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" One day Eric told me about his long history with pornography - and that it happened in our marriage. I don't think I'll ever forget what that felt like - it was a Sunday morning - the shock, the hurt and then the anger. If I could have blown up the Internet, I would have. I stumbled along in a fog for days. I didn't know how to get through this. Eric felt terrible but I think he was hoping I would process all my feelings in a nice, timely fashion. Not so much. Bit by bit I came out of the fog but I never resolved the feelings of hurt and anger. I stuffed my fear. Okay pornography happened but was it going to happen again or if that happened couldn't there be something worse still to discover? I learned some things I didn't know about pornography - that it is an addiction. I knew that Eric hated it and was doing everything he could to avoid it. Things were better for us but my feelings of anger and fear were always just below the surface. Eric went to Celebrate Recovery and was convinced this was helpful - to his recovery AND to me! Of course if he'd take care of his issues, everything would be better for me! Not quite kicking and screaming but definitely with reluctance I went to my first meeting. It took a little time but I realized I could no longer deny that anger, fear, resentment, and pride had become unmanageable in my life. I was powerless to change and I needed the help of Jesus Christ. I learned my own patterns trigger my feelings and behaviors. Now that I can see these patterns, I can avoid a lot of turmoil by remembering and relying on God's promises. One of my new life verses comes from Isiah 43:18-19:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."Not every day is perfect and pretty by any means. On this side of Heaven I will always be a work in progress, needing to surrender myself every day; living and loving with grace and gratitude. My heart is overflowing with new feelings of compassion, confidence and the reassurance of God's unceasing love for me."
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Upcoming Programs
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This morning, Wednesday, October 29, 8:45 am
San Angelo, TX Cornerstone Christian School Images or Glory? Student Program Tonight, Wednesday, October 29, 6:00 pmSan Angelo, TX San Angelo Christian Academy Images or Glory? Parent Program
Tomorrow, Thursday, October 30, 8:15 am
San Angelo, TX San Angelo Christian Academy Images or Glory? Student Program
Tuesday, November 4Rowlett, TX Keeley Elementary School "Ready, Set, Go" 3-Screen Movie on reaching your goals Wednesday, November 5, 11:30 amDallas, TX Texas Association of Addiction Professionals"Pornography's Effect on the Brain" Adult Program Thursday, November 13, 7:00 pmHomestead, FL (South of Miami) Redland Christian Academy Images or Glory? Parent Program Friday, November 14, 8:30 amHomestead, FL Redland Christian Academy Images or Glory? Student Program Saturday, November 15Inverness, FL (North of Tampa) Pleasant Grove Road Church of Christ 1 pm: Noble Life & Images or Glory? Parent Program 3 pm: Noble Life Student Program 4:30 pm: Images or Glory? Student Program 6:45 pm: Parent-Teen Workshop Sunday, November 16Inverness, FL Pleasant Grove Road Church of Christ 9:30 am: Images or Glory? Adult Bible Class
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