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When asked to fill behind a manager who had retired, my initial response was guarded. I saw greater impacts on my time and vast gaps in the experience I would bring to the task. I envisioned more responsibility and a very real risk of failure. The part of my brain that is dedicated to self-preservation threatened to withdraw; I almost declined the opportunity.
In Bouncing Back, Linda Graham's book on resilience, I gained new insight into that long-past experience and the events that followed. Competence is one of her five "c's" of responding to challenge. There are different levels of competence.
On the surface, I often do not have the knowledge and experience to deal with a new situation. An employee closes the door to my office and tells me that her boss made a pass at her. As new manager, I have no idea what to do next.
On a deeper level, however, I have a well-developed capacity for learning new skills. As a toddler, I learned to walk. As a teenager, I learned to change a flat tire. As a young adult, I learned very quickly to make funeral arrangements, file insurance claims, and manage an estate.
I did accept the offer of that first management job. I learned from the experience, thrived, and moved on to embrace more responsibility as my career evolved. I draw strength from that memory when life offers new challenges, and it does so every day. I may wallow for a while in uncertainty, but when the time comes to take the next bold step, I know that I can.
We are continually bombarded with new challenges. In midlife, the learning curve seems to steepen. We face serious and complicated health issues. Retirement arrives, whether we are ready or not. Parents age and our families balance the need for protective help against the value of an active and self-directed life.
There is always a skill gap, often a large one, when we face something hard for the first time. At those times, we can tap into a lifetime of experience with learning and adapting under pressure. When the heart remembers overcoming obstacles and surviving setbacks, it confidently declares, "I can do this!" And, lo and behold, I can!
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What past successes do you tap when performing under pressure? How do you leverage the skills of a lifetime when faced with something new?
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