OA&FS June Bulletin

In this issue ...

Outreach News

Marketing Update

Gatherings Announcements

OA&FS News & Resources

Hospitious Adoption

Adoption Related Events

Adoptive Parent Bulletin

June 2013

Why attend the Waiting Family Groups?

At OA&FS we value connection. Your connection with the agency will enhance your connection with the expectant parents that choose you, and ultimately your connection with your child. There are a variety of ways to engage with the agency: through our annual picnic and holiday parties; through our special events and through our mentor program. However, the most impactful avenue for engagement is through our waiting family groups. These meetings occur monthly (with the exception of July and August) in Eugene, Portland and Seattle and through our monthly phone group. By attending these meetings, or participating in the phone group, you will gain access to rich and thought-provoking information through our discussion groups and guest speaker presentations. We are a dynamic agency that is always exploring new ways to refine the information we bring to you. The best way for us to share these new ideas is through our waiting family groups. This information will be vital to you throughout your open adoption journey.

The waiting family groups are also a great way to connect with other adoptive families. Waiting in the pool can bring up complex emotions that may lead to feelings of isolation among your friends and family. By reaching out to other waiting families, you gain access to people who are traveling a similar path, and can understand and relate to your barrage of feelings. We've seen countless close and lasting friendships develop among our families. Reach out and join us!

Warm regards,

An Open Adoption & Family Services Monthly Publication

The Adoptive Parent Bulletin is sent to all adoptive parents from the time of their intake interview until two years after their most recent placement.

Join our Social Media Communities

Your visits support our campaign to build awareness about the benefits of open adoption! By liking us on Facebook, and viewing and liking videos on YouTube, you make it easier for people who need pregnancy options and adoption planning services to learn more and find OA&FS.

Marketing Update

A spring bouquet of marketing news.

Always a beehive of activity here at OA&FS Marketing HQ. Here are highlights ....

Family books are rolling in and definitely getting noticed by expectant parents! If you haven't yet done so it's getting time to submit yours. Get inspired with this newest crop from Mike and Jen and Taya and Porter. Happy creating.
Expectant parent calls reached a five-year high in May of 37! And June's off to a very strong start. We're thrilled that women and couples facing an unplanned pregnancy are resonating with our messages.
A significant part of this growth is coming from outside of Oregon and Washington. We've gotten 76 expectant parent calls from other states so far this fiscal year -- approximately 25% of all intakes. So far these have resulted in three adoption placements. Our unique services are a big reason for this. We're one of a small handful of agencies in the country that is non-profit and pro-choice with a progressive approach to building healthy families ... and proud of it!
We've been running new "geotarget" campaigns in Google Adwords that capitalize on our locality for Oregon and Washington. These have garnered fantastic click-thru rates of 1.8-2.4%, (a good CTR is 1.5%). Here's the Oregon ad:

The OA&FS Facebook page is now at 7,400+ "likers" -- a 34% increase since January! Thanks to all of you who visit, comment and like things on our page. The waiting families promoted posts, (posts that run as ads outside of our page), are continuing to draw strong traffic to those families' web pages. Our promoted post targeted to birthparents nationwide also generates robust visits -- an average of 19 per day with a whopping average of 4 minutes and ten seconds spent on this Services for Birthparents Nationwide page alone.

Outreach News

To educate others about open adoption and services available at our agency, OA&FS staff conduct outreach presentations and free trainings throughout the region year-round. In doing this, they form important relationships that benefit all who receive services from OA&FS.

On May 6, Counselor Kate Sturm and Executive Director Shari Levine manned an information table on our all options pregnancy counseling and services to a group of 150 Oregon public health nurses who were attending the annual Oregon Public Health Nurses Conference. These nurses work directly with the community and women accessing healthcare services. These nurses found the information helpful and were impressed at the options counseling services the agency provides.
On May 24 the agency mailed packages of outreach materials to 2,400 social service outreach contacts. These were split into levels by organization size, and each level received a customized combination of an order form, take one cards, pregnancy options card, DHS brochure and excerpts from an American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology report on adoption, (physicians only). An email was deployed in conjunction with this mailing that achieved a 21% click thru rate. See all OA&FS outreach materials here.
On May 31 Seattle Counselor Courtney Gray met with three employees of Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest (PPGNW) to discuss OA&FS services, share general information about adoption, and provide skill-building training. The employees hope to discuss adoption more comfortably and accurately with patients after meeting with Courtney, and were happy to hear about the ease of making referrals to OA&FS for their patients' further options counseling.

