Symbiont Performance Group, Inc.
 May 2013
 In This Issue 

 

Four Fundamental Truths About Personal Development  

 

Modeling Success 

 

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Pat Iannuzzi

Pat Iannuzzi  

 

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"Keep in mind that we are all a work in progress. That means that there will always be room for improvement. That is why they call it personal development, because it's a process of continual improvement. The important thing is to do the best we can so that we keep our life moving in the right direction."

 

~ Jonathan Wells   

 















 

"To become a master at any skill, it takes the total effort of your heart, mind, and soul working together in tandem."

 

~ Maurice Young 

 















 

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

 

~ George Bernard Shaw 

 















 

"All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose."

 

~ Brian Tracy 

 





























 

"Learning would be exceedingly laborious, not to mention hazardous, if people had to rely solely on the effects of their own actions to inform them what to do. Fortunately, most human behavior is learned observationally through modeling."

 

~ Albert Bandura

 















 

"To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new bahavior."

 

~ Maxwell Maltz

 















 

"Peak performers develop powerful mental images of the behavior that will lead to the desired results. They see in their mind's eye the results they want, and the actions leading to it."

 

~ Charles Garfield

 











































 

"... for every man is almost always led to believe not through proof, but through that which is attractive."

 

~ Blaise Pascal

 















 

"Patient persuasion can break down the strongest resistance and can even convince rulers."

 

~ Biblical Proverb

 















 

"Persuasion is getting the other guy to convince himself. If you question, listen, write it down, and question again for clarification, your answers and your point of view will become obvious."

 

~ Jeffrey Gitomer

 





























Greetings!

Welcome to the May, 2013 edition of Insights. I hope you will find this month's selection of articles interesting and thought-provoking, and that you will take from these words at least one thought or idea that you can use to bring about a positive change in some aspect of your personal or professional life.

 

Slay the Silent Attitude Killer; "Eat the Frog First"

 

William James, one of the pioneers in modern psychology is credited with saying,

 

"Procrastination is attitude's natural assassin. There is nothing so fatiguing as an uncompleted task."

 

Procrastination is a phenomenon with which we are all familiar. When we procrastinate, we put off doing important activities because we don't like doing them or find them otherwise stressful. Sometimes we put them off so much that we wind up not even doing them and find ourselves facing the unresolved issue again the next day, and the next day, and the next. Often the important, difficult things in our lives never get done at all, generating a powerful negative impact on our success and happiness. We subconsciously justify our unproductive behavior by devoting precious time to unimportant activities which just wind up wasting our time.

 

Procrastination drains our energy without our even knowing it and greatly diminishes our productivity. However, if we tackle procrastination head on by facing and addressing that which we dislike doing immediately at the beginning of the day, we wind up actually raising our energy level, brightening our attitudes and increasing our momentum for the rest of the day.

 

Mark Twain once said,

 

"If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is to eat

a live frog, nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day."

frog

To avoid procrastination, our frog should be the most difficult or stressful thing on our list of things to do for the day, the thing we are most likely to procrastinate on if we have the opportunity. If we don't eat our live frog, it will just sit there all day long while we do a hundred other less important things and eventually wind up not eating the frog at all.

 

Getting off to a fast and productive start early in the morning generates a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that can power us throughout the day, and it is a habit that many successful people have in common.

 

If you know of anyone who you think might also be interested in receiving Insights, please forward this issue on.

 

As always, I would be very interested in receiving your feedback.

 

Pat Iannuzzi Follow us on Twitter 

aFOUR FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS ABOUT PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

 

Personal development is about becoming more effective and successful in what we do both personally and professionally and is a concept most anyone you ask would agree is an important part of living a successful life. Unfortunately, however, most people never take full take advantage of their personal development potential. They say they want to become better and they know there are available resources they can leverage to actually become better, but relatively few people really make significant progress during their lives to do so.  

 

The primary reason for this is that most people fail to truly recognize and appreciate what is involved in real personal development. Before we can engage in making meaningful behavioral changes in our lives, we must recognize and accept that as in any field, there are fundamental truths that exist pertaining to personal development, and if we want to experience real growth, we need to understand and fully embrace those truths.

