Almost exactly two years ago, I wrote a newsletter about Letting Go (see it here if you'd like read/review it). That newsletter focused on the topic as part of transition- the first stage of that process we often go through after experiencing a big change. At that time, I had some big changes going on in my life and so I explored that topic with you and shared some of my learnings.

Since that time, I've learned even more about Letting Go. It is a common theme in my coaching and certainly in my own life and in the lives of those around me. I thought it would be helpful to talk a bit more about it, not just as part of the transition process, but also about how it appears in life on a daily basis - and how our lives become richer and richer the more familiar with we are with it and more importantly, the more we use it.

So to review just a bit, Letting Go is a vital part of the transition process after a big change. If we don't let go, we can't truly begin again - we can't be that redefined person that wants to emerge after that change. Knowing and seeing this is extremely helpful when you're in the midst of a change (or after one). The key thing here is to remember it's a process. Depending on what the change is, it might take some time before we are ready to let go. It's not as if we can just decide and say, "Ok. Today I'm done - I'm letting go completely." Getting out of a long relationship or losing a loved one are examples of changes that ask us to take our time - to listen, to be compassionate and gentle with ourselves.

So whatever the change, it's important to be patient with yourself and to look at what you are holding onto and why. Sometimes it's just that you aren't quite ready yet and that's ok. Asking questions of yourself when you're in this space is very helpful - questions like 'Now that this change has happened, who do I want to be?' and "What do I need right now in order to be that person?" Another question to ask when you're ready is "What do I need to let go of in order to be the 'new' me?'

Lately I am more and more aware of how vital Letting Go is to our lives on a daily basis and not just as part of the transition process after a big change. One of the best indicators of knowing it's time to let go of something is when you feel stuck. Stuck-ness means something is there that doesn't need to be - perhaps it's an expectation, some thought that isn't serving you at all or some truth that you are resisting seeing.

I have a very concrete example for you. I have been in the process of writing this newsletter about Letting Go longer than I usually write newsletters. I did everything I usually do and still, the energy around it wasn't moving. I kept waiting for the day when I would sit down and the words would flow as they always do. Today, I asked myself, "What do I need to let go of in order to write this newsletter?" It's a good question. As soon as I asked it I realized I just needed to let go of everything the newsletter 'should' contain (I had a list) and instead, to simply write from my heart as I always do. I also needed to let go of the picture of what it 'should' look like or how it usually is. Perhaps there's a reason things are a bit different for this one.

That 'should' is a big one when it comes to Letting Go. It's really indicator #2 in the Letting Go equation. When you feel/see/think a 'should', it means there's something to let go of. If there's a 'should' in place, you might have some expectation - of the way things, a person, your life or you are supposed to be. When we're hanging onto those, things feels constricted, they take effort and a situation, even life, can feel like a struggle. Once you let go of that 'should', there's room for movement, for more communication and ease. There's room for more expression of the true you. I'm breathing easier as I write this as the words are ringing true even in the writing itself.

I am constantly inviting my clients to discover what they want more of in life. And no matter what they want more of, I know that there will be something to let go of in the process of getting to that more. In creating the lives we want, we must constantly be assessing and re-assessing. We can constantly ask ourselves, 'what's working here and what's not working?' I know that some people look at things not working and see this as a sure sign that they are doing something wrong or that they aren't 'there' yet. I see it as an opportunity to wake up and start making conscious choices about where we are and where we want to be. When we see and admit what's not working, we can let go - sometimes gradually - in order to let in more of what IS working. So when we aren't 'there' yet, we are getting the opportunity to let go of what we don't need in order to move toward that 'there'.

So I invite you in these summer months to be on the lookout for the things you can let go of. Are you feeling stuck in a particular area right now? If so, what might you need to let go of in order to move forward? Are you thinking things 'should' be different or perhaps a person 'should' be different? What might happen if you let go of those expectations? What might be on the other side of those? I know...lots of questions. Just take them one at a time. Use these summery months to go a bit deeper and see what wants to happen once you let go of all you no longer need.