Gatherings

Attending gatherings is an important way to be better equipped and prepared for adoption. Plus you get the benefits of developing friendships within the OA&FS community! We look forward to seeing you.

Portland

Date: Thursday June 13, 6:30-8:00 pm

Topic: Working with Mental Health Challenges in Adoption: A discussion on the mental health parameters of the screening tool and the impact mental illness can have on the open adoption relationship.

Where: Portland OA&FS office, 5200 SW Macadam Ave., #250

Please RSVP to lori@openadopt.org by Wednesday June 12.

As always, this will be a drink and snack potluck. We will not be having a gathering at the office in July or August, but will resume in October after the agency's summer picnic on Saturday September 14!

Eugene

Date: Wednesday May 22, 7:00 pm

Topic: You've Just Gotten "THE CALL", What's Next?

Where: Ray's Food Place in Albany (621 NW Hickory St)

Please RSVP to lori@openadopt.org.

Note that this will be the last group until October for the Eugene area. However, feel free to join the Out of Area Waiting Families Group over the summer, or anytime, to continue to connect with the agency and other waiting families. Come join us for the Eugene summer picnic on Saturday August 10 from 12-2 pm at Bethel Community Park.

Seattle

Reminder -- we have no gatherings during the summer months and will resume our monthly meeting in October and hope to see everybody Saturday August 17 at Magnuson Park from 11:00 am-2:00 pm with the Reptile Man!

Out of State/Area Waiting Families Group

Date: Tuesday June 18, 4-6:00 pm PST

Topic: Last Minute Placements.

Teleconference Instructions: The OA&FS conference call-in room number is 530-881-1000, use participant code 252531#. Note that this group will continue throughout the summer. Watch for topics in the Bulletin!

Community Gatherings

Check out the following community events and resources organized by other OA&FS adoptive parents in your area:

Portland

Portland Adoptive Families group will hold a potluck. Waiting and adoptive families are welcome to come and socialize!

When: Tuesday, June 18, 6 pm

Where: Corey and Deb Omey's house, 2105 N Webster Street

RSVP: uomey2@gmail.com or 503-349-3002

Salem

An adoption support group meets every other month from 6-7:00 pm at Salem's Main Library in their Plaza room. There will be a hiatus for summer, so next meeting will be on September 17. For information contact Christie Van Winkle at justaminion@gmail.com.

Eugene

Karen Luks, adoptive mother, welcomes OA&FS families to join the Eugene-Springfield area Yahoo! Group, by sending an email to EugeneOAFS-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Seattle

Transracial Family Group

For more information, or to be added to the group's email list, contact adoptive parents Terri and Mary-pat at terriandmarypat@comcast.net.

LGBT Adoptive Families Group

The LGBT Adoptive Families Group meets every other month on the first Sunday from 3-5:00 pm. (Upcoming meetings will be in June, August, October and December 2013.) Contact Lisa Adriance at lann825@gmail.com for location or further information. To join this group, please email adoptive father Bill Soderberg at bjsoderberg@comcast.net or 206-902-7003.

Olympia

Christa Richardson, adoptive mother, hosts a Yahoo! Group to arrange potlucks in Olympia. Join by sending an email to

olyoafs-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Kitsap Penninsula

Traia Wensel, adoptive mother, invites open adoption families in the Kitsap Penninsula area to join a Yahoo! Group for arranging get togethers and play groups. To join, email:

kitsap_oafs-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Announcements

Welcome to the Pool:

Brian and Tricia Matz of Spokane, WA.
Kent Davis and Anna Visscher of Bozeman, MT
Leslie Allen and Betsy Richardson of Birmingham, AL
Matt Mills and Josh White of Washington, DC

In Adoption Planning:

Shane Rossow and Phillip Belenky are anticipating a new summer arrival through an outside resource.
Willo Bellwood and Bob Meader are in adoption planning with expectant parents due to deliver in California in August.
Rebecca Green and Joe Hessney are in adoption planning with a couple in Portland and are planning to have a new baby boy any day now!
Melissa Callender and Molly Luby are in adoption planning with a couple from Eugene, OR. The baby is due in September.
Julie and Blake Murphy are in adoption planning with an expectant parent in Eugene and are expecting a boy in July.

