John S. Gordon - Business and Personal Coach

"You have the greatness and the power.  I just help you turn on the switch."

Welcome to Issue 292.  The mission of "Marvelous Mondays" is to offer an inspirational thought, a practical exercise, some humor, or a simple tip to jump-start your week and to enhance your life, business, outlook or relationships. 

Please feel free to forward "Marvelous Mondays" to others who will enjoy it.   

Did you miss a previous issue?  Click here to view an Archive.   

STOP INTERRUPTING ME NOW! (Dealing with Irritating Behaviors)

How do you deal with irritating behaviors?  What do you do in a business or a personal conversation when you are being constantly interrupted?  You are frustrated and upset.  You have several choices to make:

1. You can choose to say nothing.  (Usually due to feeling awkward and not knowing assertive skills). 
2. Emotional Responses.You can respond with statements such as:

• "You always interrupt me" or
• "You are so inconsiderate" or
• "You need to learn how to listen" or
• "Stop interrupting me right now"

While these emotional responses may seem justified, it rarely brings positive results and instead can cause the conversation to go the wrong direction.  

3.The DESC Approach.  (described in our last issue)

In our last issue we discussed the first four elements of the DESC system for an assertive conversation. Today I offer you three additional tips to add to your DESC script: 

1. Commitment. Ask the person if he/she will comply with your request.

2. Summarize. Summarize the agreement.

3. Thank you. Then thank the person for their agreement.

THE IMPROVED SCRIPT FOR DEALING WITH JIM, THE HABITUALLY LATE TEAM MEMBER

In our last issue, I gave you a  "bad" script for dealing with someone like Jim, the team member who habitually shows up late for the morning team meeting.  Last week's script was "you don't care about your job" or "you go to bed too late" or "you're always late for work".  Now let's use the DESC system, rewrite that script, and add the three additional tips:

1. Describe.  "Jim, you come to work 10-15 minutes late as you did this morning."
2. Express Your Feelings.  "It causes a problem for me because that's when we meet to plan the day.  It makes me very frustrated."  
3. Specify the behavior that needs changing.  "Starting tomorrow, I would like you to be here at 8:30 am when we have the team meeting."
4. Consequences.  "This will help me because you will be here to hear our plan for the day and I won't have to come and find you and repeat it."
5. Commitment.  "Can I count on you to be here at 8:30 am?"
6. Summarize.  "Okay.  Thanks.  We have agreed that starting tomorrow you'll be at work at 8:30am for the daily team meeting.  Do I have it right?"
7. Thanks.  "Jim, Thanks for making this happen." 

I acknowledge Dr. Ian Brooks for some of the language in the script.

This week I invite you to do the following:

1. Tell me your thoughts about the improved script with Jim.
2. Prepare your script for dealing with an interrupting person.  
3. Prepare a script that would be useful to you for a business or personal matter.

I am offering a free coaching session to the first three persons who contact me to assist them in preparing their script.  

 Please contact me if you would like to learn more about this interesting and powerful skill.  Just pick up the phone and call me at 816-213-0125.

                   **John is currently accepting a few new coaching clients.**