We would like to than
k John L. Barber for this joke. He will receive a Newman Tools Swiss Army knife for his contribution.
A wealthy man told his wife that he had always heard about how when you died that you couldn't take your money with you.
He told his wife he would devised a plan to take his money with him. He told her that he was going to put his money in a bag, stash it in the attic and grab it on his way up to heaven.
So after his death his wife went up to the attic and the bag of money was still there.
The wife said, "I knew he should have put the money in the basement."
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This joke came from Carrie Patton who will also receive a Newman Tools knife.
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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