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Dear Eat Right Be Fit Live Well Readers,
Allow me a moment to introduce myself. I'm Jeannie's daughter, and I "volunteered" to write this month's ERBFLW newsletter. At 25 years old, and after 3 post-college years as a management consultant in New York City, I recently made the utterly selfless decision to fulfill my duty as a card-carrying member of the Boomerang Generation, returning home to keep my parents company for a few months. I'm sure they were beside themselves without my brother and me around to eat their food and entertain them...
Though you and I've just met, I bet I can guess what you're thinking:
1. Thought # 1: There is no earthly way that Jeannie (i.e., that 30-something above) is old enough to have a 25 year old daughter.1 Biological impossibility aside, she has never mentioned said-daughter in any previous newsletters, and if you had both a captive monthly audience and such an exemplary child, wouldn't you talk about her all the time? Well, I fully understand your shock. After months of eagerly anticipating my cameo (likely to be an admiring account of my unusual nutritional philosophy and unparalleled self-restraint - "Katie only had one pint of Mint Chip last night - how does she do it?!"), I can conclude only that the total absence of such a mention evidences the discipline/focus with which my mother writes these newsletters to you all each month. I mean, wow. How she consistently keeps her parental pride in check never ceases to amaze me. I applaud you, Mother.2
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1 FYI, I will be gratuitously flattering my mother whenever possible throughout this newsletter in an effort to postpone any mention of phrases like "paying rent" and "updating your resume," which I ultimately expect to become series regulars in future Mom/Daughter conversations.
2 See footnote 1.
2. Thought # 2: That girl is so lucky. Just imagine, the quarter-century of complimentary nutritional advice! 3 The calorie-free groceries! The oh-so-helpful-and-non-threatening articles on the dangers of sugar, sitting and sleep-deprivation! Well, dear readers, if you'll permit me to shock you a second time, I must admit that life growing up in the Varney household wasn't always a bowl of organic cherries.
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3 And by "complimentary" I mean free of charge but not (in any way) flattering.
The trouble started circa 2001 with the dawning of a new age, one my brother and I refer to (in hushed tones) as The Organic Reformation. My mother's Enlightenment was our Dark Age. It began slowly - Ritz Bitz and Chips Deluxe cookies gave way to Triscuits and dark chocolate. By the time I left for college in 2006, the extent of the devastation in our pantry was enough to make your kale-filled stomach turn. Kamut Cakes and canisters of uncooked quinoa or sockeye salmon were painful reminders of the snacks of yesteryear. Friends began to pack their own food for sleepovers and eventually stopped coming altogether (note to self: this may have been the end-game all along...touché Mother). While other teenagers snuck out to basement parties on Friday nights, my brother and I snuck out for McFlurries.
Naturally, my popularity skyrocketed.
To make matters worse, I was afflicted with the most significant of all teenage girl woes - the Curse of the Objectively Good-Looking Mother4. Today, I realize this for the blessing that it is - she's a walking advertisement for the robustness of my own genetic material! (My current dating strategy is to introduce any person-of-interest to my mother ASAP, in hopes that he will conclude I am predisposed to age gracefully and chalk one up in the "pro" column). Still, at the time, it was discouraging. I'm sure if I had known any boys, it would have been a very sensitive issue for our fledgling relationship to contend with.
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4 A bit of historical context - the chart-topping (and incredibly poignant) single "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne was released in the fall of my sophomore year, confirming my insecurity.
You see now, I hope, what I was up against. I rebelled the only way I knew how - I ignored any and all nutritional advice, instead opting to eat my weight in ice cream on a weekly basis. This strategy actually worked pretty well for me up until I decided to stop playing soccer 20 hours a week, moved to New York City after college, got an office job, and began ordering upwards of 80% of my meals online.
In a moment of uncharacteristic seriousness, I will say this: the next 3 years were painful. I was depressed about my weight and general lack of activity, which in turn made it difficult for me to enjoy my friends, my work, my city. And I had developed a sweet tooth so monstrous that I felt I would never be able to quiet my cravings and take care of myself the way I so desperately wanted to.
