of time and occur with high humidity as well."
Take a look at this thread for information from the National Weather Service and the American Red Cross. Learn what extra measures weight loss surgery patients need to take to avoid heat related illness. Link Here
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I Feel Guilty Taking Time
to Care for Myself
by Kaye Bailey - Syndicated Article Copyright 2006
While I hesitate to pigeonhole character traits of morbidly obese people there is one thing that seems to be common: obese adults notoriously put the needs of others ahead of themselves. I hear it often. "I don't have time to prepare healthy meals or exercise because I have to take the kids to soccer (or fill in: take mother to the doctor or help my neighbor with her yard or work late to help my co-worker, etc.). Sound familiar? And while it is true that all these things need to be done in order to do them well we need to be healthy and energized. But it is also true that when we actually take time to prepare a healthy meal or exercise we feel guilty. "Shame on me," we think. "How could I be so selfish?"
There are two kinds of promises we make: outer promises to others and inner promises to ourselves. Think about your activities yesterday. How many times did you nod to another person and say, "Yes, I will take care of that." And then you honored your word and kept the promise you made to another. Now, how many times did you make an inner promise to yourself yesterday? Something like "I will take time to read that magazine, enjoy a hobby, cook a good meal, exercise, etc." Did you honor the promise to yourself or did you put it off because other outer promises for which you are accountable had to be kept?
Lately I've struggled with the inner promise to exercise more regularly. It's been an easy promise to ignore because I don't have visible accountability or public pressure to keep my word to myself. If I fail to keep a personal promise who will know or care? Besides, if I take the time I need to care for myself won't others think me vain and self-centered? The only thing other's keep track of is my ability to keep outer promises; nobody knows about the promises in my soul.
Have you found yourself in this mode of thinking? Sarah Ban Breathnach said, "We are great at delivering on our word when someone else is counting on us, but when no one else is looking or listening we renege on ourselves with a ruthlessness that's heartbreaking."
When we sat in our pre-weight loss surgery counseling we promised the surgeon and others that we would use "the tool" and make the required lifestyle changes to make weight loss surgery be the winning grand slam in our battle with morbid obesity. It was easy to nod our head and affirm compliance to a new way of life. But the fact is, the WLS tool doesn't give us the new life skills we need to be capable of keeping that promise to ourselves without guilt or struggle. We have families, jobs and lives, all of which beckon and demand our time and attention. Our personal life history is one of outer-promise making and keeping at the expense of personal care and nurturing.
For many the post-WLS guilt begins before surgery. One woman, Jenna, told me, "I can only take one-week off work for my surgery, I cannot trouble my office mate for longer than that just for my elective surgery." Listen to her language: "trouble my office mate" and "elective surgery." Jenna is drowning in outer promises sacrificing her own needs.
Like all of us, Jenna promised to take better care of herself using the weight loss surgery tool, but a lifetime of denying personal needs is not an easy habit to break. Breathnach says, "Although self-promises tend to be pleasurable and positive rather than punitive, we rarely keep them. Why? Because without accountability, visibility, pressure, shame, or guilt as our personal prompts we don't think they really matter. We don't believe that our happiness, well-being, or contentment counts for much. When we break self-promises we are under the illusion that there are no repercussions. After all, we reason, who else knows, cares, or is keeping track of the fact that you cannot be counted on?"
Did you promise to take better care of yourself as part of your weight loss surgery experience? Do you feel guilty when you spend time or money keeping that promise? Has feedback from others caused you to feel selfish or guilty for taking better care of yourself? Are you keeping your inner promises?
Please read "You are worthy of your own care giving." on pages 32-38 of Day 6: Beyond the 5 Day Pouch Test
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Customers love our 5 Day Pouch Test Bargain Bundle & asked for a Day 6 Bundle. Here it is! Read Kaye Bailey's popular "Day 6-Beyond the 5 Day Pouch Test" and learn to support your healthy lifestyle after weight loss surgery with some of your favorite general store products including Emergen-C Bundle; 12-Serving Tea Sampler & Free Goody Bag. $45.95 Value. Shipped via USPS Priority Mail so you can enjoy it right away. Excellent value - Save 15% when you purchase the Day 6 Bargain Bundle!
