My body and mind, heart and soul are sharing the journey and preparing for our collective 70th birthday.
Bodily aging shows the most visible signs, both to others and to ourselves. I aspire to a wise balance between honoring its changes and testing it limits to determine where, indeed, I am and where I can be physically at this time in my life.
Mental aging permeates the functions of memory, focus, and learning. I want to expand my mental perspective by opening my mind, rather than allowing it to narrow and close down over time.
The golden years bring emotional changes to our inner circle of family and friends. Parents may need us more, while children may be launching independent adult lives (or sometimes the reverse is true). Our broader relational communities are also in flux. Retirement, new interests, and changing abilities affect the ways in which we establish a sense of belonging and contribution to group effort.
Our next stop is the topic of spiritual maturity. I often think of soul as the nexus of meaningful experience in my life. It answers the questions, "Who am I?" "What is important to me?" "What is my purpose for getting up in the morning and choosing what to do with the day?"
As the years add up, however, my spiritual view is less defined but more profound. The meaning and purpose of my life go beyond what I do and why. The answer to "Who am I?" is not fully expressed in terms of skills, interests, values, roles, accomplishments, and personality traits (no matter how noble or worthwhile they appear to be). The soul stands outside the world in which I think, choose, and do. It transcends the clutter and connects with the universal, the infinite, the divine.
It began with the changes in self-image that came when I left a long-term career. It continued as I crafted a new persona as life coach, marathon program trainer, and writer. It has gained momentum as I begin to envision this stage of life in terms of the next grand adventure, however near or far into the future that may be.
Isn't it depressing to prepare mentally for dying? Less and less so as my view of life's purpose evolves. I once saw the exercise in terms of anticipating my own obituary. Wrapping things up meant assembling a catalog of life events, accomplishments, personal qualities, and labels that would collectively capture my time on earth. I thought of dying in terms of legacy. I am now taking heart from the image of letting it all go, not just in those final days, but as a positive aspect of the remaining journey.
I still describe myself by the roles I play (wife, mother, friend, runner, writer, coach). I affiliate with political, religious, ethnic and cultural tribes. I have favorite sports teams and foods and vacation spots and hobbies. I like some people better than others. I love technology (except when I hate it). Classical, yes; jazz, no. But do all those qualities add up to who I really am? Or is the inner self, the one I call "soul," entirely different?
I am growing to see the soul as a still and peaceful center surrounded by all that noise. My inner light transcends the life I have lived and the name that I bear. It is much simpler than that. It is, instead, a spark of God. When my time comes to move on, I hope to recognize the bliss. When the time comes, I want to leap with joy into the eternal flow. In the time that remains, I want to delight in the moment, celebrate what-is, accept what-is-not, and identify with soul more than with body, mind, or even heart.
