A recent performance of Shrek, the Musical included a cameo appearance by Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  The fairy tale by that name has a message or two for me as I size up the experience of stress in my life.

I have long complained that I feel like a reptile, unable to maintain a comfort zone as air temperature changes.  I am only truly at ease from 70-72 degrees.  Outside that zone, I feel some degree of stress.

Likewise I am picky about the balance of solitude and community.  Only a few degrees of togetherness separate the stress of loneliness from the stress of overload.

Same with planned activities!  One or sometimes two events a day, 3-4 days a week, leave just the right amount of white space on my calendar for a retired lifestyle.  More commitments and I feel rushed, less and I get bored.

What lessons do I draw from these (and there are many other) examples in my life? The sweet spot between enough stimulation and too much stress can be small. Finding that sweet spot takes careful planning and vigilant monitoring. But what if finding that spot is missing the point?  What if, instead, I worked toward enlarging my comfort zone?

I have plenty of options for building a to-do list or adding social, cultural, and physical activities when the pace drags.  On the other hand, maybe it would be helpful to accept the discomfort and, in the process, become more patient and adaptable. Rather than filling the time immediately, I could make peace with emptiness.  

As I observe the aging process, I am surprised by the stress that sometimes grows as busy-ness wanes. Retiring from full-time work.  Losing a loved one after years as their caregiver.  Downsizing volunteer roles.  Health conditions that limit mobility, vision, hearing, or remembering gradually limit the opportunities that have filled the time and added meaning for so long. We can see it in our elders, even if our own lives haven't yet provided a glimpse. The mind is no longer up to playing Bingo.  The eyes to reading.  The knees to hiking.  The ears to enjoying conversation.  Food doesn't taste as good, especially when the sense of smell is also weak. Loved ones come to visit but who are they, again?

Are you more often stressed by too much or too little to do?  How do you adjust when the balance is "too hot, or too cold...not just right."