It is humbling to face the changes I see and feel in my body. Last time, I shared some of the personal details and you added your own in the dialogue that followed. Yes, we can take steps to enhance our health and fitness at any age. No, we can't conclusively stop or reverse the process of decline. At some point, wisdom points us toward the reality of accepting and adapting.
So now I ask, is the same as true of mind? My keys like to hide. My car moves from one parking spot to another while I am in the store. Names and faces don't connect. Did I really miss the deadline for property taxes and fail to proofread my tax return, resulting in costly fees? Yes, I am ever more aware of the scary moments when memory falls short, and I blame it on age. Most articles are reassuring. Some of those challenges, while annoying, are unlikely to affect mental function over the long term. And then there are others, that might.
When I face the reality of dementia in family and the possibility of going there too, I realize how deeply I identify with memory and mind. I am what I remember of my life and the conclusions that I draw about myself. I am what I think about the larger world of literature and history, politics and science, philosophy and psychology. I am what I envision in relationships with other people. I am what I believe about God and the purpose of life. What and who would I be if my thinking veered off course and memory failed catastrophically?
The last time, we talked about the role of meditation and present-moment awareness in adapting to physical change. I find the same practice helpful when tempted to ruminate on changes in mental ability. I give thanks for the gift of what works today, and commit to making the most of it. I seize the moment and let the future go.
The B70 adventure list I have been developing since summer is weighted toward mental challenges. Taking a class. Joining a book group. Exploring new volunteer roles. Writing another book. Designing and offering an online class. Drumming. An element of my motivation is to "use it" and postpone "losing it." However, the greater impetus comes from indulging and celebrating the beauty and power of mind in the moment. Not taking it for granted.
The music appreciation class I am taking this fall has been a remarkable experience in that regard. I have always enjoyed music from a sensory and aesthetic perspective. The additional understanding that comes with music theory has added a whole new, mental component. I celebrate the chance to face and meet the challenge. A 100 percent on this week's exam is especially sweet.