Two months ago5 , I decided I was fed-up with the toxic spiral of weight-gain and depression, and I committed to making a change. Perhaps for the first time in my 25 years, I agreed to take some of Mom's advice. A huge part of the work I've been doing to reboot my life over the last few weeks has revolved around my personal quest to discover a happier, healthier, more present self by tweaking my diet and lifestyle. At the start of this effort, I felt I was facing more than a few insurmountable personal challenges:
- I have an epic sweet tooth (a genetic contribution from my father, who enables my bad habits every chance he gets). 6 When it kicks in, the only two things I want to eat are (1) a gallon of ice cream, and (2) anyone that gets in my way.
- I'm always hungry. This is not hyperbole. Always.
- I have little-to-no self-control (leaning towards "no").
- After 20+ years of coaches, trainers, and parents to do it for me, I find I'm not much of a self-motivator at the gym. To date, the biggest motivation I've had for regular gym attendance was the absence of cable in my first apartment.
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5About the time I moved home (to care for my parents), though - of course - unrelated to that decision.
6 My father insisted that I mention him somewhere in this piece. You're welcome, Dad
Not exactly a recipe for success. And yet, 8 weeks into this effort, I would venture to say that some of you might no longer recognize me. I'm down 20 pounds. I feel lighter - not just in body but in spirit. I laugh more easily. I have more energy. And last week, I craved a cucumber. Miracle of miracles.
Best of all, I'm achieving this transformation not through drastic changes or extreme self-discipline but instead by developing a few sustainable habits that acknowledge and accommodate my own limitations. In the event that any of you are struggling with similar demons, I thought I would take the time to share a few pieces of advice, for whatever you think they're worth:
- Minimize consumption of processed sugar. Note the careful choice of the word "minimize" rather than "eliminate" here. As I've mentioned, my sweet tooth has a mind of its own (so this one was tough for me). However, I've been able to successfully remove most of the processed sugar from my diet by finding tasty substitutes. I used to put sugar in my coffee; now I use a few drops of hazelnut or vanilla extract. I used to eat flavored yogurt for breakfast; now I'm trying plain Greek yogurt topped with fresh, seasonal fruit. I still remain unwilling to go to bed without dessert, but now I'll have a square of dark chocolate with a dab of peanut butter instead of a pint of ice cream. Better? I think yes.
- Find low calorie-density foods and eat them in high volume. I am a stress eater (which, in my previous job, basically meant there was a near constant stream of food involved in my day). In the past, I've tried to be more disciplined about only snacking when I'm hungry - it doesn't work. So my new snacking mantra is "do no harm." If you are going to eat mindlessly during the day, pick foods that will fill you up without wasting calories. Vegetables are a great option here - they are low in calorie, high in fiber, and surprisingly tasty (they get tastier the more you eat them, I promise - just hang in there for the first week). For me, the answer has been green beans and cucumbers. I actually walk around with a bag of them in my purse. Embarrassing, you say? What would you rather be seen with, a bag of green beans, or 20 extra pounds around your mid-section?
- Eat your calories in the morning. Food should be fuel! You need it throughout the day; you don't need it after 8 PM at night. Don't be afraid to start your day off with a big, healthy (even if higher calorie) breakfast. If you've had a few sessions with my mom, you've probably heard her say to "eat breakfast like a King, lunch like a Prince, and dinner like a pauper." Turns out, she kind of knows what she's talking about. If you front-load your calories in the morning, you give your body a higher chance to actually use them before storing them as fat (and you'll minimize the urge to snack continuously throughout the day). Ultimately, your waistline will thank you.
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Rediscover your kitchen.Two months ago, I would have told you that the kitchen is just the place where I keep my freezer. Home of the almighty Hot Pocket, etc.7 These days, I'm making an honest effort to cook regularly, and I'm learning quite a bit in the process. For starters: don't get overly ambitious. Cooking fancy things that don't taste like crap takes time and practice (unfortunately). And I'm usually too lazy/hungry to spend much time practicing when I have about a 40% chance that my end-product tastes like something Purina should can and sell to cats. Instead, I've tried to make sure that (1) I know how to cook a few healthy staples (e.g., beans, grilled vegetables, lean meats), (2) I invest time each Sunday in pre-cooking a few of those healthy staples so that I have easy access to them for the rest of the week, and (3) I keep my kitchen stocked with foods that taste good as-is (e.g., fresh fruits and vegetables), as well as a few items that enable me to throw those staples together in quick and interesting ways (a can of stewed tomatoes and a good spice rack will go a long way here). A word of caution: if you're learning to cook for the first time, you will inevitably find yourself spending more time in grocery stores. DO NOT SHOW UP HUNGRY AND BUY EVERYTHING THAT LOOKS GOOD. Just because you're shopping at Whole Foods doesn't mean you have a free pass to buy anything they sell. In other words, those cookies aren't healthy just because they're gluten free or organic. Bring an apple to snack on while you shop, and don't purchase anything that will sit in your pantry and taunt you all day.