Kaye Bailey's popular "Day 6-Beyond the 5 Day Pouch Test" bundled with your favorite general store products including Emergen-C Bundle; 12-Serving Tea Sampler & Free Goody Bag. $45.95 Value. Save $15% on the Bundle. Learn More
Your Safe Haven Circle of Friends
10,086 Neighbors - 164,198 Posts
The LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood: an online compassion driven social space evoking feelings of comfort, understanding, knowledge, warmth, acceptance, trust and happiness for those who have undergone gastric bypass, lap-band or any type of weight loss surgery or those struggling with weight control.
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Don't trust your weight loss surgery life to anyplace else.
Come in and tell us about yourself! We love meeting new Neighbors and everyone is welcome here in our little community.
Want to join the Neighborhood, but not sure where to start? Tell us in this Volume 4: What brought YOU to the Neighborhood? Everyone is welcome - Can't wait to meet you!
2011 Neighborhood Postcard Swap
This is the least expensive most fun *Vacation* you will enjoy all year. Please take a minute to learn how it works and then join us! The Postcard Swaps have been tremendously successful. So let the fun begin!
Join us Here
Attention Gastric SLEEVERS:
Heart on Your Sleeve
A special forum dedicated to those who undergo gastric sleeve procedures. Named "Heart on Your Sleeve" because so many of us invest our hope and our hearts in a procedure to take back our life. Please share you knowledge and experience and connect HERE
Weight Loss Surgery Chat
All things weight loss surgery. Find your procedure peer in our gastric banding, gastric sleeve forums. Or talk to veterans of weight loss surgery. Learn about diet, nutrition, exercise and more after weight loss surgery.
5 Day Pouch Test Forum
Always a popular destination the 5 Day Pouch Test Forum is your place to connect with others who are using this popular plan to get back on track with their weight loss surgery tool.
Day 6: Beyond the 5 Day Pouch Test
Harness the momentum of your 5 Day Pouch Test and continue forward with a positive effort at Day 6 Living. Great support from others, like you, who are trying their best to live healthy happy lives with weight loss surgery.
The You Have Arrived Alumni Club
Connect with others who had weight loss surgery the same year you did and share the journey! From the Pioneers of the 1980s to our newbies of 2010, everyone has a place in the Alumni Club to call home.
The Picket Fence
A place to stop and share the things in our daily lives beyond weight loss surgery. A neighborly place of support and friendship.
Fun FridayCommunity KitchenNeighborhood Cookbook
5 Day Pouch Test Bargain Bundle
The Works! Everything you need to get back on Track!
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Red, White & Blue Bean Salad
This brightly colored salad is the best of summer in a bowl without much effort. Make use of canned cannellini beans and your work is nearly done! The creamy beans and Mediterranean dressing blend well to make a healthy salad your guests will enjoy. If you don't have the You Have Arrived Savory Provence Blend
use any sodium-free herb blend you have on hand.
Prepare a day ahead to allow the flavors to develop.
2 large roasted red peppers, canned
30 ounces cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 medium red onion, sliced
1 Tablespoon You Have Arrived Savory Provence Blend
3 Tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 Tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon You Have Arrived Finishing Salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
Remove two red peppers from jar and pat dry being careful to remove and discard seeds. Chop to medium dice. Toss with cannellini beans and onion slices. Set aside.
In a small bowl whisk together You Have Arrived Savory Provence Blend, red wine vinegar and olive oil. Toss with cannellini bean mixture. Taste and season with You Have Arrived Finishing Salt and freshly ground pepper. Cover and allow to set at room temperature until serving so that flavors will develop. Toss gently before serving. May be served in lettuce cups.
Serves 12 (about 1/2 cup each). Per serving: 262 calories, 17g protein, 3g fat, 44g carbohydrate and 11g dietary fiber. Rich in calcium, iron and folic acid.
Vinaigrettes for Variety, Nutrition and Flavor
Have you found yourself bored with protein? It's the same 'ole chicken-fish-turkey-eggs day-in and day-out? We have an exciting way to spruce up your protein with tons of flavor but without the calories or carbs! Homemade vinaigrette's are less than 10-minutes away from giving some vinaigrette-va-va-voom to your protein. They are remarkably inexpensive, particularly compared to prepared bottled vinaigrette's. They are quick to make and include fresh healthy ingredients. Today we offer seven great vinaigrette recipes. Try one tonight and fall in love with protein again!
Link for Recipes
Thank you for being a loyal Neighbor of LivingAfterWLS. We are proud to serve you in your weight loss surgery journey.
The health content in the LivingAfterWLS website is intended to inform, not prescribe, and is not meant to be a substitute for the advice and care of a qualified health-care professional.