This cycle continued for several years - with varying degrees of intensity - at some points involving talk of sale barns and/or bullets, and at most points involving profanity. Like Michael Johnson in his profoundly spiritual book Healing Shine, I knew there was a good horse in there somewhere, but for the life of me didn't know how to keep that good horse with us when we needed her. In the end it was easier just to move into the "This-Horse-Is-Crazy" camp and send her on down the road. The sale barn is often the first step down a slippery slope to the slaughterhouse for many horses - and from time to time I would feel a pang of guilt - wondering what happened to the pretty blaze faced liver chestnut mare...

Many years later, I was to find out. Imagine my surprise, when I got an email from a man who'd bought Tessie as an aged mare for his grandkids to ride. She'd been through many, many owners, but ultimately served as a broodmare and occasional riding horse for a quarter horse breeder for several years. This man then sold her to her current owner, whose wife had had a serious riding accident and was fearful about riding again. He told me that Tessie was the first horse he'd seen her ride with such confidence, and once she got back in the saddle, she didn't want to get off! He raved about how she was broke the best - so responsive to the lightest touch - and to voice commands. I felt a little proud - as I was the one who broke her to ride and taught her the voice commands.
The irony of all this was NOT lost on me. My current horse Allie had begun to display some of that same "crazy" behavior that we'd seen in Tessie all those years ago. This time it led me down a totally different path, a new path that did NOT involve blaming the horse for being crazy, lazy, stupid or a myriad of other human character flaws. I continued to work on developing a new perspective on how to interact with animals that is a whole lot less bossy and confrontational. I became a student of "new" ways, and my favorite books from this journey are here.

In the back of my mind I always thanked Tessie for starting me on that path. God had ultimately put her in a good home (not mine) and I was especially relieved that she'd gotten a just reward after her tumultuous start with us.
I became Facebook friends with her current owners and always felt a flood of mixed emotions whenever they'd post a picture of her. It was apparent she was getting the best of care; she looked beautiful and healthy even as she approached 30. I was happy she'd let go of her anxiety and unpredictable nature, to be so steady for a woman who'd lost her confidence, and a troupe of grandchildren whose first experiences with her may inspire a lifelong love of horses. And it was always a reminder to me - that my own negative assessment of another's character may NOT be as accurate as I think it is.

I shed a few tears Sunday morning when I logged on and read these words:

RIP dear Tessie. I am sorry we misunderstood you here, and I am thankful for all that you taught all of us.

*A note about the samples - Someone made a comment on the HoofPrints Facebook page  that the samples are free to me and implied should thus be priced accordingly. Just to set the record straight - I pay for almost every sample I acquire. Occasionally an author or publisher will send me a book unsolicited, but I prefer to buy these anonymously so if I review and don't think it is a good fit for the product line, I don't feel guilty about not including it.