- Address cravings head on - don't snack around them. Despite my best efforts to stave off cravings, I'm not always successful. In those moments, I sometimes feel that my appetite is waving an angry protest poster that reads "CHEESEBURGER OR BUST." At first, I would try to respond by indulging in seemingly lesser evils -- I'd have a handful of bean chips with guacamole or a spoonful of peanut butter. The problem is, there are some times when only the food you're craving will do. So I'd eventually get around to having a burger, only I would have "warmed up" with a few extra hundred calories first. Not a good solution. Now, if I find myself in this situation, I will eat precisely the food I'm craving - and only that - but I'll try to make it as healthy as possible (think turkey burger with hummus instead of a greasy cheeseburger). I allow myself to enjoy the infrequent indulgence guilt-free, and I make sure I get back on track during my next meal As Mom says, it's what you eat most of the time, not some of the time, that makes the difference.
- Listen to your body - be mindful of what you eat and pay attention to what satisfies you. We're all different. I've learned that I need large amounts of protein with each meal to keep cravings at bay. For others, it may be healthy fats. Try writing down what you eat (and when you eat it) for a few days, and keep track of when you find yourself getting hungry during the day. How much are you snacking, and on what? Which foods best sustain you? Take note, and adjust your diet accordingly.
- Get more sleep. I know, I know - easy for me to say, now that I've taken time off from my job and can sleep until noon. Believe it or not, I'm still waking up with the sunrise, but I have been making a conscious effort to go to bed earlier. How? I've committed to turning off the TV/blackberry/iPad 30 minutes to an hour before I'd like to be sleeping (the screens keep us awake - it's science). What to do instead? Read a book! Organize yourself for the next day! And if, like me, you're a Late Night with Jimmy Fallon addict, remember: you can always watch it on Hulu later. The best part about getting more sleep - you are less likely to crave crappy foods the next day (also science) and will therefore feel less deprived by your new, healthier eating habits.
- Stay active and stay interested. I am not one of those people that find exercise relaxing. In fact, I'm pretty sure those people are liars. Previously, all attempts to exercise have relied on carefully executed self-deception. You're not running on the treadmill, Katie, you're just watching this hilarious TV show! You're not biking for an hour, you're just listening to this killer playlist you made! Etc. With the rising cost of music on iTunes, this has become a very expensive habit. So for the past few weeks, I have committed not to exercising every day, but rather to "staying active." I bought a pedometer. I shoot for 10,000 steps a day. By maintaining that "activity base" of 10,000 steps, I've opened myself up to exploring less grueling, more interesting forms of "official" exercise in the morning. The other day I tried paddle-boarding (and I have the bruises to prove it). I went open water swimming (although I encountered a rather large fish and then decided to hang up the goggles for a while). I completed my first successful yoga class. 8 Who knows what's next - Surfing? Zumba? The possibilities are endless! And if I ever wake up too tired or too busy to start my day with a workout, I don't worry too much - I know I'll still find a way to squeeze those 10,000 steps into my day because now they're a priority.
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7 Bonus confession: If you must know, I also used to keep books on the shelves of my oven - space was tight in my tiny West Village shoe box, my bookshelf was full, and I couldn't think of any other use for that particular appliance. I still maintain that it was the most charming - if hazardous - bookshelf I have had to date. But charming things are often dangerous in my experience...
8 The last time I tried, I lost my balance in the "Happy Baby" pose and took out an entire row of Lululemon-clad women... My bad, ladies.
I hope these tips prove even the slightest bit helpful! Take what resonates with you, and try to incorporate some of these small changes into your day. Leave the rest - no hard feelings :) Best of luck to each and every one of you on your journeys to happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives. And, last but not least, thank-you to my Mom, for patiently guiding me through this process and for giving me the chance to share what I've learned with all of you. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming. I leave you in good hands!
Katie
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