During the last few months, my prayer list has grown.  A friend diagnosed with brain cancer passed a few weeks later.  Another experienced multiple cycles of near-death and rebirth from a systemic staph infection.  Others are returning from knee replacement and hip repair. Selling and buying homes; moving.  Losing and starting jobs; retiring.  Caring for elders, partners, and youngsters.  The daily news adds to the list: political and social conflicts, epidemics, earthquakes and volcanoes. 

Last week I asked a buddy group what topic they would like to explore next.  Responses, while varied, echoed with a common theme: "Let's talk about stress."  A few days later, an article appeared in my inbox: "Science shows that stress has an upside.  Here's how to make it work for you." Perfect timing. 

Stanford University professor Kelly McGonigal was interviewed in the Washington Post about her new book, The Upside of Stress.  McGonigal has reviewed the research and reaches a surprising conclusion:  Stress is only harmful if we believe that it is harmful.  The toxic effects of elevated heart rate, damaging cortisol levels, and other physical symptoms arise, not from troubling circumstances, but from the fear, resistance, and defeat that often come along for the ride.   Animal research reveals a pattern of "learned helplessness" in response to stress. While many humans exhibit similar dynamics, some do not.  Inspiring stories of people overcoming adversity show that a few key factors enable them to transcend and transform the temptation to give up.

First, those who transform stressful stimuli believe in their own power.  They trust themselves to make lemonade out of lemons, re-engineering painful realities into growth opportunities.  Second, they engage the power of community.  They see themselves not as singled out for suffering but as part of the broader human experience.  They show compassion for themselves and others; they ask for, accept, and offer help.  Third, these "transformers" connect their suffering with higher or deeper meaning.  They move from passive to active mode as they develop a sense of purpose around their response to uninvited change.

The energy that infuses a personal goal is related to the energy that can, but need not, generate stress-induced illness.  The difference arises when we see the energy in constructive terms and seize the opportunity to point it toward a positive outcome.  Stress turns bad with resignation or agitation.

This morning my quote-of-the-day software popped up with wise words from Carlos Castaneda: "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." Perfect timing!

When in your life have you or others transformed unwelcome changes into opportunities for growth?  What challenges do you currently face, and how might you seek meaning and community to work them through?