Behavioral research shows that it takes 21 days to introduce a new habit. After three weeks of consistent practice, the new pattern feels more natural than the one it replaced. We feel more stress when falling back than moving forward.
After three months, those new habits are even better established. In many cases, we can rely on autopilot to make the wiser choices without a lot of conscious thought and extra effort. Does that mean I am off the behavior-change hook for good after 90 days have passed? No!
New habits and associated neurological connections in the brain become stronger with repetition, that is true. They become easier. Those patterns are, however, built around a particular set of internal and external circumstances. Maintaining desired habits over time requires that we adapt those new behaviors when conditions inevitably change.
We get used to choosing a particular healthy salad for lunch, then the deli goes out of business. Our daily run is disrupted by injury or weather. Routines that support communication with partners or children fall apart as daily schedules change with the season. We get used to morning meditation, then an early-rising family member comes to live with us. Changes of schedule, relationship dynamics, physical capacities, support networks, and other factors can easily derail our success. The maintenance stage of change calls for flexibility, resilience, and recurring commitment to our long-term vision and desire for change.
In my current example, the three-week break has disrupted a recently established pattern of writing for 1-2 hours every morning after breakfast. The travel schedule also threw off my regular running and yoga habits. And then there was eating! The abundance of unique regional treats and the featured roles of eating and drinking on our travel adventure distracted me from habits established at home.
I am not discouraged about these changes, as I made them with full awareness and consent. However, I don't want them to become a new and re-trained 21-day autopilot program.
I want to resume Sharing the Journey and re-commit to writing those weekly emails for the rest of the year. I want to re-discover moderate eating and drinking, careful shopping for a well stocked kitchen, and eating-out as exception rather than rule. I don't need to recycle the stages of pre-contemplation and contemplation. With a little preparation, I am ready to act. Once I act, and do it again a few more times, I am back to maintenance.
This topic came along at a good time, as my recent experience illustrates the stages of change. I can get back on track more easily by understanding those stages and coaching myself thoughtfully through the process.