 

personal development

Truth # 1 - Personal Development Can be Hard

 

People generate their current outcomes as a result of their current daily actions and behaviors. If someone wants to become more effective in a particular area of life, or perhaps, in life in general, he or she must change his or her behavior in some way to achieve that outcome. As the saying goes, "If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting." The key to improving personal results is to implement positive behavioral change. But change is not easy and often times there are a number of factors other than our personal performance behaviors that can have a powerful impact on our results. See Success Formula. 

 

Behavioral change requires motivation and commitment. Motivation is the power that moves people to take action and commitment reflects the attitude of never giving up. Change requires that people do something differently than they are doing currently. Because both changing and remaining the same are connected in some degree to positive as well as negative consequences, a person will only take action to change when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing or the pleasure of changing is greater than the pleasure of remaining the same. This is ultimately what determines whether or not a person really wants to change. Learn more about the Dynamics for Change.

 

Many people, for example, are uncomfortable speaking before groups and wish they could perform better in this area. They realize that their interpersonal success and persuasive ability would be significantly enhanced by overcoming the "stage fright" that usually accompanies public speaking and by developing improved presentation skills. Even with such a clear understanding and acceptance of the benefits of improvement, precious few individuals seek out presentation skills coaching or join Toastmasters.  

 

The main reason for this is that someone seeking improvement in public speaking knows that he or she must actually speak publicly in order to receive important coaching feedback and that this process would create unwanted anxiety and potential embarrassment. The result is that most people would rather continue to deal with the realities of being a poor speaker rather than experience the distress that working to become better speaker (i.e., personal development) would create.

 

Truth # 2 - You Must Know What the Intended Personal Development Will Look Like

 

To succeed in personal development, we must create a clear mental picture of our intended results. A powerful vision is the driving force of achievement. To become a better manager, listener or teacher for example, we need to have a clear image in our minds as to what being a better manager, listener or teacher would look and sound like. Develop a personal vision statement focusing on the specific area of personal development you are interested in pursuing and take time to visualize your desired outcome daily.  

 

See yourself actually performing at your desired higher level. Include details of future behavior reflecting your improved performance. This will give you a clear target to aim at. Your brain will accept your vision as reality if you continue to maintain your focus. Be sure you are focusing in the direction in which you want your life to go. Once that happens, your life will literally rearrange itself around that perceived reality.

 

Truth # 3 - You Must Believe in Yourself and Have Confidence in Your Ability

 

Your feelings, attitudes and behavior all grow from your beliefs. If you believe that you can, you probably can. Belief builds confidence and confidence leads to action. Don't impose limits on your own abilities by holding limiting beliefs and making negative predictions. More on self-limiting beliefs. Deep down, you know you can do whatever you set your mind on, so hold onto that belief. Do your actions show that you truly believe in yourself?

 

Truth # 4 - You Must Take Action

 

Make a commitment to taking significant or even massive action. Planning and deciding are very important steps, but without action they have almost no value. Likewise, halfhearted or limited action is not going to get things done. Reading a book or attending a seminar will not do it for you. If you want to make positive change, be willing to keep taking action in the direction of your goals. Life is full of hills and valleys. It can be pretty challenging to keep taking action when things get rough.  

 

Finally, we must each recognize that our lives are our personal responsibility. This is the foundation of all personal development. We can either accept conditions as they are, or take responsibility for changing them. Whatever we choose to do, we must acknowledge that we are the only person responsible for our decisions and actions. While the existence of these personal development truths may be generally accepted on an intellectual level, more than acknowledgment is required. This seems to be one of the major differences between people who make things happen in life, and those who can't seem to figure out why things are the way they are.

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bMODELING SUCCESS

 

Clearly, there are many paths through which people and organizations can achieve success. Books, seminars, audio/video programs and even newsletters such as this one are filled with success strategies and tactics that generally offer great suggestions for achieving success and happiness. Some concepts such as having a clear vision, developing effective goals, generating and maintaining self-confidence, and taking action are fundamental, meaning that without them true success is usually out of one's grasp.

 

Modeling Success is an approach that involves imitating or copying the strategies and tactics others have successfully used to achieve that which you desire to achieve. It is a kind of short cut to arriving at your desired destination, and it works for both individuals and organizations. Imitation may or may not be the sincerest form of flattery, but it is definitely one of the best ways to make rapid improvements in your life. Modeling the success of others allows you to adopt proven successful patterns of thinking and behavior, thereby drastically reducing the time you need to spend making decisions on what direction to head in next.

