Last week, I shared a reflection written five years ago when the pace of my life threatened to overwhelm. I gained insight then from the metaphor of navigating whitewater successfully. The topic was timely last week, as I was riding a surge of intensity around my volunteer roles on Missoula Marathon weekend.
Today I am sitting on a figurative riverbank below the rapids, enjoying the peaceful ripples of stillness flowing by. As I reflect on the joy and energy of sharing the past weekend with people and activities I love, I am pleased as well to recall the rewards of creating white space on a calendar that started out filled to overflowing.
I felt the urge to do it all: the hike, the pub run, breakfast with one friend and lunch with another, the vendor booths, the seminar, and more. I wanted to watch fireworks at the start and to hug the last person when he crossed the finish line eight hours later. I am pleased to say that maturity and perspective eventually won out, and I found ways to pause and re-charge between major events.
Some of you probably wonder what I am fussing about. It's all good! Why not get up earlier, stay up later, and pack it all in? After all, you can catch up on sleep when everything settles down in a few days, right? Not for me, and not for the others of you whose copy of Susan Cain's Quiet is tattered and worn. Falling at the introverted end of the temperament scale, I feel not only fatigued and grouchy but physically ill when over-socialized and over-stimulated during times like these. For many years, I just felt guilty that I couldn't match the energy I saw in my peers. When I learned more about the personality spectrum, I came to accept and honor my needs even when they differ from those of the mainstream.
I skipped some events and cut others short. I asked friends to fill behind me here and there. I drove to a park and read the paper. I had a beer with one friend instead of joining hundreds more at an event down the street. I went home for a hot midday bath and nap. I skipped the starting line to be fresh for the last finisher of the day.
The results were gratifying. My levels of activity and social connection over marathon weekend were well above average, yet I had a wonderful time. I came away from it all with a smile on my face and passion for more. That hasn't always been true. When I have allowed a sense of duty and unquestioned desire to "do it all' rule my decisions, I have emerged on the other side burned-out and resentful. Taking the initiative to create white spaces and use them for recovery worked so well, I think I will do it again.
Are you challenged by a congested calendar and back-to-back social events? Do you chide yourself for losing energy when others keep going? How might you see and do it a different way?
