Last time, I shared some lessons about work and retirement that I learned from losing my father at an early age.  He harbored chronic anger about a work environment he hated, envisioned a much better life in retirement, then died before reaping the rewards.

My mother also died young (at 59) in the throes of job stress.  Widowed twenty years earlier, she had found herself in the breadwinner role with little preparation or societal support.  Her secretarial and organizational skills were marketable, and she found work quickly enough.  But the pay was poor and did not include retirement benefits. 

Though she was able to pay the mortgage, support my education, and put food on the table, she could not build the nest egg needed to retire.  After she was diagnosed with cancer and as she went through multiple phases of treatment, she kept working.  Her job offered minimal sick leave benefits and she could not resign without losing health insurance coverage.

For the last few years of her life, I had seen the collision coming.  She dreaded going to work.  It entailed tight deadlines and poor staffing.  She supervised a series of employees whose performance was weak and conduct was worse.  She often expressed the dilemma:  "I can't stand this job but I can't afford to retire."  It almost felt as if an early death was her only escape.

I learned from growing up with my mother that financial was an ideal, even if it seemed at the time an unattainable goal.  I learned that the contract of lifetime support implicit in marriage cold be broken in a heartbeat.  I learned that gender bias in the workplace meant lower pay, less promotion potential, and fewer benefits for women than for men.  The rationale that "men have families to support" rang hollow for us.  I also learned that working in a job that felt like a trap could destroy the will to survive.

As I look back over a career that I loved, the financial security and benefits that it provided, and the opportunity to retire while I am still healthy and strong, I am deeply thankful.  I have been given opportunities that were not available to my mother, beginning with a college education and continuing with the rising tide of workplace equality.  I have also been motivated by her example to make financial security and retirement savings a priority.  Finally, I learned to approach the tough times at work (and they all come with their share) with a constructive attitude, improving conditions where I could and accepting those that I could not change.

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What lessons have you learned about work and retirement from your family's experience? How do those lessons affect the choices you make today?