empowerment & inspiration ... all for you
march 18, 2016 

reflection section
that nagging dream      

Snippeteer Geri in Maryland had emailed asking for motivation for her writing. She said "there have been many beginnings in a variety of genres, but no happy endings or follow through." Geri feels pressure from people in her life to write and publish. Although she enjoys writing for pleasure, she doesn't take to the pressure, which actually makes her not want to write! Because the entire scenario nags at her, Geri called her future "uncertain, but most assuredly happy" based on feeling up in the air as a writer.

I suggested to Geri the 'ant step' process (baby steps, next steps), on which I have snippeted before, based on staff meetings called by my mentor and former boss, Roxanne, back in our corporate suit days. Weekly in our small Employee Communications & Activities department, we had to share project updates, plus something we were working on, yet felt stuck. Roxanne asked what would be the very next, even a tiny step, to move forward. Having to say it aloud held us accountable, knowing we had to report in the following week's meeting. AND IT WORKED. 

I asked Geri to also consider something else ... that perhaps she no longer really wants to be a writer and get published? (We spend time doing what we really want to be doing). Perhaps it's a leftover dream? "But if writing makes you happy, Geri" I said, "then DAMNIT, WRITE ALREADY!" (We can't vent about not reaching our dreams if we are not taking action to create them. Your 'ship will come in' when you staff it with a crew and set sail to it.)

Snippeteers, if we are pressuring ourselves that we ought to finish something and follow through to reach a dream - because we "always thought we would" - perhaps the dream doesn't hold true or fit our lives or the vision of ourselves any longer?

"But the most agonizing place you can hang out is in the UNFINISHED MIDDLE" ... is what I said to Geri.
 
When Geri replied, I read relief in her voice! As if she had been "let off the hook." 
 

"I think you may have hit on something that I have never really thought about," she said. "My first tiny step is to figure out if I really even want to write, or be published, anymore. I have held onto the idea as a nagging dream; and so many people ask me when my book is coming out, or why am I not publishing something, that I find myself berating myself and feeling bad about not following through."

Snippeteers, I think we have all done what Geri is doing. We hold onto a dream or something else that we have enjoyed in the past and even try to resurrect it here and there; yet it sits untouched on the back burner. It doesn't seem to get added into our time.

Is it merely an old habit of thought for which we keep holding on? Do we feel we are a failure if we don't follow through with the dream? Is it perhaps only a daydream and not reality?

Are we allowed to switch dreams as we self-grow and change ages? Yes. (We most likely wouldn't have the same dream at age 5 as we do at age 45.) So is it time to LET GO OF THAT NAGGING DREAM - and BE OKAY with it? Ask yourself.

So what if you don't play softball anymore after being an All Star back in the day? Yes, you may have enjoyed it tremendously in one era, yet maybe now you've moved onto a different activity or hobby in this phase of life? So what if you don't ride horses anymore (or ski, scrapbook, cook, embroider, bike, quilt, design, dance, make jewelry) when you used to love it so much and have been wanting to incorporate it back into your life?

So what if that 'dream job' you had always envisioned for yourself never came to fruition? Don't you think if you REALLY wanted it, you would have made it happen??? So what if you don't spend time illustrating, painting or doing photography as much as you think you'd like to?

Truth is, you can still paint, take photos or write, without aiming to be famous and published, right? You are the one pressuring yourself to be ALL OR NOTHING. Couldn't you still enjoy it as a hobby without aiming to be Rembrandt or Ann Geddes or Erma Bombeck? [And by all means, even without being published or famous, you can still call yourself a photographer, a painter, a chef, or a writer!]

But ... what if that "nagging dream" is no longer true to who you are? If the interest has piddled out; if you don't really want it anymore; if the thought of the dream has transformed into merely a habit? THEN RELEASE IT. No one is going to judge you if you don't do it. (And be sure you don't judge yourself.)

And that nagging dream shall nag you never more.

  

the key to happiness is to let
each situation be what it is,
instead of what you think it should be
    
  
    
snippeteer backtalk

  thoughts on last issue:  
just start over  

"I love today's snippet!! So true ... it's so easy to dwell on a decision we've made, something we've said, or something we've done. We need to live in the moment and go through the day as a serious of fresh starts - fresh starts that we have control over. There's no point in looking at the past whether it's 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago. We can't change it, we can only pick up where we are and go from there. Don't like what we just ate?? Ok, so grab an apple as your next snack and take a walk.  We're lucky to have so many choices in our lives; so no need wasting time and energy feeling bad, when we have the power to fix it!"
~ ANNA in PA 

"Thank you, Suzanne, I appreciate that you took the time to focus on my note instead of just reading it. You have already made me feel better. Either way, the end result will be me feeling better about myself. You are really gifted in more ways than you know. I will think about my writing, my life, and let you know what I decide.  
     I am keeping your note and will reread it many times, I am sure. I love who you are and the way you look at life. Keep it up! Thanks, again."
~ GERI in MD


"DEAR SNIPPETS" ...

What's on your mind, snippeteers? Have a nagging dilemma? Need a little nudge to help figure it out? Please at any time feel free to share a concern in your emotional world and together, we'll tackle it head on. (We'll sign it without your name as they do in advice columns). Remember, YOUR feelings and thoughts help OTHERS validate their feelings and thoughts, too!

Signed,  
 
good to giggle

prayer flares

FOR snippeteer Cathy's mom, Josephine, in hospice 

FOR Sarah H in PA with breast cancer and undergoing chemo

FOR Mr. B in PA  diagnosed with cancer
 
FOR Bonnie's stepfather in PA, in the hospital

FOR George in MD rehabbing after bladder surgery

FOR the soul of Miss Mae and those who mourn her passing especially her daughter Debbie

FOR Luci in NY who feels weak and not well, challenged daily with effects of Crohn's Disease    

photo of Suzanne

ciao ...
until you snippet again

suzanne molino singleton  
creator of SNIPPETS   

Celebrating 10 years! created 2006
 
email SNIPPETS here 
BOOKS by SUZANNE


cover design by the very talent Linda Ports, friend and snippeteer
in production and  
coming soon!

A wife's stories of baseball life  
that have everything - and  
nothing - to do with the game

This collection of heartfelt and entertaining stories is an insider's perspective of being "married" to baseball and to Ken Singleton, former Baltimore Oriole and current New York Yankees TV broadcaster. Stories were first published on Mrs. Singy: Married to Baseball, an official baseball blog 2009-2013 on MLB.com and YESnetwork.com. 
 

bike book cover 
click cover to order $7.99/paperback $2.99/Kindle
An assortment of inspirational snippets to encourage, empower, validate and motivate, inspired by Suzanne's countless bike rides through scenic Baltimore County, Maryland and along Florida's Gulf beaches. Whether you're a cyclist or not, you'll latch onto these wise words of inspiration to guide you while pedaling up and down life's hills.

paperwork, 121 pp, 2015 
self-published on Create Space,  
an Amazon company  
 
 
LI book cover
click cover to order autographed copy; proceeds benefit the nonprofit Promotion Center for Little Italy, Baltimore

Before outdoor films, mouth watering cuisine and the spectacle of bocce brought thousands of visitors to its streets, Baltimore's Little Italy was a haven for generations of immigrants. With Saint Leo's Church at its heart, The Neighborhood is a place where lifelong friendships are forged and nicknames are serious business. Featured are beloved locals as we walk thru a spirited history of this enduring Italian community.

paperback, 160 pp, 2015
The History Press, SC

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