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Aren't You Afraid?
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Skimming the headlines this week, I find stories about computer hacking, home invasion and deadly response, attempted kidnapping, and several highway fatalities. Political conflicts and natural disasters wreak havoc around the globe. Cancer, chemical waste, and climate change loom. As I reel from the unending litany of dangers surrounding us, I am thinking about Grandma.
My grandmother was a world-class worrywart. As a teenager, I was impatient with her tendency to find catastrophe lurking behind every adventure. I went out of state to college: "Aren't you afraid to be so far from home?" "I spent the summer in Mexico: "Aren't you afraid of all those foreigners?" I took up backpacking. "Aren't you afraid of wild animals?"
Grandma was in her mid-60s when I was born, so I knew her as a woman moving through the stage of life I now inhabit. It is easier now for me to envision the universe she described when expressing concern. The older I get, the more evidence I absorb about the risks involved in living on Earth.
I struggle to respond appropriately to the threats we face and the protective measures we are advised to take. Change your passwords. Make an evacuation plan. Wear sunscreen. Buy a gun. Eat this; avoid that (or the reverse). While I don't want to be naïve, nor do I want to accede to excessive, unquestioning fear. As my exposure to potential threats increases with age, so does my experience with trustworthy people, safe travel, and an effective immune system. Things sometimes go terribly wrong; they also (and with much less drama) go remarkably well most of the time.
One of my favorite spiritual texts, A Course in Miracles, teaches: "In my defenselessness my safety lies." I believe the core of truth in that statement. I can sense the threat I project when afraid; I also sense the trust I engender when I offer it first. When asked, even now, "Aren't you afraid?" I can answer, most of the time, that truly I am not. How do you balance the need for prudence against chronic and debilitating fear? Which threats compel extra measures of caution? Which do not?
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Pam Gardiner
Wellbuddies Coaching
wellbuddies@gmail.com
406-274-0188
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