The topic of stress, its many manifestations, and our varied opportunities to respond, could go on and on.  Our lives are fueled by the energy of internal and external stressors.  Some we experience as pleasant, many we do not.  We do, however, have a choice between succumbing to the negative impacts of stress, or working with its energy to improve the quality of our lives.

 

As I looked for a framework to summarize those messages about stress that I find most helpful, I remembered a pithy slogan from elementary school days.  We were urged to stop, look, and listen before crossing the railroad tracks. (on further reflection, the metaphor of avoiding a train wreck also applies well here). The following are a few key principles and practices I find helpful when times are tough.

 

Stop

 

In times of stress, it helps me to stop, breathe, and focus on the present moment. I release those troubling reruns of past events and catastrophic forecasts of the future, even if only for a short while.

 

I pray for the serenity to accept those aspects of the situation that I cannot change, including the emotions arising from unwelcome events. 

 

I tap into compassion for myself and for the others who are sharing the stressful experience with me (including those whom I want to blame). 

 

I identify unrealistic expectations and, to the best of my ability, I let them go.

 

Look

 

When the impact of stress threatens to overwhelm, I look for the silver lining, the lesson to learn, the skill to develop.

 

I reassure myself that, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

 

I seek perspective, viewing my own discomfort in the broader context of human suffering in its many forms. My own distress often shrinks with the comparison.

 

I build confidence by recalling other difficulties I have conquered or outgrown.

 

I draw inspiration from others who have overcome adversity.

 

I look for creative opportunities to make lemonade out of lemons. 

 

Listen 

 After exploring the active problem-solving approach of re-framing events and looking for ways to adapt and respond, I stop and return to breathing in silence.

 

I listen for the wise inner Voice whose guidance is reliable and true.

 

Sometimes the Voice calls for action.

 

Sometimes it calls for patience. 

 

Sometimes it counsels reading or meditation. 

 

Sometimes it connects me with others and enables me to ask for help. 

 

The Voice reassures me that stress is a part of being alive.  It is part of being human.  It cannot be avoided, but can be re-directed from harmful to beneficial ends.