"Nothing is more effective than sincere, accurate praise, and nothing is more lame than a cookie-cutter compliment." - Bill Walsh
A concept I learned when I was a teacher in the Bible Study Fellowship Children's Program was that correcting undesirable behavior might actually reinforce it because the attention is a type of reward. A better approach is to watch for positive behavior and praise it.
I have seen some children's entertainers use this concept when selecting volunteer assistants. While bringing somebody up, they say, "I selected you because you were seated quietly, had your hand up, and were smiling." I have observed that after a few repetitions every child is acting that way because they know that is what will be rewarded.
If praise is too general you don't know what to continue. That is why praise should be specific and accurate. A year ago my local Boy Scout District honored me with an award called the "Commissioner's Key to Unit Effectiveness." I wasn't sure at first why I received the award. Our District Commissioner told me that some of the people in my Cub Scout Pack sent nice comments about my leadership and he let me see the comments. Several people said they appreciated my patience when the kids got a little noisy. (That usually happens during the transition from one activity to another.) Other people commented that they were impressed how the boys quieted down to listen to me during the serious portions of the meeting. I had thought that I should try harder to keep the boys quiet all the time. However, the comments showed me that it was okay if the boys got noisy at times because it means they are excited and having fun. I have learned to tolerate a little chaos as long as I can bring things back under control.
Also specific praise requires effort, which the recipient appreciates. It demonstrates that they are important to you. A thank you card can be considered a type of praise. You are praising the person for what they have done for you. I send a hand written thank you card to my client after each performance, and I try to comment on something specific. For example, I might comment on the extra effort they went to in decorating for the party. The majority of my performances are repeat bookings, and sometimes people comment on how much they appreciate the card they received after my previous booking.
The lack of effort is why a "cookie-cutter compliment" is so lame. If something is obviously a form letter thank you it has limited effectiveness. First, it shows the sender thinks the recipient isn't valuable enough to be worth the effort of preparing something personalized. Second, comments don't have any credibility if everyone receives the same thing. A generic appreciation of contribution to an organization makes the recipient doubt that the sender has any knowledge of what they have contributed.
In addition to being sincere and accurate, praise is more effective if it is unexpected. My local Boy Scout District has a volunteer appreciation/award banquet every year in March. There is a monthly leadership development meeting where awards are sometimes presented. Praise and expressions of thanks are expected there. Last year I was touched when I received an unexpected card from the District on Thanksgiving Day. I knew that extra thought and effort went into preparing and sending those cards to volunteer leaders. That meant more to me than the actual words in the card.
How can you use praise to motivate desired behavior during performances? How can you praise to motivate desired behavior in organizations you belong to? How can you make your praise specific and accurate? How can you demonstrate the value you place in somebody by the effort you go to in thanking them? How can you surprise somebody with praise at an unexpected time?