 

Human beings are hardwired to learn through imitation. Although each of us has undergone and may continue to undergo formal structured, education, it is pretty clear that we learn best by imitating others. We learned to stand, walk, run and talk this way. Many people take these complex skills for granted, but it's through the amazing powers of modeling that we all possess them. Although you may be able to learn much through modeling by virtue of your natural hardwiring, there is more you can do to help accelerate this process. Here are three steps for using behavioral modeling to advance your goals.

plan 

Step #1 - Decide What you Want

 

The first step on any journey to success is clearly defining what you want. There is an often quoted paraphrase of an exchange between Alice and the Cheshire Cat from Lewis Carrols's Alice in Wonderland that that goes, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there," that clearly expresses this fundamental principle. So first and foremost, you must know clearly what you want. Once you have decided what it is that you want to accomplish, the fastest way to speed up your success is to model the success of others who have already attained it.  

 

Find people who are already successful at what you want to accomplish and model what they are thinking and doing. This will help you achieve the same results. Just as important, however, focusing on other achievers will also help you shape your own goals and aspirations by opening your mind to an expanded vision of what your own life can become.

 

Step # 2 - Model Successful Thinking

 

Next, focus on trying to figure out how that person thinks. Every person has different thinking strategies for solving problems. Observing these strategies in other people can give you an idea of how you can adopt these same strategies to overcome challenges and achieve desirable outcomes in your life. Because you can't actually visualize thought patterns, you need to do a little detective work to figure out your model thinks. The best way to start is simply to ask the person how he or she solves problems. Usually this will provide clues that can give you insights into the range of mental tools this person uses to overcome challenges. If you don't have direct contact with the person or if your model is a literary or historical figure, you may need to determine how he or she thinks by researching what has been written about them.

 

Step # 3 - Model Behavior

 

Skill Set

Successful people possess key skills and attributes that are responsible for their achievements. Observe or seek out information regarding your role model's unique skill set. This can give you important insights into the knowledge and skills you may need to develop to achieve your goals and objectives. This may take some research within your profession or industry, but it is vital to have or develop these industry-specific key skills to make sure you are on the right track. If you genuinely believe that you are unable to develop a key skill that you believe is absolutely critical to achieving your goal, then you should either rethink your goal or find ways to outsource the key skill set. Also, focus on key attributes such as self-confidence, perseverance, resilience and trustworthiness.

 

Language

Successful people usually possess effective interpersonal and persuasion skills. Regardless of their achievements, most successful people benefited from the cooperation of others along their success journey. Again, observe or seek out information about your role model's communication style and incorporate some of those characteristics into your own. You don't want to imitate your role model's personality, but rather, include some of their traits (enthusiasm, effective listening, body language and voice tonal qualities) into your own unique personality.

 

Behaviors

Successful people exhibit personal behaviors that give them the edge over others in what they do. Aristotle said, "We are what we repeatedly do." Excellence, then, requires that achievers make a habit out of exhibiting powerful, productive behaviors. Determine what the dominant, habitual productive behaviors of those you desire to model are and adopt those same behavioral habits. Clearly, habits take time and repetition to change, so you have to be serious about adopting and reinforcing them until they become a subconscious response.

 

Remember, success leaves clues. There is a pathway to power; a way to achieve what you want in a shorter period of time, and the way to find it is to model someone who is already achieving what you want. If someone is successful at anything, whether they have a great relationship, are extraordinarily successful in business, or they have the body and energy that you desire, they're not lucky. They've got a set of thoughts and behaviors that they apply and work for them that got them there.

 

You don't need to reinvent the wheel every time. You don't need to reinvent a way for you to succeed. Model others who have already achieved what you want to achieve.

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cYOUR PERSUASIVE EDGE

People often associate the topic of persuasion primarily with the concept of selling, but the importance of effective persuasion skills really pertains to every one of us regardless of our individual vocation. Every day each of us is involved to some degree in influencing the thoughts and actions of others. In fact, the path to success in life lies to a very large extent in gaining the cooperation of others. In this edition of Insights, we continue with our ongoing segment dedicated to the topic of persuasion.