Congratulations:

Alarik and Jeff Fryling welcomed their son Isaac Stiofan Fryling, into their lives on April 25. April 25 started out like a day like any other, until they received "the call" that Isaac had been born earlier that day, and that his birthmother Sarah had chosen them to be his parents. They quickly flew into action - changed all of their plans, gathered essential items, and jumped in the car to meet Sarah and Isaac. Sarah, Jeff, and Alarik quickly discovered that they share the same values, hopes, and dreams for Isaac's future. Although they were only able to get to know each other for a few hours, they felt connected and bonded from that very day. Alarik and Jeff chose to honor Sarah by keeping his middle name in the way Sarah had hoped. They have all spent the past month getting to know each other better and building an even deeper foundation for their relationship in the years to come. They look forward to celebrating Isaac with Sarah for many years to come.
On June 2 Olivia arrived into the world to be greeted by her birth mother, birth grandparents, and adoptive parents, Raquel and Keith from Santee, California. Keith and Raquel are also the adoptive parents of Olivia's older brother, and they have a close, loving relationship with their birth family.

OA&FS News & Resources

Birthmothers' Retreat a special day.

It was truly wonderful to celebrate all of our wonderful birthmothers at the annual retreat held on Sat., May 18. There was lots of activity at Portland's SMILE Station as birthmothers received massages, participated in yoga and made jewelry. But most important was their ability to share their stories of courage, generosity and hospitality. Thanks so much to all who donated.

Summer Picnic season is almost here!

Mark your calendars for Eugene, Sat. August 10, Seattle, Sat. August 17 and Portland, Sat. Sept. 14.

Lori Lavender Luz to speak at October gatherings.

OA&FS is bringing this popular blogger and author to the Northwest! Lori describes herself as "Yogini and wonderer, wife of one and mom of two, diarist and open adoption advocate". We enjoy and learn from Lori's writing, and are excited to read her new book written with contributions from Birthmother Crystal Hass, "The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption". Lori will be visiting Seattle on Tues. Oct. 1, Portland Wed. Oct. 2 and Eugene Thurs. Oct. 3. There's sure to be a lot of participation, introspection, discussion and fun. The upcoming Open Page newsletter will have reservation and registration information. Don't miss out!

Hospitious Adoption

Jim Gritter has generously given us permission to share with you excerpts from his seminal book on open adoption, "Hospitious Adoption". We've added this book to our required reading for good reason -- it provides a road map to explore the creative potential of adoptive relationships. Here, Shari Levine has curated passages from Chapter 2: The Ethic of Hospitality. Enjoy!

"There is a simple beauty to hospitality. Without a lot of explanation, most of us are aware of its sweetness. We have experienced the startling, deep welcome of hospitality and reveled in the bracing sensation that even in a lonely moment we matter to someone who hardly knows us. Given that enduring memory of hospitable acceptance, it is tempting to simply declare it a self-apparent good and say no more, for the study of it risks its diminishment. The strangeness of it, though, the near-novel feel, suggests that it is far less familiar than we prefer. Good, then, to make an effort to grasp it more fully. Perhaps, if we understand the basics of hospitality better, we will offer more of it."

"Conscious of it or not, like it or not, adoption's participants are interdependent and connected. One cannot be an adoptive child or adoptive parent or birthparent apart from the contributions of the others. These connections define fundamental aspects of each person's identity. That irrefutable and enduring linkage means these parties have to come to terms with who they are to each other and how they will treat one another. Ethics are in play, and circumstances require that they determine the extent of the hospitality they are willing to offer and receive."

"Hospitality can be described as a set of attitudes and as a set of skills. We will consider three of each. More could be included, but it is important that the simplicity of hospitality shines through our discussion. These basics are enough to organize and enrich our thinking. Hospitality is founded on the attitudes of goodwill, respect and courage, and it is brought to life through the skills of noticing, listening and creating space. As our exploration of the subject moves forward, it will be evident that these attitudes and skills are closely related and complementary."

"Goodwill identifies with the other. It does not go so far as to suggest we are the same, but it does assert that we are not so different as appearances may suggest. Despite our differences, some of which may be conspicuous, we invariably overlap in important ways, and that common ground provides opportunities for relationship building."

"... apart from some quirks of biology and luck, birthparents and adoptive parents could easily change places. Even in those instances where little common ground can be found, participants are vitally linked by their shared adoptive experience. They have some important people in common, most notable a child who looks to them to make sense of an existentially provocative circumstance."

"Persons of goodwill are not interested in boosting their status by demoting anyone else. To the contrary, they feel diminished if the other is impugned, especially if they were somehow responsible. Agents of goodwill realize that everyone is well-served when the cause of the other is promoted. One down-to-earth adoptive father put it this way: "Our daughter will love us all the more for including her birthmother and always speaking well of her".

In the next Bulletin, we'll hear more from Jim Gritter regarding two other qualities of hospitality: courage and respect.

Adoption Related Events