We flip the calendar and welcome a new month. We celebrate fresh starts and creative beginnings. On the other hand, we bring the complex stresses of our everyday life forward as well.
Arthritis and diabetes have not vanished. Neither have the conflicts at work or at home, the challenge of paying bills, the needs of loved ones, or recurring home repairs. Addiction, anxiety, and depression; the list goes on. In many cases, circumstances are unlikely to improve soon, if ever. How do we cope when that is the case?
I was well into midlife and seeing a therapist to help me deal with chronic anger. After several months of give-and-take, she remarked, "It seems that you are looking for a spiritual solution rather than a psychological one." Now, nearly 30 years later, I agree. I have also, however, watched the field of psychology grow to encompass principles once seen as religious in nature.
Counselors encourage us to develop inner resources rather than trying so hard to change others. We are encouraged to pray: "Grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." We are offered meditation practice and positive visualization as tools for building emotional resilience. People of all faiths respond to the Dalai Lama's central teaching of kindness toward oneself and others.
The occasional flush of anger and the stress of wanting to get my own way are still a part of my life. I am, however, grateful that a lifetime of reading and learning has opened my mind to a better way. On a day when I feel stuck in habitual patterns of judgment, resentment, and blame, I have access to alternative perspectives and practices that calm my soul and foster equanimity.
I am especially attracted to those who tap both ancient Buddhist principles and contemporary neuroscience for approaches to harmful stress. One such teacher, Jon Kabat Zinn, has developed a process called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). Kabat Zinn has worked for decades in a clinical setting with patients suffering from chronic health issues: headaches, back pain, AIDS, cancer, arthritic disorders, diabetes, and other degenerative conditions. His primary tools are meditation and yoga. His results are remarkable. His patients demonstrate the powerful link between healing the mind and healing the body, improving their ability to function under circumstances they once considered intolerable.
Mindfulness training calms, in part, because it slows us down. It interrupts our frenzied attempts to solve problems by force of will and intensity of effort. It also works at a deeper level. Meditation shifts our focus from past hurts and future fears toward accepting the present moment on its own terms. Presence and acceptance are powerful antidotes to stress and suffering of every kind.
The cultivation of mindfulness is no longer relegated to the sangha or the monastery. Meditation and yoga have become respected components of mainstream health and wellness programming. Even so, I believe that a spiritual dimension of the practice underlies its effectiveness.
In my experience, meditation tunes into a frequency on which stories have happy endings. The happiness may not include physical healing, wealth, fame, or other external measures of success. The happiness I am thinking of is internal. It arises with releasing expectations, embracing the mixed bag of life, and believing that any experience, however painful, can be transformed and redeemed. Such an act of faith and hope goes beyond the physical into another dimension of being human.