 

Persuade with Patience

 

One of the challenges we face when trying to persuade others is that we often tend to approach the interaction with a sense of unwarranted urgency. While it is certainly true that time is frequently a critical aspect in getting others to arrive at our way of thinking about a particular idea or action, such as in a situation where quick action is necessary to avoid a danger or take advantage of a truly limited opportunity, this is not always the case. Sometimes we may overestimate the importance of getting agreement quickly and fail to realize that time can actually be on our side and used to advantage when trying to persuade others. Unless the issue at hand is clearly recognized by your listener to be crucial and pressing, being insistent and forceful can actually be counter-persuasive.

 

People generally instinctively resist being rushed into making a decision. We have all heard tales about people's resistance to "pushy" salespeople. Hardly anyone ever feels comfortable accepting a new or different concept without thinking things through bit and having the opportunity to arrive at a favorable decision for his or her reasons, not someone else's.

 

generate-interest
 

First Generate Interest

 

The first step in generating a persuasive dialog is to get another person interested in wanting to listen to you. Persuasive success might simply start by getting your listener to pause and say, "Hmm. You've got a point. I'm going to have to think about that." Getting someone to "think twice" is really the beginning of persuasion. All too often when attempting to coax someone to adopt their ideas, many people do a data dump on their listener. They give every possible fact, figure and feature in hopes that something they say will stick and then zoom in for a decision. However, if you really want to be effective at persuasion, then you need to first find out what is important to your listener and then fashion your argument so that it focuses primarily on his or her unique needs and concerns.

 

Then give your listener the opportunity to digest what you have said. Be patient. Give your listener time to reflect on the logic of your position, its emotional appeal and your own personal credibility. See article on Your Persuasive Appeal. Permit time for your listener to process what you have said and ask questions. This will not only make the person you want to persuade more comfortable and more receptive, it will also help you uncover other issues that may stand in the way of agreement.

 

Generate Buy-In 

 

Persuasion is not necessarily the same as proving a point or winning an argument. Persuasion is not about being right; it is all about influencing another's thinking. Effective persuasion is not simply about getting someone to admit they agree with you, because if someone doesn't completely buy in to what you are advocating, he or she is not likely to follow through on any action you desire of them with a true sense of commitment or enthusiasm.  

 

Effective persuasion requires your listener to accept what you say on an emotional as well as on a conscious, logical level. For this to happen you need to give the listener time to process and contemplate and to reach a point where they recognize that what you are trying to persuade them about is consistent with their own feelings and beliefs.  

Benjamin Franklin understood that the art of persuasion was to induce another person to influence himself, and he knew that persuading others to his point of view took patience. He realized people are won over slowly, often indirectly.

 

It is critically important to understand that few people are persuaded at the first exposure to an idea. Some salespeople find it especially hard to grasp this concept. They are so knowledgeable about what they are selling that they generally just blurt it out without giving a client time to digest their information. The benefits of their product or service are so clear to them that they often become impatient with potential clients (who don't have the advantage of the salesperson's knowledge) to make a quick decision. This often costs them not only sales but in many cases, valuable time while a potential customer stalls and comes up with smokescreen objections because in spite of the salesperson's knowledge and high ethical values, they are uncomfortable making a buying decision. A similar scenario can also play out in any persuasion interaction.

 

Strive for Little Victories

 

Whenever possible, take a step by step persuasive approach to allow your listener to clearly understand and appreciate the value of your position to everyone concerned, but especially to him or her. Repeat your argument over time to reinforce the benefit of your position while continuing to learn more and more about your listener's needs and concerns. Simply hearing an idea repeatedly tends to reduce resistance to it. Be clear in your own mind about exactly what you are after and be persistent. Don't expect to "win" the first time. The first objective should be simply to start the other person thinking.

 

You can never expect every person you are trying to convince to agree with you right there and then. Some may be persuaded easily while others may tend to be more cautious with their decisions. Just exercise enough patience and do not give up. Be patient, and don't underestimate the power of little victories.

 

Ask us a question about persuasiveness. 

 

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I hope you have enjoyed what you've read. As always, we value your thoughts and comments. Please feel free to:

Pat Iannuzzi
Symbiont Performance Group