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Sharing the Journey

A Year of Growth and Change

 

Issue 16: April 10, 2015
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Past issues (updated monthly): Archive of 
Reflections and Sharing the Journey

 

Greetings!  

Thank you for joining me and a small community of buddies on this adventure. We will explore key principles of personal growth, combined with guided reflection and journal writing to make changes that lead toward healthier, happier lives. 

Go well!  
                          Pam 

Greetings...

The last time, we began to explore James Prochaska's model of readiness for change, consisting of several predictable stages.  The first two stages are critical to success because they entail lining up the mental and emotional resources needed for sustained and successful effort.  This week I will share my journey from "I can't and don't want to think about it," to making changes that last.

Ready, Willing, and Able

When I hit my 50th birthday, I was significantly overweight.  I had always struggled with healthy eating, and had gained more than 40 pounds when pregnant.  Fifteen years later, I was still carrying most of it around. I was resigned to, and gradually making peace with that fact.  I was a poster child for precontemplation.

 

It sounds odd, but I never expected to lose weight in Weight Watchers.  I joined as a favor to a friend who needed ten people to start an at-work program.  I figured I might pick up some tips on healthier choices, and it helped that my employer covered the cost.  Then an amazing thing happened:  I lost weight in spite of myself! 

 

In six months, I reached my not-very-ambitious goal.  I maintained for six weeks and became a "lifetime" member.  By the time my employer subsidy was used up, membership was free and personal motivation and confidence had kicked in.  I loved the way I felt.  I loved the way I looked.  I enjoyed being active and got hooked on running.  My blood tests improved.  I felt younger than I had in 15 years.  The motivation had shifted from doing a favor for someone else to doing a favor for myself.  I had seen that I could accomplish the impossible, and confidence was its own reward. 

 

But the story does not end there.  I found that my new outlook built on itself.  I took on more challenges at work and succeeded there.  I extended my training until I was running marathons.  I retired and trained for a new career as a life coach because I wanted to help others have experiences as powerful as my own.  Then I started writing and published a book. In so many ways, all those dominoes fell into place beginning with the relatively small step of joining Weight Watchers to help a friend.

 

Precontemplation moved into contemplation when my reasons for change arose from within.  Contemplation crossed the threshold of action when a critical mass of motivation and confidence came together...when "I don't want to think about it," "I just sorta want it," and "I can't do it" gave way to voices with an entirely different message.

Writing to Grow

When I think about the behaviors I want to change, I tend to say...

 I don't want to.

I can't.

I may.

I will.

I am!

I still am!!

 

I am most challenged by:  a) motivation, b) confidence, c) some of both.

 

If motivation is your biggest challenge, develop two lists: 
  

1) I want to make the change because...

2) I want to maintain the status quo because... 

 

Be brutally honest about the benefits of staying put.  They must be powerful because they have prevented you from taking the action you say you want, probably for a long time.  After making the lists (and checking them twice), ask yourself:  
  

1)    Are my reasons for change personally compelling? 

2)    Has my desire reached the tipping point?

 If the answer is "no," please do yourself a favor.  Let it go for now.  It may come back, or it may not.  Don't waste your precious energy chasing something that isn't powerfully, personally, and deeply important to you. 

 

If confidence is your biggest challenge, develop the following lists:
 
 1)    My key character strengths are...

2)    My relevant talents and skills are...

3)    I have succeeded in (list accomplishments)

4)    I have the following support system (buddies, teachers, doctors, clergy, etc.)...

5)    My role models and other sources of inspiration are...

6)    I also have (other resources and opportunities)

 

You will see topics repeating from earlier discussions.  That is because deep, internal motivation and unshakable confidence in our ability to make an important change are core components of the growth process.  Our ability to follow a course of action depends on building those resources past the tipping point of ready, willing, and able.  

From the Bookshelf


Moore, Margaret and Tschannen-Moran, Bob.  Coaching Psychology Manual
Prochaska, James O.  Changing for Good

Going Deeper

Check out my book on Wellbuddies website.
Signed copies only $10, delivered in or around Missoula, MT.
    Add $4 for media-rate mailing (PayPal available)
Also available in paperback or Kindle formats on Amazon.com
 
 

Pam Gardiner
Wellbuddies Coaching
wellbuddies@gmail.com  
406-274-0188