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Wrapped in a fuzzy blanket on the recliner, looking out over the valley this morning, I napped after breakfast for more than an hour. My mind was quiet. Emotions soft and receptive. Senses at rest. Energy low.
I was tempted to call it depression, but asked for the wisdom of a different name. What if the condition we call "SAD" were not seen as a disorder, but as an evolutionary gift? What would it look and feel like if I gave thanks, instead of casting about for a cure?
The shades of gray clouds and brown grass with patches of melting snow are subdued. They turn me inward. They trigger a desire to hibernate and wait for the sun to reappear. Maybe that is a good thing.
Our cultural standard and my personal expectation are for incessant high energy, good cheer, and optimum productivity. When those expectations are unfulfilled, something seems wrong. I put on lively music, shop for a special lamp, and infuse my system with caffeine to counter the mood.
On the other hand, our primitive ancestors did not have special lamps, iPods, or espresso. In winter they were challenged to survive the cold and bridge a season of scarce resources. Over thousands of years, those who hunkered down on a gray day conserved resources and emerged intact with the spring. Those who defied conditions and insisted on an active winter may have run out of juice before the warm sun returned.
No, I am not giving in and giving up on the active life. I live in a heated home, have abundant food, and enjoy a closet full of warm clothing that allows me to thrive outdoors.
On the other hand, I am inclined to listen with more compassion to ancestral voices. Perhaps some days are made for recovery, for snoozing, for letting go and letting be.
I don't always need to fight back and fix them, but can accept and receive, appreciate and learn. Today feels like one of those days.
The palette of life offers a full range of tones: from red to blue and white to black, with shades of gray and brown. Each color has its place in the larger picture. I pray for the wisdom to value them all.
How do you experience the quieter and darker tones of winter? Friend or foe, or some of both?
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