Last week, we explored the impact of role models on our aspirations.  We considered the value of biographical literature, learning from others who have achieved in the face of adversity.  Our inspiration, however, comes not only from those who occupy the bookshelf.  It comes as well from the ordinary people in our everyday lives. 

 I am so grateful for the Buddy Factor!  When Marylea invited me to Weight Watchers, she changed my life.  Long after Lyle and I shared our first 10K, the path has led me to the 65-69 age group. Buddies held my hand  with each creaky step on the career ladder.  They cheered me into writing Reflections, training as a life coach, publishing Going Deeper, and leading the Galloway marathon class.  I did none of those things on my own.  The energy of friends and the momentum of community were, and continue to be, invaluable.

 Social learning, role modeling, and peer energy can, on the other hand, move us in directions we would rather not go.  Each week at Weight Watchers, we talk about challenges with potlucks, eating out, food-as-love, and the "pushers" in our lives. Our buddies love us and they want us to be healthy, but they may not appreciate our addictive tendencies and difficulty with wise choices.  They want us to be happy, and may feel sad when we reject fun food and drink.  Similar dynamics arise with running buddies.  Sometimes we want and need the encouragement to push through and increase our distance or speed.  At other times we need support for slowing down or taking a day off to prevent or heal from injury.

 Since my circle of dearest friends these days are running, eating, and drinking buddies I am challenged to navigate the mixed bag of energetic forces they represent. They encourage me to sign up for more races and cheer when I finish faster than the last time.  They invite me out for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and beer.  They bring delicious goodies to potlucks and training runs.  They buy me another round. I love these folks and their energy in my life, but I am sometimes conflicted about their offers. 

 I have learned that social support cuts both ways.  It can energize me to meet some personal goals while undermining others.  I will only stay on the path I have chosen if I can work well with the influence of others. I want to maintain a respectful distance between following their lead and making my own decisions.  With the shoe on the other foot, I want to support the choices my friends make for themselves, whether or not the same choices would work for me    

 Where in your life does the Buddy Factor cut both ways?  How do you balance the benefits of inspiration against the hazards of temptation in response to their urging and example?