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He tells of dangling from the cliff on a rope, swinging to and fro without a clue about what to do next. The helpful young instructor below asked him what was happening. He replied, "I don't want to talk about it." She then shared a motto from Outward Bound, the adventure leadership program in which he was enrolled: "If you can't get out of it, get into it." That story from author Parker Palmer bubbles up from deep inside my brain whenever I need it most. I need it now.
A few weeks ago, I wrote Reflections about my confrontation with gagging, gurgling throat congestion. Not a pretty topic. Not serious. Not life threatening. But seriously annoying. For more than six months, I have gone from doc to doc, test to test, and experiment to experiment. It is amazing how many medical specialties and cause-effect connections converge at the throat. Lungs, sinuses and stomach are all implicated. Food and inhalant allergies, structural anomalies, and functional failings can, together or independently, wreak a chaos of throat-clearing, coughing, and chronic laryngitis.
It has taken me this long to acknowledge that I can't get out of it. There is no quick fix. There is no drug that relieves the symptoms (and yes, indeed, I have looked). The most likely path to improvement calls for a radical change of diet and careful timing of eating, activity, and sleep. The condition is probably a form of reflux that does not respond to the usual meds. If I want to get out of it I must get into it. I must be willing to take the tough steps needed to change.
Last week, I reflected on our desire to help Lyle's family as they age. For the longest time, it seemed that things were going well. The folks had more good days than bad, and the bad days were tolerable. We visited a week at a time, and saw what we wanted to see. We saw remarkably vibrant people living their 80's in style. We admired and congratulated them on long and healthy lives.
Somewhere along the way, the balance shifted. Bad days caught up with the good days and passed them by. The bad ones got worse. Those of us who live farthest away began to see, even during the span of a week-long visit, that their needs were growing. We struggled to acknowledge, and struggled harder to respond. Now we are struggling with how to make a contribution that works.
Each month, I choose two or three personal growth themes for special attention. This month, I want to focus my effort on family and health. I want to move past the stage of "I don't want to talk about it." I want to stop trying to get out of it, and start getting deeply into it.
I suspect that your life has challenges like these. Where does the motto "If you can't get out of it, get into it" fit best for you?
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