It's quite interesting to experience this change
on a personal level, and equally so:
to be the recipient of other people's responses.
I have heard it all, statements such as:
"Oh just eat this little egg, it won't kill you"
"That's so extreme"
"What will you eat?"
"Plants have feelings too you know"
and of course, the ever popular,
"Where will you get your protein?"
But the biggest change, the most challenging adjustment, is learning to live with a carnivore when I no longer participated in that approach.
Giving up animals after a lifetime of eating them, became a choice I wanted everyone to make, especially my family.
I didn't want to bring meat into our home again,
I begrudged my husband for ordering a steak when we were out, I openly commented about diners scarfing down their meats without even realizing what they were eating
(it could have easily been a portabella mushroom), or appreciating the fact that an animal
gave its life for their 10-minute pleasure.
I would ask, "How's your cow?"
and offend those eating it (after all, we call chicken chicken and fish fish, so why not?).
This was not met with kindness.
I quickly became aware that the opinions of a "reformed" carnivore
are similar to those of a
reformed smoker
Once you quit, you realize the benefits:
you feel better, your sense of smell is keener, food tastes better, you save money . . . and you kind of want to share that with everyone, but because you have such a strong opinion about it,
it can come across as preachy and offensive to those who still smoke, or in this case,
still eat meat.
It was a very rough road at the beginning,
and while I found myself angry at my husband
for not giving up his food choices,
I eventually had to realize that
it was ME who made the change, not him.
FAST FORWARD to 5 years later
when I am now perfectly comfortable with my choices, and have learned to accept the choices my family has made for themselves.
I have come to realize that it is not my place to dictate how they should lead their lives,
though I did try and try.
It is not my place to dictate, disparage or resent - that approach is not productive.
It is my place however to try and enlighten, educate and encourage a different perspective.
What others do with the information, is up to them.
This decision to let go, was a not an easy one.
It took time to arrive here.
But I came to realize that just as
they respect
my right not to eat animals, I have come to believe that
I must also respect
their rights to do so.
I know staunch vegans would disagree with me.
I know, because they tell me!
Now, when we are out, I hear:
"How can he respect you if he's still eating animals?"
"How can you grocery shop and prepare his meals anymore?" and even . . .
"So when are you going to follow in your wife's footsteps?"While I do find statements such as these to be divisive (even though they have a ring of truth), they serve to remind me that we are all unique
and that the choices we make about our foods,
are ours and ours alone.
I wish we could live in a world where
the rights of animals to exist for their own purpose is just as normal and revered as it is
our right to exist for our own purpose.
Unfortunately, this is not the case.
It saddens me greatly, daily, always.
And so, I remain true to my choices,
because they make sense for me.
But when we judge and condemn others
for their choices, even though those choices
are completely opposite to our own,
we create friction, division and hostility.
Now aren't those judgements exactly the opposite of the values espoused by vegan living?
Here's the deal:
Don't judge my choices and I won't judge yours.
