Last week's reflection on dealing with a busy schedule generated a number of responses. So many of us resonate with overwhelm that I am drawn to ask a deeper question: why? Why do we fill our plates until they overflow, then add some more?
A few months ago, I had a similar conversation with a fellow life coach. We were talking about our desire to help others, to make a difference, to live a meaningful life. That topic led quickly to a discussion of over-commitment, which proceeded in short order to overwhelmed.
The answer to "why" is rooted, for me, in self-worth. Although I have long subscribed to a faith that blesses creation with intrinsic value, the small but insistent voice tells me there must be more. Perhaps God loves the lilies of the field and the birds in the air for their own sake, but surely He requires more of me. Having received the gift of intentional behavior, I feel compelled to use it for a higher purpose. I sense a need to do good things in order to deserve approval-of myself, of others, of the Higher Power.
Once I conclude that virtuous acts are the purpose of my life, the trip to a busy schedule is short and swift. The more I do, the better a person I am and the more I deserve to take up space and breathe the air we share. Sometimes, however, I step back long enough to ask whether my assumptions are correct. Is more always better?
Despite teachings to the contrary, I continue to hang my self-worth on good works. I would love someday to outgrow that view and embrace the intrinsic value of creation in the divine image. In the meantime, however, I see clearly that doing more may not mean doing anything well. When I am too busy, I do not hear the signal of need and the call to respond. When I am too busy, I am tired and stressed and my attention shifts inward as I look for ways to recover and re-charge.
My worth ethic is a work in progress, on its way from quantity of doing to quality of being as a measure of success. Along the way, I am learning that purposeful effort is enhanced by reflective awareness. Less can be more in finding the right balance between action and contemplation.
How do you respond when good intentions overfill your time? Can you dial back on the active life without feeling a loss of self-worth? Do you want to give it a try?
